dmrbrad Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I left a thread 2 months ago about my cheating fiance. Everyone has helped immensley in their responses. To feel you in, i discovered my fiance cheated on me a while back. I discovered it when she was 3 months pregnant with our second child. This happened six months before but was still very hard to grasp. She seemed very sympathetic at the time and was willing to do what it would take to stay together. I tried to focus on the positive but always found myself questioning her. She understood for about 2 weeks but eventually ran out of patience. She has since left me while being 5 months pregnant and says she can't deal with the drama anymore. I have told her I will not bring it up any more but she still refuses to reconcile. I am now feeling stuck because I love her but I,m still angry over her cheating and her refusal to see things through. What should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 She understood for about 2 weeks but eventually ran out of patience. How selfish of her! She should have been grateful that you were even willing to forgive, without being impatient at how long it takes you to recover and heal from her betrayal. Wow. She really has little remorse, doesn't she? Are you even sure this second child is yours?? At this point, I think it would be best to let her go and let her be on her own. If she really cared for you, she would stick around and help you through it. That she wants to get away and not deal with the consequences of her cheating speaks volumes about her character and how she feels about you and your life together. You aren't required to forgive someone who can't see past her own wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Vixen763 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Two things; She cheated and she has to expect what is coming to her? You feel betrayed and its a process that you take the healing the way you feel... Why doesnt she want you to experience your hurt? Secondly, are you over raecting and getting paranoia or possessive eanting to knwo her every movement and that is driving her crazy? Remember she is more emotional now and perhaps easily irritable because of the pregnancy. You might wnat to try and understand that right now she needs more of your understanding while you work through your emotions as well and talking over in a calm way Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Is the baby even yours? Why would you even want to try again with this girl? You have to realize she is just jerking you around. The best thing you can do is move on. She left you? Doesnt that absolutely prove to you that she has no committment to you or your relationship? Think about it. If she really wanted this to work... 2 weeks would be nothing, it would be more like 2 years. Your so lucky you found out before you got married. This is one of those times where you go NO CONTACT, for a month or two. I got $10 that says once she figures out your not wrapped around her pinkey, she is going to want to try and reconcile! Oh, and dont sign a bloody thing until you figure out who the kids dad really is! Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I left a thread 2 months ago about my cheating fiance. Everyone has helped immensley in their responses. To feel you in, i discovered my fiance cheated on me a while back. I discovered it when she was 3 months pregnant with our second child. I would say get a paternity test on that child. This happened six months before but was still very hard to grasp. She seemed very sympathetic at the time and was willing to do what it would take to stay together. I tried to focus on the positive but always found myself questioning her. She understood for about 2 weeks but eventually ran out of patience. Let me get this straight...she f#cks another man...and it is HER that is running out of patience? Oh no she didn't. She should have been kissing your damn feet for as long as it took until you could shed any anger/hurt whatever. And that could take a couple years even. She has since left me while being 5 months pregnant and says she can't deal with the drama anymore. Well then I hate to say it...but to hell with her then. She cheats, and then leaves you because you are hurting? That shows right there that she doesn't love you. I think she used your inability to shake what she did to you as an excuse to leave. I'd say you are losing nothing and gaining everything. Get a paternity test on that child and thank your lucky stars this huss isn't going to be in your life any longer. She sounds like one cold-hearted bitch. Sorry to be harsh, but thats the way I see it. I am now feeling stuck because I love her but I,m still angry over her cheating and her refusal to see things through. What should i do? Been there and done that my friend. I am now getting divorced. I thought I loved my wife too...but in the end I realized she was nothing but a little tramp and I won't be married to a cheating slut. Trust me man, I know you think you love her, and you probably do. But how can you love someone that f#cks you over like this? Just let her go. She can be someone elses problem. There are other women out there that will give you butterflies and that won't screw you over like she did. Any person that loses patience over their SO not being able to shake the hurt/anger over their cheating isn't worth 2 squirts of piss. Let her go. She isn't worth your time, energy, and love. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I'm with bish... She cheat on you then gets angry that you won't get "over it" faster? My heartache at finding out my H cheated has taken over 4 yrs! I'm not as hurt now as I once was simply because I've decided that divorce is what's best for me but I am still hurt when I sit and think back at all the times I felt such love for this man and was so happy only to discover he was scr**wing me over. I'd let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
zilverenvlinder Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Oh, your poor thing. God, I know how you feel. I mean, I didn't get a child in the mix, but still. It hurts like hell, doesn't it. I'm not trying to give you any advice, because I'm in the same boat, but the same thing happened to me only 2 weeks ago and if you ever want to talk about it please feel free to PM me. Love Z Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Secondly, are you over raecting and getting paranoia or possessive eanting to knwo her every movement and that is driving her crazy? Remember she is more emotional now and perhaps easily irritable because of the pregnancy. You might wnat to try and understand that right now she needs more of your understanding while you work through your emotions as well and talking over in a calm way She cheats on him, yet she needs his understanding? Uh....ok:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Author dmrbrad Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Everyone has been very helpful and enlightening. I don'y know why I keep trying to work things out other than my little girl and future little girl. Its a real slap in the face for me to be the one trying to hold things together when just 2 months ago she was practically begging me to forgive her. I should go with my pride and move on from her but the thought of being a single parent of 2 infant girls is quite scary. She doesn't have a job and is living with her mom and still depends on me for money yet she won't even tell me she loves me or call or anything. I am a complete idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts