Boyfriend keeps old love letters from all his ex-girlfriends - is this normal?

[flowergrl]

[COLOR=black][COLOR=black]I really need some help and advice! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We're both 28, and we moved in together a few months ago. [/COLOR]

 

[COLOR=black]First I’ll start with the positive. My boyfriend has a lot of great qualities that I have never seen encompassed in one man before. We have a lot in common, he’s kind and never yells, he’s very attractive and we have great chemistry, he’s hardworking, has a good sense of humour, displays random (well planned out) romantic gestures, and we have a lot of fun together.[/COLOR]

 

[COLOR=black]Now the bad stuff…..when I was helping my boyfriend move his things into our new place, he pulled out a box and started reminiscing thru a box containing piles of pictures and other other memorabilia. I asked him what it was and if was stuff from all of his ex girlfriends (some since junior high!). [/COLOR]

 

[COLOR=black]I thought it was a bit strange, but didn't think much else until recently....I was putting some of his clothes away after doing the laundry one day and noticed a grocery bag totally full of notes in his drawer. We've been having some problems recently so my curiosity got the better of me and I opened the bag to see what this was all about. It was love letters and notes from all his old girl friends, from junior high, high school and onwards. There was also a shoe box next to the bag, and sure enough, it also contained more of these letters....there were literally hundreds of them, and this didn't even contain what was in that other box he was reminiscing thru before! [/COLOR]

 

[COLOR=black]Is this normal? [/COLOR]

 

[COLOR=black]I think it’s creepy and it bothers me that he still keeps these....he's always expressed to me how much he doesn't like cards or notes or anything (he says they are pointless), and doesn't keep any of the heartfelt cards or notes that I've given him. So why does he feel so emotionally attached to these and not to mine??? Some of these notes must be over 15 years old![/COLOR]

 

We've been having other problems that make me question how trustworthy he is, but I don't want to make this post longer than it already is. [/COLOR]

 

Can anyone offer some advice/insight?

[jerbear]

Nothing wrong with being a pack rat or keeping things. However not being consistent by keeping yours is another thing.

 

It is possible that he has an unhealthy attachment to the ex's and deep down inside something is going on. It maybe a "none of your business", but what was his prior relationships like? Does he still have a thing for some of them?

 

With him thinking of the past does not bode well for you. My hunch, he misses the past that the current lacks or something. It may require more time for him to open up.

[lilbo]

I went through this with my boyfriend about 5 years ago, we had been together for 2 years at that time. I found a bag that contained letters from some ex's and pictures and even a pair of underwear...that had a brown stain...

 

The reason I found out about this *bag* was because he accidently ripped a shirt of mine and decided he's give me his ex girlfriends shirt he had cause it was the same color LMFAO. well I demanded he get rid of ALL of it. He isnt with them, he is with me. No reason to hold onto that crap.

 

Oh and others should know that ex he had the pictures and letters from tryed to ruin out relashionship about 5 or 6 times... so ya I had every right in demanding he destroy it.

 

Idk I personally find it weird that he has kept those things so long, I find it sad really, and I can see how it could hurt your feelings as I expierienced the same thing.

[Citizen Erased]

Major red flag IMO.