Who is with MM and in LTR

[Cliche]

Lost,

I second norajane and say that being on your own may be your best idea ever.

 

I suspect you may also find that once you are on your own, a lot of your emotional wounds may start healing. That being said, I do understand how truly awful it is to take that final step where you have to rip your life apart to start it over again in a better way. It's not fun.

[lost4ever]

Well, he made it pretty damn easy to make my decision,

We came into town on Wed night (we had a great time), he paid a lot of attention to me and seemed happy to be around him, the next day I went to work, he went to some meetings, I got home (hotel) at 5:30, he got there at 5:40ish, said he had to work on his fantasy football stuff, 2 hours later (which everytime I tried to say something, start a conversation, he ignored me) his sister called, he talked to her for 20 mn, I started to get a little upset (he could tell) asked if I wanted to go see a movie, I said sure, he said meet you down stairs I have to check in, he was on the phone another 20 min, went to eat really quick, got to the movies, he said I'll meet you inside, I have to make a quick phone call, he came in 10 min later, so I started to complain about how he wasn't paying any attention to me, he said I'm sorry i shut off my phone, I said no Sh*t your in going to see a movie, you have to shut off your phone, watched movie, got to hotel, said he had some work to do, but it would be really quick, after about 10 min, I looked at his computer, and said your are not working on anything your checking e-mails, he shut off computer and said he didn't understand why i was mad, he didn't take that long, he fell asleep, next morning he said, can you take today off and hang out, no had a meeting at 10, but I can go in late, then he said, I just thought I would spend a little more time with you before I go (he was going to stay till Sat night) I asked where are you going, he said Oh, I'm going to hang out with a friend from college tonight, so I told him, Ok this is not fun no more, I'm done, he said..You say that all the time, I'll be back on Tuesday!! what an Ass, I'm soooo done

[Cobra_X30]

Well, he made it pretty damn easy to make my decision,

We came into town on Wed night (we had a great time), he paid a lot of attention to me and seemed happy to be around him, the next day I went to work, he went to some meetings, I got home (hotel) at 5:30, he got there at 5:40ish, said he had to work on his fantasy football stuff, 2 hours later (which everytime I tried to say something, start a conversation, he ignored me) his sister called, he talked to her for 20 mn, I started to get a little upset (he could tell) asked if I wanted to go see a movie, I said sure, he said meet you down stairs I have to check in, he was on the phone another 20 min, went to eat really quick, got to the movies, he said I'll meet you inside, I have to make a quick phone call, he came in 10 min later, so I started to complain about how he wasn't paying any attention to me, he said I'm sorry i shut off my phone, I said no Sh*t your in going to see a movie, you have to shut off your phone, watched movie, got to hotel, said he had some work to do, but it would be really quick, after about 10 min, I looked at his computer, and said your are not working on anything your checking e-mails, he shut off computer and said he didn't understand why i was mad, he didn't take that long, he fell asleep, next morning he said, can you take today off and hang out, no had a meeting at 10, but I can go in late, then he said, I just thought I would spend a little more time with you before I go (he was going to stay till Sat night) I asked where are you going, he said Oh, I'm going to hang out with a friend from college tonight, so I told him, Ok this is not fun no more, I'm done, he said..You say that all the time, I'll be back on Tuesday!! what an Ass, I'm soooo done

 

OMG... I thought this guy was some kind of smooth player type. What a retard... unless he really wants to push you into ditching him, which I doubt.

 

LOL... maybe I should start a thread on "How to know when your guy is just a jerk!"...

 

I got a pair of size 16 cowboy boots I can loan you!... they work great when your kicking somebody to the curb

[lost4ever]

Yeah, this guy is so not the smooth player type, I think by me liking him his ego got bigger than his Head (Stupid dumb jerk off) Can't even post all the other dumb *ss other stuff he did! So anyways he calls me Friday at 2:30, I pick up the phone say hi, little chatter he says, well I can see you don't want to talk to me, that doesn't make me feel to good...let me repeat he is such a stupid dumb jerk off, (does he think I felt good when he ignored me, or maybe I was asking to much, I mean were do I get off wanting 8 hours of his undivided attention, it only takes 20 min for him to get off how dare I) so I woke up Saturday (he is still in my state, goes home on Sunday) decided I would go to the day spa and really look hot so when I tell him to kiss my *ss on Sunday it will be with the oh and eat your heart out, but the salon totally messed up my hair, guess I'm going NC, did I mention he is a stupid dumb jerk off? Not like I needed to do the whole eat your heart out thing anyways, the guy is the biggest gump to ever walk the face of the earth, he's semi-old (10 years older than me), fat, and out of shape. I feel in love with his brilliant mind, however that is before I knew, that his mind is a total mess just like the rest of him! Dammit! Stupid advice columns always say give your man compliments and make him think he is the greatest (I so over did that one) We went to eat on Friday night, and as we are walking in (small hick town area) he says, wow it sure isn't hard to be the beautiful people around here...I felt like telling him, Well then I assume we will stay in this area so you at least you can feel sub-par in the looks department! ohter comments I had to hear during the two days... I told him I was going to get porcelain veneers, he says, why your teeth aren't bad, I would get new breast before then (stupid, dumb *ss jerk off), Told him I started school next week for MBA, he says, you don't need it everyone loves you at work because they think they can get some not because you're smart...I HATE HIM!!! Then to make things worse, when I get home, my stbx (who by the way is sooo hot, nice, funny) has flowers and a card waiting for me, with a note that says, I am so sorry I couldn't be the husband you wanted..I guess it's harder then I thought to keep the prettiest, smartest girl in the world! seriously checking myself into a mental institution....

[Darth Vader]

Just think, you ruined your marrige and husband to have hot orgasmic sex with this OM, and have continued to do so, then hubby pulls this..... How is he doing? Hows the divorce coming?

[lost4ever]

My husband for the most part is doing fine, he still has a wide range of emotions, which I understand, The divorce is also coming along (he fights it a lot) but that is a differnt post for a different day. I understand what I did to my marriage and to my Husband, and though I am still trying to figure out why I did it, please give me some credit for owning up to everything with my H, finally letting go of the EMA and being strong enough to know that my H deserves better than I can give him and letting him go. I can't change what I did in the past, I can only own up to my mistakes, try to heal the hurt I caused to others and learn not to make the same mistakes again.

[RealityCheck]

Just think, you ruined your marrige and husband to have hot orgasmic sex with this OM, and have continued to do so, then hubby pulls this..... How is he doing? Hows the divorce coming?

 

Nice!

So you know both parties really well in the M. A little harsh to point a finger at "one".

[Darth Vader]

Nice!

So you know both parties really well in the M. A little harsh to point a finger at "one".

 

 

Please! As you know, or at least most people anyway know, there is no reason, or excuse to cheat, none!

[Darth Vader]

My husband for the most part is doing fine, he still has a wide range of emotions, which I understand, The divorce is also coming along (he fights it a lot) but that is a differnt post for a different day. I understand what I did to my marriage and to my Husband, and though I am still trying to figure out why I did it, please give me some credit for owning up to everything with my H, finally letting go of the EMA and being strong enough to know that my H deserves better than I can give him and letting him go. I can't change what I did in the past, I can only own up to my mistakes, try to heal the hurt I caused to others and learn not to make the same mistakes again.

 

 

Oh it's good you came clean alright. However, somehow by reading some of the posts here on this thread, it sounds like you and OM are still Banging each other, of course I could be misreading, but, the thing that gets me is that you're letting him in your hotel room? I know, not that that really matters now, but what I'm saying is, by your husband trying to woo you with flowers and stuff, your husband doesn't realize that you and OM are still having sex(assuming that you are, but not definate), by allowing him to keep doing that while you're having sex with OM, it looks like you're leading your husband on. Example/s: giving him false hope/s of you two possibly getting back together, reacting to his attempts to woo you, and allowing him to continue this. If you are still sleeping with your OM, then you have to tell your husband about it, that way then, he would get the picture, be advised though, he may/will be very angry, hurt, etc., if anything, tell him with someone else you both can trust to be there with you both.

 

I don't know if you have heard that BS's go through nearly the same grieving process from being cheated on as when a loved one dies. From what I've read, it looks to me like he's going through the stage of bargining, I'm not fully aware of all the steps to this grieving process, but that's what it looks like to me. You also have to remember that he has a whole lot of stuff that he is still trying to process, also remember men are slower than women when processing emotion! Especially in a traumatic situation like this. I suggest IC for both you and your husband, for you, to find out why you cheated, for your husband, to try to pick up the pieces of his life and move on! He also has major self esteem and/or self worth issues because of this, this has to be overcome on his part, he has a looong way to go!

[Darth Vader]

Oh, there's something I forgot to cover, that phone call and/or those e-mail messages may be from other women he's sleeping with! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you! Make no mistake about that!

[Cobra_X30]

Yeah, this guy is so not the smooth player type, I think by me liking him his ego got bigger than his Head (Stupid dumb jerk off) Can't even post all the other dumb *ss other stuff he did! So anyways he calls me Friday at 2:30, I pick up the phone say hi, little chatter he says, well I can see you don't want to talk to me, that doesn't make me feel to good...let me repeat he is such a stupid dumb jerk off, (does he think I felt good when he ignored me, or maybe I was asking to much, I mean were do I get off wanting 8 hours of his undivided attention, it only takes 20 min for him to get off how dare I) so I woke up Saturday (he is still in my state, goes home on Sunday) decided I would go to the day spa and really look hot so when I tell him to kiss my *ss on Sunday it will be with the oh and eat your heart out, but the salon totally messed up my hair, guess I'm going NC, did I mention he is a stupid dumb jerk off? Not like I needed to do the whole eat your heart out thing anyways, the guy is the biggest gump to ever walk the face of the earth, he's semi-old (10 years older than me), fat, and out of shape. I feel in love with his brilliant mind, however that is before I knew, that his mind is a total mess just like the rest of him! Dammit! Stupid advice columns always say give your man compliments and make him think he is the greatest (I so over did that one) We went to eat on Friday night, and as we are walking in (small hick town area) he says, wow it sure isn't hard to be the beautiful people around here...I felt like telling him, Well then I assume we will stay in this area so you at least you can feel sub-par in the looks department! ohter comments I had to hear during the two days... I told him I was going to get porcelain veneers, he says, why your teeth aren't bad, I would get new breast before then (stupid, dumb *ss jerk off), Told him I started school next week for MBA, he says, you don't need it everyone loves you at work because they think they can get some not because you're smart...I HATE HIM!!! Then to make things worse, when I get home, my stbx (who by the way is sooo hot, nice, funny) has flowers and a card waiting for me, with a note that says, I am so sorry I couldn't be the husband you wanted..I guess it's harder then I thought to keep the prettiest, smartest girl in the world! seriously checking myself into a mental institution....

 

20 min? I thought you said this guy was good?

 

Yeah, so NC is going to shred this guys ego! Your the fuel thats put his ego hot air balloon into the upper atmosphere. Oh, and I wouldnt worry too much about looking extra hot. I think waking up in the morning and strutting in wearing a parka would work for eat your heart out.

 

You fell in love with his mind? I can't remember the last time I even met a girl that liked my genius. The last one told me I made her feel dumb...??? Before that this girl called me an idiot savant... thats right an idiot savant! Yeah... so what if I cant remember where I parked my car?... LOL. Anyway, I believe that there are many different types of brilliance.

 

I justed dropped 5g's on veneers and trust me, its worth every penny. So, its just like you said, dude is just a jerkoff. He is trying to controll you by dragging you down. Its a tactic called leveling. He doesnt like himself, so he responds by pulling you down to his level, cause if your at his level, he has some control. You break the control... you break him!

 

Your stbx needs to let go... you should really try to facilitate that for him. I think he is kind of in that "I only want what I cant have" mental mode, otherwise he would have already hit that anger stage... possibly moved past, on his way to full recovery.

 

Overall point... Your making a really good move getting rid of the 20min man... . I guarantee, you WILL find better! C'mon your an awesome catch.

[Darth Vader]

20 min?..............

I thought that was mindblow, mindbending sex? In 20 minutes? Ain't no way!

[Darth Vader]

Ok Cobra, quit trying to pick up the lady!

[Cobra_X30]

Ok Cobra, quit trying to pick up the lady!

 

Of course you realize this statement can be taken two ways?

 

LOL... Vader... I know there is still some good left in you!

[lost4ever]

Ok so it's not just 20min, but come on I'm pissed!

 

Darth after your column, I decided your right I'm an evil, evil person, I will go jump off a bridge now.

 

What the hell do you want me to do? I honestly believe I made a mistake, I am sorry. Nobody deserved the pain that was caused (and I am getting the blunt of it, trust me), and know that is not a pity plea I am so over the oh I should feel bad for what I did to everbody bull, You can not hurt me with your words anymore! (well they will still hurt, I'll just lie, and we all know I am good at that, don't we)

 

Cobra,

I am puting the rims on order today (really shiny ones, they go round and round) <think I might have a crush>

and for the mind love, it takes a special kind of girl to love someones mind, very special kind of girl......

[Cobra_X30]

Ok so it's not just 20min, but come on I'm pissed!

 

Nice cover!

 

Cobra,

I am puting the rims on order today (really shiny ones, they go round and round) <think I might have a crush>

and for the mind love, it takes a special kind of girl to love someones mind, very special kind of girl......

 

Sweet! Im going to go buy a 2 tone 88' camaro and a mullet wig! Those rims and I are going to have sum fun.

 

LOL... "special" kind of girl? I'm just going to pretend I dont see the insult in that, and take it face value.

 

Well, it just so happens that there is this short bus that stops not too far from my house... I suppose it may be better than the bar scene.

[Darth Vader]

Of course you realize this statement can be taken two ways?

 

LOL... Vader... I know there is still some good left in you!

 

 

What me? Have good in me, nah!NEVER!

[Darth Vader]

Ok so it's not just 20min, but come on I'm pissed!

 

Darth after your column, I decided your right I'm an evil, evil person, I will go jump off a bridge now.

 

What the hell do you want me to do? I honestly believe I made a mistake, I am sorry. Nobody deserved the pain that was caused (and I am getting the blunt of it, trust me), and know that is not a pity plea I am so over the oh I should feel bad for what I did to everbody bull, You can not hurt me with your words anymore! (well they will still hurt, I'll just lie, and we all know I am good at that, don't we)

 

Cobra,

I am puting the rims on order today (really shiny ones, they go round and round) <think I might have a crush>

and for the mind love, it takes a special kind of girl to love someones mind, very special kind of girl......

 

 

I never told you to go jump off a bridge! Or that you're evil evil!

Getting the blunt of it, if you don't mind me asking, how? I was trying to say IF, big IF here, IF you're still sleeping with your OM while living under your husbands roof, that's continuing to humiliate and disrepect your husband, who is trying to get you back! You need to tell your husband that you're still having sex with OM, IF that's what you're doing. I also have suggested IC, (individual counseling) for both you. When you do find out why you cheated, you should at least tell your stbx husband why you cheated. And believe me, just as a reminder, compared to your husband, when it really hits him, will be more harsh than we ever could be, perhaps like catagory 10! I'm not trying to make you feel bad, now I mean. Just trying to prepare you a little, get you ready, so when all Hell does break lose, you'll have a better Idea why.

 

Read dazed and confused's thread, that'll give you more of an Idea what your husband is going through, emotions, loss of sleep, not eating, the whole nine. It's a loooong read, but, it's well worth it. He just recently posted an update how he's doing, but read the First Thread, I think it's called : wife made a stupid mistake, or something like that.

[Darth Vader]

Nice cover!

 

Cobra,

I am puting the rims on order today (really shiny ones, they go round and round) <think I might have a crush>

and for the mind love, it takes a special kind of girl to love someones mind, very special kind of girl......

 

Sweet! Im going to go buy a 2 tone 88' camaro and a mullet wig! Those rims and I are going to have sum fun.

 

LOL... "special" kind of girl? I'm just going to pretend I dont see the insult in that, and take it face value.

 

Well, it just so happens that there is this short bus that stops not too far from my house... I suppose it may be better than the bar scene.

 

 

Cobra, what are you doing?

[lost4ever]

Getting the blunt of it, if you don't mind me asking, how?

Well, Darth I have feelings, and it hurts very much that I am the cause of the pain to my husband, that is how I'm getting the blunt of it. and I was getting treated like crap from MM, and I am the one at fault for all bad things that are going on becuase of this, my H and I where at his family event a couple of weekends ago and he says to his 6y/o niece go see aunt lost, then he looks at me, then her and says, oh wait thats not your aunt lost; its just lost, she is not your aunt anymore. now to you this may not sound like anything close to as painful as what I did to him, but it is, trust me it is.

 

while living under your husbands roof,

FYI; I am living under OUR roof, it is also mine, I do not depend on my husband for shelter. that is like saying I live on my husbands planet, no

 

When you do find out why you cheated, you should at least tell your stbx husband why you cheated. And believe me, just as a reminder, compared to your husband, when it really hits him, will be more harsh than we ever could be, perhaps like catagory 10!

 

in all honesty, if and when I find out why I cheated I wil let you know. I know why I selpt with OM the first time (though not a good reason, I know why) I have not figured out why I let it go on, I told my H that I believe I was done with this realationship, to no fault of his, I told him that I was being weak and he made it easy to come home and try to "deal with" something I didn't like instead of facing the unknown and countinuing my life without him.

 

(BTW) sorry if this sounds b*tchy, I'm just being defensive, I really do like to hear your advice.

[Darth Vader]

Getting the blunt of it, if you don't mind me asking, how?

Well, Darth I have feelings, and it hurts very much that I am the cause of the pain to my husband, that is how I'm getting the blunt of it. and I was getting treated like crap from MM, and I am the one at fault for all bad things that are going on becuase of this, my H and I where at his family event a couple of weekends ago and he says to his 6y/o niece go see aunt lost, then he looks at me, then her and says, oh wait thats not your aunt lost; its just lost, she is not your aunt anymore. now to you this may not sound like anything close to as painful as what I did to him, but it is, trust me it is.

 

while living under your husbands roof,

FYI; I am living under OUR roof, it is also mine, I do not depend on my husband for shelter. that is like saying I live on my husbands planet, no

 

When you do find out why you cheated, you should at least tell your stbx husband why you cheated. And believe me, just as a reminder, compared to your husband, when it really hits him, will be more harsh than we ever could be, perhaps like catagory 10!

 

in all honesty, if and when I find out why I cheated I wil let you know. I know why I selpt with OM the first time (though not a good reason, I know why) I have not figured out why I let it go on, I told my H that I believe I was done with this realationship, to no fault of his, I told him that I was being weak and he made it easy to come home and try to "deal with" something I didn't like instead of facing the unknown and countinuing my life without him.

 

(BTW) sorry if this sounds b*tchy, I'm just being defensive, I really do like to hear your advice.

 

 

I almost find that odd, I mean, that someone would like to hear my advice, yes I am harsh, very harsh at times, but, it's to give a person a good look at what they've been doing, to look at themselves, damage caused, etc.

 

About the things that your stbx husband is saying, that's not good at all, sounds like he's trying to get revenge against you by badmouthing you(verbal abuse). I don't know if this has been going on before the A, or only started after the A, so far you haven't said yet.

 

I could argue about the roof thing, but, that's another subject for another time............

 

Is your stbx husband still pursuing you? That's why I was saying, if you and OM are still, well you know............ To inform your husband that you haven't stopped seeing OM, to show your husband that it is over. Now I'm not saying for you to see the OM to get your husband away from you, no, don't do that, that's very low. Is this making any sense? I hope it does, I just got off from work, (Ruling the Empire) so you can only imagine. A dozen stormtroopers can't change a light bulb!

 

Have you checked out the Thread I suggested?

 

Oh, and lastly, beware of Cobras hitting on ladies on the rebound, or something! Sorry Cobra, gotta give her a fair warning! Not even I would hit on a lady on the rebound, well..... She'd have to look really really good!

[Cobra_X30]

Oh, and lastly, beware of Cobras hitting on ladies on the rebound, or something! Sorry Cobra, gotta give her a fair warning! Not even I would hit on a lady on the rebound, well..... She'd have to look really really good!

 

Vader, have I ever told you how pretty your helmet looks? All dark and shiney? Maybe we should go out and get drinks sometime! ... LOL

 

Oh, yeah... I kind of hit on everyone. Sorry, its a personality disorder. Im currently in couseling to get it fixed! So, you've both been warned!

[lost4ever]

You are harsh, I don't dispute that, however I like to see different view points. I don't know if I see my H comments as verbal abuse, now or in the past, yes he says things that hurt, while in IC, they told me I am just very insecure and take things harder than I should. One thing I do want to stay away from is making it seem like my husband did anything to 'make" me do this, b/c he did not, I did it. it was my mistake. And my husband pursuing me, I don't know what he is doing we have agreed that this M will not work, no matter what, my H was a spaz before i had an A, he would never let me go on the computer, i couldn't go to school, If he had to go away for work or the weekend he would call my mom and tell her to come get me and have me stay there the whole time, so she could keep an eye on her, I can't even imagine what I would have to go through if I tried to GAIN BACK his trust, when I never had it before. Even now that we are going through a divorce he will not let me go on the computer, (we'll he gets mad and stands right behind me until I log off) I tell him stop and he he gets mad, When we went to MC, before the A they told him he had to give me an hour everyday when he didn't follow me around the house, he never did, and when I would remind him, he would get mad. I have my money deposited into the bank everyweek, he changed the passwords and cards and gives me an allowance, so that I can't go get an apartment, because we don't have the money. then I come home and he buys flowers and writes cards, (ok way off subject) my MM and I are not together anymore, I ended it, he still calls sometimes, and we still see eachother sometimes for work things, I'm afraid to go anywhere and I don't like when MM calls me on my phone, my H will kill him if I get caught with his number in my phone, of course MM has this crazy idea that my H can't hurt him, but he can, my husband played college football and is in really great shape, my mm, though well over 6 foot would not have a chance in hell, but male pride, what can you do.The thread I have not got to, I don't know how to look up threads, when I do the search it says something about it having to be 6 words or more??? it's all messed up!As for cobra, It is fun to flirt a little, no harm, no foul, but I don't think you have to worry about him, he is not liking my opinions too much on another thread, and besides he seems like he talks like that too all the girls, trust me I'm not that screwed up too fall for an internet chat buddy (famous last words, right??)now on the fun noteSorry Cobra, gotta give her a fair warning! Not even I would hit on a lady on the rebound, well..... She'd have to look really really good!..... ( I look really really really good, fair warning!)

[Cobra_X30]

Dazed is seriously my personal hero! Here is a link to his story.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40398/

 

Oh, and cut me some slack here... Im kind of on the rebound too!

[lost4ever]

Dazed is seriously my personal hero! Here is a link to his story.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40398/

 

Oh, and cut me some slack here... Im kind of on the rebound too!

 

Cobra, you don't even know it i'm spending more time on you tonight then I have on any man in awhile (between reading this post, and flipp'in google tribes that secured the bloodline through marraige) Thanks for the link!!