Woggle Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I read a lot of these stories from good men who are going through drama with women and a common thread is that they are involved with women who were mistreated by men in the past and women that generally have issues. A nice guy will see a woman like this and he wants to be the one that shows her that good men exist and treat her like a woman should be treated but all he gets is drama. To women like this abusers and players are like a drug. They are bad for them and cause nothing drama but they keep going back to these men because they are addicted. They are addicted to the emotions these men stir up. To these women a healthy relationship with a good man that treats them well is like trying to feed a steak dinner with mashed potatoes on the side to an anorexic. Just like being deprived of food for so long will make it very hard for an anorexic to handle being deprived of real love from men for so long will make one of these women freak out. A good man is much better off finding a woman who already has her issues sorted and is looking for a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I was just wondering when your next thread would be I do agree with this: A good man is much better off finding a woman who already has her issues sorted and is looking for a healthy relationship. and vice versa. Who needs all of the emotional baggage and crap that comes along with issues when just starting out in a relationship. Obviously it isn't possible for everyone to find someone with their life together, but it is always advisable Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 To women like this abusers and players are like a drug. They are bad for them and cause nothing drama but they keep going back to these men because they are addicted. They are addicted to the emotions these men stir up. To these women a healthy relationship with a good man that treats them well is like trying to feed a steak dinner with mashed potatoes on the side to an anorexic. My wife's first husband abandoned her after a year. Her second husband started to become abusive and wouldn't support them or their two daughters so she left him after seven years. She then stayed single for 18 years, dated a bit for six of them then had, by choice, no social life, whatsoever, for the last 12 of them. We met at work five years before I asked her out for the first time and came to admire and respect one another. We also became appropriate work friends. Thankfully, she promoited to a different agency so we no longer worked directly together before we dated. My wife was the first to admit that she didn't really have a concept of a true and good marriage because she'd not ever been in one. She liked the gentleman in me and the attention I showed, the emotional support I provided and integrity. She grew in the role of wife and I improved in the role of husband. We enhance one another. We don't lean on one another. Everyone over the age of 20 has issues, Woggle. In a marriage you can either work on them together or you can let them come betweeen and bury you. We chose to do the former. She and I were 48 and 50, respectively, when we married so we both had pasts and baggage. It's the human condition. It's now been almost 11 years and we're still going strong. It takes desire, commitment and love and the results can be glorious. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Wog, I couldn't disagree with you more. Didn't you have lots of drama with YOUR ex? What if your wife held the attitude you hold? She wouldn't have bothered with you. I had lots of drama and even abuse with my ex-H. It was awful for most of the nine years we were together. I didn't love the man's actions but I did love him. But they're came a time where enough was enough. I wanted someone NORMAL. I had almost given up when along came my H. I've always called him my knight in shining armor so it's kind of funny that you named your thread that. I think if you asked my H if he's sorry that he became my knight in shining armor almost 13 years ago, you'd hear a resounding "NO!" His wonderful treatment of me has been and still is, reciprocated. Believe it or not, there are women who don't shyt on men who act decently towards them. We appreciate it and we return that wonderful treatment. Thank god he came along because I had really lost all hope that there was a good man out there for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Thank god he came along because I had really lost all hope that there was a good man out there for me. My wife had too. Now she refers to me as "my hero." I'll take it! :love: Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Wog, when you find someone who's honestly worked through ever piece of baggage or issue, let me know and I'll report the finding to the scientific community. Look at you, you can't break out your childhood issues with your mother and how old are you now? Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Apart from the glaring generalization to all women in that position, I agree it's true more often than not. My wife was a PERFECT example of this. Abusive past with a lot of trauma. If things were good, she found a way to create drama. A fight wasn't productive unless she hurled personal insults. The more drama, the happier she was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 13, 2007 Author Share Posted August 13, 2007 Curudgeon your wife had enough time to detox herself from bad men so when you came along she was ready for a healthy and happy relationship. There are some women who never detox and feel the need to create drama when there is none and they are the women I am talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 There are some women who never detox and feel the need to create drama when there is none and they are the women I am talking about. ...those men who accomodate them. However, that most certainly does not mean that all women with prior relationships have irreparable baggage which is what you inferred. Get over the past, Wog. It's eating you alive inside and soon enough, your wife will tire of it also and you'll be, once again, the bitter "victim" of your own misogyny! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 ...those men who accomodate them. However, that most certainly does not mean that all women with prior relationships have irreparable baggage which is what you inferred. Get over the past, Wog. It's eating you alive inside and soon enough, your wife will tire of it also and you'll be, once again, the bitter "victim" of your own misogyny! I never said that women with prior relationships have irreperable baggage but they need to sort out their issues. I am talking about men who date women with issues and then wonder why they get hurt in the end. An emotionally un healthy person is not capable of having a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Woggle actually described my very first LTR GF. To this day, from what I hear, she is still very unstable and drama seems to follow her around. I would have liked things to work for us, but she had way too many issues and it brought the worst out of both of us. Of course this is not the majority of guys or gals. Most of us have it together for the most part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 Men come here for advice and I give them the best possible advice they can get. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Men come here for advice and I give them the best possible advice they can get. They ask for advice, not for you to bitch about half of the world's population. Write a book about it or something. Do some actual research. THEN you will gain some people's attention. And be ridiculed and made out to be an annoyance like you are on here by those of us with brains. Im sorry, I actually think you are an alright guy, but I hate to see people preached at. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 If men listened to me and followed my advice they would be a whole lot better off. Just read the link to that board I posted and ask yourself how a man can come to any other conclusion. The writing is on the wall yet men refuse to read. So you're saying that if you had given my H your advice he would have been better off? You would have told him to run from a woman (me) who was in a really bad relationship before him, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 I don't preach at people but if men don't want to hear how to get themselves out of their situations they should not ask for advice. Sometimes truth hurts but it must be told. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 I don't preach at people but if men don't want to hear how to get themselves out of their situations they should not ask for advice. Sometimes truth hurts but it must be told. I have benefited from your advice tremendously and i thank you for it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 So you're saying that if you had given my H your advice he would have been better off? You would have told him to run from a woman (me) who was in a really bad relationship before him, right? You worked through your issues before you married your husband as I said before. What I am talking about are women that are incapable of loving in a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Hey I am a girl and I will side with you for arguments sake. Sure there are a lot of women out there like this. Also, a heck of alot of men who want to rescue them from this. It is a high like no other. Where does that leave someone like me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 I have benefited from your advice tremendously and i thank you for it You are welcome and if more men followe dmy advice they would be better off. The proof is in my own life. My own life is great and I feel I would be a good example to other men. Never take advice from people who can't run their own lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 You are welcome and if more men followe dmy advice they would be better off. The proof is in my own life. My own life is great and I feel I would be a good example to other men. Never take advice from people who can't run their own lives. okay this I find funnier then the "I'm not here to generalize women" comment Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 Hey I am a girl and I will side with you for arguments sake. Sure there are a lot of women out there like this. Also, a heck of alot of men who want to rescue them from this. It is a high like no other. Where does that leave someone like me? If you are an emotionally healthy woman seek an emotionally healthy man. If you are not emotionally healthy you are better off staying single until you get your issues sorted out. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 You are welcome and if more men followe dmy advice they would be better off. The proof is in my own life. My own life is great and I feel I would be a good example to other men. Never take advice from people who can't run their own lives. Uh, Wog..hate to break it to you but I think he was being sarcastic. Oh and I didn't work out any issues before I met my H. I met him THREE DAYS after I left the ex. I was the SAME person...it's just that I was with the wrong man before. That simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 If you are an emotionally healthy woman seek an emotionally healthy man. If you are not emotionally healthy you are better off staying single until you get your issues sorted out. Do you seriously believe that YOU are emotionally healthy? Quite obviously you aren't or you wouldn't have a hatred for anyone. You clearly haven't worked through your issues with your mother, nor your ex wife, judging by pretty much everything you have posted on here. So how do you have the right to be in a relationship despite your obvious issues, but others don't? Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Uh, Wog..hate to break it to you but I think he was being sarcastic. Oh and I didn't work out any issues before I met my H. I met him THREE DAYS after I left the ex. I was the SAME person...it's just that I was with the wrong man before. That simple.No I wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 No I wasn't. Well how is anyone meant to know what you mean when you are so random? I still have a crush on you Link to post Share on other sites
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