I'm so mixed up

[denicat]

I need someone to talk to me, please. I'm so mixed up right now and need help. I haven't cheated on anyone. I've just ended a relationship and am moving out. That is not the problem. The problem is a new guy. I worked with this guy a couple years ago and we got along really well. We flirted a little bit then, but not much because he was married. He left and then returned 2 years later, in the middle of a divorce. We have been talking and emailing since April or May. We become friends, but have never been out together, just worked together. The friendship has become increasingly flirtatious over the last 6 weeks. Very flirtatious. He has asked for my phone number and sends me text messages. He asked for a picture of me. He tells me how gorgeous I am and what beautiful eyes I have then. Then he tells me he's conflicted and not sure if he's ready to be serious. I'm like "why are you talking about relationships and being serious? We don't even know each other. You could be a jerk outside of work. You just ended a marriage. I'm still living with my ex until I can move out. Let's be friends first and see what happens". So we agree on that, but the flirting continous which is fine by me. We talk about having a date once I'm all moved out. Last night at work he kept touching me and rubbing my side when no one was around. He said if we both got off work early we could go sit in the bed of his truck and watch the falling stars. Gee, that sounds romantic. Then tonight he sends me a text message and says he has something to tell me. He doesn't want me to be mad. He really likes me and likes the flirting and stuff but doesn't think we can have anything more. I ask him why and he tells me he's dating other people. I say Okay, so we can date, too. He says he has thought of that but thought he should let me know about the others. I'm like okay, fine. Why do you say you don't think we could have anything more? And he gives me some crap about working with me and what if we didn't work out. He's trying not to make the same mistakes he's made in the past. But can he still flirt with me a little at work or should he just leave me alone? There was a bunch more said, but basically what it comes down to is why would he act one way for so long and then all of a sudden tell me he's dating other people? I didn't figure he was probably sitting at home on his nights off waiting for me to be moved out into my own place. Why all the business about work? Why would he still want to flirt? Is this guy a crazy man? Should I tell him to just leave me alone? I told him that he should make a decision about whether or not it's worthwhile to date me and to let me know. Should I even bother with him?

[LucreziaBorgia]

I wouldn't bother. For whatever reason, he sees you as a person he likes to flirt with and toyed with the idea of hooking up with, but doesn't want an actual relationship with. Probably a good thing. I imagine that whoever he does end up with, will end up being cheated on. Consider it a bullet dodged, and move on.

[tinke]

run, run, run, he is letting you know that whatever flirting was taking place, has become awkward or he is no longer interested. he doesn't sound interested in a relationship...HEAR what he is saying..don't analyze it. run.

[Jonah]

Don't run, just walk. but keep an eye behind you for you may be the one he runs to when life gets tough.

[denicat]

Thanks guys. The dumb thing is, I know all those things. I just need to keep hearing them. I don't know why I would even be interested in him. He cheated on his first wife with his second. I also heard he cheated on his second wife although he denied it when I asked. Obviously this is not a person to be trusted. I'm sure I would end up the same way. He was the first guy that has shown me any attention in a while and I got caught up in it. It's just hard to deal with the emotions when it's 4am and you are alone.

[BlueEyedSarah]

You like the attention as you have not had it in a while like you said. But i think its best to not get the attention from this guy as he does not sound like a guy to trust to be faithful to you. Walk away from him, like others have said.

[norajane]

Thanks guys. The dumb thing is, I know all those things. I just need to keep hearing them. I don't know why I would even be interested in him. He cheated on his first wife with his second. I also heard he cheated on his second wife although he denied it when I asked. Obviously this is not a person to be trusted. I'm sure I would end up the same way. He was the first guy that has shown me any attention in a while and I got caught up in it. It's just hard to deal with the emotions when it's 4am and you are alone.

 

This divorcing man sounds like he'd be a kid in a candy store with women. NOT a good risk if you are actually looking for a real grown-up relationship with someone who can and will commit. If you're just looking for a shag, he's also not a good risk since you work together. Best to forget the whole thing. There are plenty of other men out there - you don't need him for anything unless you enjoy a casual, go-nowhere flirtation to make the day go by.

[Carbine]

First, the preamble:

 

I need someone to talk to me, please. I'm so mixed up right now and need help. I haven't cheated on anyone. I've just ended a relationship and am moving out. That is not the problem. The problem is a new guy. I worked with this guy a couple years ago and we got along really well. We flirted a little bit then, but not much because he was married. He left and then returned 2 years later, in the middle of a divorce. We have been talking and emailing since April or May. We become friends, but have never been out together, just worked together. The friendship has become increasingly flirtatious over the last 6 weeks. Very flirtatious. He has asked for my phone number and sends me text messages. He asked for a picture of me. He tells me how gorgeous I am and what beautiful eyes I have then. Then he tells me he's conflicted and not sure if he's ready to be serious. I'm like "why are you talking about relationships and being serious? We don't even know each other. You could be a jerk outside of work. You just ended a marriage. I'm still living with my ex until I can move out. Let's be friends first and see what happens". So we agree on that, but the flirting continous which is fine by me. We talk about having a date once I'm all moved out. Last night at work he kept touching me and rubbing my side when no one was around.

 

Then:

 

He said if we both got off work early we could go sit in the bed of his truck and watch the falling stars. Gee, that sounds romantic.

 

LMAO . I reckon you'll be fine .