coco_milkshake Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 I think I may have more than one addiction. Firstly, I am on the internet a lot, and I mean ALOT. Since I am not allowed out the house much, this is my only connection to the outside world. Its getting ridiculous now though. Ive tried everything. I even uninstalled msn and took out my internet wire but I didnt last very long. Secondly, ever since the flashbacks I had a couple of months ago (of my two cousins who molested me when I was younger), I havent had a decent night sleep. My mind goes into overdrive in bed and I cant block these thoughts out. I take painkillers during the day to numb myself and sleeping pills at night, though they do nothing for me. Thirdly, the cutting which has been going on for over a year. I dont know what I am going to do. All of these are unhealthy. I cant help but feel that I am going to die young. I cant cope, I seriously cant. My family is no help either cos they dont have a clue. I am too scared to tell them cos they are soo judgemental. I just want to curl up and die. :( Link to post Share on other sites
me123 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 In my opinion, addiction is not the drug....it may sound stupid because it is a fact that some drugs are more addictive than others, but i think addiction is a personal thing. You can get addicted to television, eating certain foods or even some other person...it doesnt have to be a substance. It sounds like you've had a hard life and I can relate...but from your thread, it doesnt seem so much an addiction as a release. You acknowledge that your actions are wrong, but it seems you feel trapped because you have not let your family know the actual situation. Is there even one person you feel close enough to to disclose? If not, even coming here is a step in the right direction. Its annonymous, unless you form bonds, and most of us can relate in some way or another. I know it may seem hopeless right now, but no matter how bad something is that happens to us in our lives, once we accept it and get over it, it shapes who we are....if you want to chat reply and i will gladly give you my msn or whatever. I feel you pain =( Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I think I may have more than one addiction. Firstly, I am on the internet a lot, and I mean ALOT. Since I am not allowed out the house much, this is my only connection to the outside world. Its getting ridiculous now though. Ive tried everything. I even uninstalled msn and took out my internet wire but I didnt last very long. Secondly, ever since the flashbacks I had a couple of months ago (of my two cousins who molested me when I was younger), I havent had a decent night sleep. My mind goes into overdrive in bed and I cant block these thoughts out. I take painkillers during the day to numb myself and sleeping pills at night, though they do nothing for me. Thirdly, the cutting which has been going on for over a year. I dont know what I am going to do. All of these are unhealthy. I cant help but feel that I am going to die young. I cant cope, I seriously cant. My family is no help either cos they dont have a clue. I am too scared to tell them cos they are soo judgemental. I just want to curl up and die. :( Yes, addictions frequently cross...Get to a meeting if you can...Doesn't matter which one as long as it's a 12 step mtg..AA,OA, etc...If you can't get out call your local crisis hot line...Some one has one...I'll be praying for you...You don't have to go through something like this alone... Link to post Share on other sites
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