Gaining a girls trust back

[donchiro]

I am 20 years old and im in the military, i started seeing my girlfriend right before i left for the military and i never thought i was going to see her again but then i found out she decided to wait for me which made going through basic all the better i couldnt beleive it and i was so happy because she was different from alot of other girls and shes beautiful, well then i got to tech school and wed talk on the phone every night for like 3-4 hours even if it meant i wasnt going to get some sleep it just ment so much and it was like no other talking on the phone with her, well then i came home on leave and i realized i was madly in love with her and we spent every second together when i was home and it was the greatest thing ever, we talked about marraige and kids and i honestly could say i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her she was like no other. i also frogot to mention when i was in tech school she came down to see me for 2 weeks and it meant more to me than anything else. Well i definetly could say i could trust her. She knew she could trust me. Then i get up to my new base and we have plans for her coming out every couple months and me going home whenever i could and in maybe 2 years of being together getting married. Now its really hard having a long distance relationship and ive always been against it but i thought i took a chance and it worked out so well which means alot to me, also during this whole thing her friends kept saying how theyve never seen her so happy and they loved how i treated her and all wanted us to make it, im not one for realationships ether because ive been cheated on by the one i thought i loved before and and i gave her a second chance and she didnt even try to prove she loved me or trusted me or anything, but were also at a young age. i havent had a serious girlfriend and six years. well ive been at minot about a month and ive done things to help out my girlfriend that i never done before like pay cell phone bills, buy plane tickets, just anything i could think of to help her out. She says she has never loved anyone before. Well this past weekend i basically screwed up, i got drunk and made out with a girl but then came to my senses and stopped but i knew right away i had to tell her because i told her once i would tell her everything, well i did and she said she loves me but shes really really hurt, and i know i need to give her time. Ive never cheated on anyone, and the thing that hurts the most i dont even know how she feels. I know i ****ed up i cant stop crying i cant eat, i cant sleep, and i have no motivation but im willing to do whatever it takes to gain her trust back, i cant live without her in my life, even if that means spending the rest of my life doing it, ive sent her emails, myspace comments, and text messages explaining how sorry i am and how much i really love her im sending her flowers every day and i even started writing letters every day telling her how i feel, but i dont know if its enuff could anyone give me advice please, ill do anything

[jj2007]

Keep doing what you are doing, you are on the right track.

 

It will all depend on how she can deal with the hurt and if she feels like she will be able to trust you again.

 

Good luck!

[flowergrl]

I really feel for you. I am sort of on the other side of where you are right now (I’m trying to learn to trust someone again), and it’s difficult, but what we have is worth trying to fix.

 

It must be so hard trying to fix this in a long distance relationship, I can’t imagine how difficult this is for both of you. And while what you did was wrong, I give you huge credit for being honest with her. That takes a lot of guts. You could’ve just lied and you didn’t, that’s very admirable. I think you are doing everything you can, just keep pouring your heart out to her. Keep being honest. It’s clear that you really love her and you obviously feel very badly for what you’ve done. It sounds like she really loves you too and that you guys have something really special. Hopefully she will also feel that it’s worth trying for, and then you both just need some time to heal and re-build that trust. This could even help to strengthen what you already have.

 

I think there’s real hope for you two. Best of luck!