Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Cobra, you don't even know it i'm spending more time on you tonight then I have on any man in awhile (between reading this post, and flipp'in google tribes that secured the bloodline through marraige) Thanks for the link!! Just dont let it get out of control!.... Besides, Ive never... ever seen Vader apologize to someone before, and if you dont think that was an apology... you dont know Vader! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 Sorry I don't think I am ready, I read the first post and all I hear is, yeah I'm sure he got suspcious when she started having the affair (no, he was a stalker from the begining. No this guy is my husband to the tee, you are only hearing his side!! I am sure he pulled this sh*t a hundred times, looking over phone bills, following her, she just didn't do anything wrong the other 1000000000000 times before, so he left that out! I know I was/am my husbands world, this whole story was ours from having nothing to being very well off.The getting her another job, my husband did that (I was in the military in a mostly male dominated service, he told me he didn't want me to be around all those guys all the time, that I would be happier in an office)((now of course I am in love and thinking he has my best intrest in mind, but no HIS)) and then in my new job when I did really well and they wanted to pay for me to get my MBA so I could get promoted he refused to let me go to school because I would find another man, I can go on and on, but I still don't feel right bashing him. I know I was/am my husbands "world" but for christ sakes I can't breath!! we had been to MC, IC every flipp'in C you can think of, I was done! done! he is a great man, he is loving and commited, and hot, and fun, and I have told him many times, I am not the girl he wants, he wants a girl that will have 5 kids (five kids, when he married me he knew I never wanted kids) he said in MC, oh come on I thought she would change her mind---i didn't and I don't need to hear how I will never find a man that loves me as much as he does, and how he has done everything to make me happy and that I don't love him because I will not have his baby...he said this at least once a week in a hysterical crying rage!!!! OK done, sorry I can't read that post Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 The reason Dazed's post is the most read thread on LS... is because we put ourselves into the story. We are from the same place... so yeah. He made it work with his wife... I always wished my dad had tried, so thats how I see myself in the story. I dont think he was like your H. There may be some similarities... but I know both types, I think Dazed just got neglectful. Listen, I followed your thread because your approach was so radically different. You admitted the mistake, and wanted to end it, and make amends. In my opinion you had an exit affair. Now, you have to put the pieces back together, realize that not all the guys in the world are jerks or retards (only 90%). You really have a bright future... you just cant lose hope! Good luck with your MBA by the way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 Thanks for wishing me luck with MBA...I am really excited, anyways...... I didn't mean to make my husband look aweful, he truly is not a bad guy he would do anything for me and my happiness, I know it is rare to find a man like my H he will make someone a very happy women I have no doubts about it, and I don't know if it is the right thing to do but I tell him that all the time. I think I may have picked my MM because he was nothing like my H, my H is the guy that everyone loves, my MM everyone hates, my H is the one all the girls go crazy for, my MM they wouldn't touch him if he was the last man in the tribe, and I could go on and on, maybe I did do this as a way out, maybe I picked my MM because I knew he wouldn't put me on the top of the world like my H did, maybe I had an affair thinking that this would finally make my H see I am not all that great and let me go! Or maybe I did it all because I was drunk??You know Darth, you seem to have a way of getting me all fired up before bed, and then I don't hear your advice for like 24 hours (is this your way of making me dream about you, some Jedi mind trick??) Link to post Share on other sites
Love4Eternity Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 wow it seems like you are his 2nd wife. he must really value your imput though so i guess its a good thing in a way...I do ask my mm for advice from time to time and I appreciate it, even if i do not agree with him all the time... maybe you should set some ground rules for him tell him what you want from this relationship and what you do not want so he doesnt cross the bounderies and treat you any different from how you want to be treated... One of the things i love about my relationship with my mm is that i get away from the whole bs of my marriage for a short amount of time and when i am with him i can be me i can be free and i can say anything without getting jumped on or i can feel how i want without being judged and i dont have to do anything for him except for be me... Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Just dont let it get out of control!.... Besides, Ive never... ever seen Vader apologize to someone before, and if you dont think that was an apology... you dont know Vader! Me? Apologize? NEVER!!!!!!!! By the way Cobra, don't even think about hitting on me!!!! I have a lightsaber that says otherwise, once I get this thing fixed! Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Thanks for wishing me luck with MBA...I am really excited, anyways...... I didn't mean to make my husband look aweful, he truly is not a bad guy he would do anything for me and my happiness, I know it is rare to find a man like my H he will make someone a very happy women I have no doubts about it, and I don't know if it is the right thing to do but I tell him that all the time. I think I may have picked my MM because he was nothing like my H, my H is the guy that everyone loves, my MM everyone hates, my H is the one all the girls go crazy for, my MM they wouldn't touch him if he was the last man in the tribe, and I could go on and on, maybe I did do this as a way out, maybe I picked my MM because I knew he wouldn't put me on the top of the world like my H did, maybe I had an affair thinking that this would finally make my H see I am not all that great and let me go! Or maybe I did it all because I was drunk??You know Darth, you seem to have a way of getting me all fired up before bed, and then I don't hear your advice for like 24 hours (is this your way of making me dream about you, some Jedi mind trick??) YES! How did you guess? As far as you having an A with OM, it looks more and more like you had an A with OM in part because OM is typically known as "The Bad Boy"! Women will Bang a Bad Boy, and marry Good Boys! See my point? Women are attracted to Bad Boys because of the excitement of the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 You are harsh, I don't dispute that, however I like to see different view points. I don't know if I see my H comments as verbal abuse, now or in the past, yes he says things that hurt, while in IC, they told me I am just very insecure and take things harder than I should. One thing I do want to stay away from is making it seem like my husband did anything to 'make" me do this, b/c he did not, I did it. it was my mistake. And my husband pursuing me, I don't know what he is doing we have agreed that this M will not work, no matter what, my H was a spaz before i had an A, he would never let me go on the computer, i couldn't go to school, If he had to go away for work or the weekend he would call my mom and tell her to come get me and have me stay there the whole time, so she could keep an eye on her, I can't even imagine what I would have to go through if I tried to GAIN BACK his trust, when I never had it before. Even now that we are going through a divorce he will not let me go on the computer, (we'll he gets mad and stands right behind me until I log off) I tell him stop and he he gets mad, When we went to MC, before the A they told him he had to give me an hour everyday when he didn't follow me around the house, he never did, and when I would remind him, he would get mad. I have my money deposited into the bank everyweek, he changed the passwords and cards and gives me an allowance, so that I can't go get an apartment, because we don't have the money. then I come home and he buys flowers and writes cards, (ok way off subject) my MM and I are not together anymore, I ended it, he still calls sometimes, and we still see eachother sometimes for work things, I'm afraid to go anywhere and I don't like when MM calls me on my phone, my H will kill him if I get caught with his number in my phone, of course MM has this crazy idea that my H can't hurt him, but he can, my husband played college football and is in really great shape, my mm, though well over 6 foot would not have a chance in hell, but male pride, what can you do.The thread I have not got to, I don't know how to look up threads, when I do the search it says something about it having to be 6 words or more??? it's all messed up!As for cobra, It is fun to flirt a little, no harm, no foul, but I don't think you have to worry about him, he is not liking my opinions too much on another thread, and besides he seems like he talks like that too all the girls, trust me I'm not that screwed up too fall for an internet chat buddy (famous last words, right??)now on the fun noteSorry Cobra, gotta give her a fair warning! Not even I would hit on a lady on the rebound, well..... She'd have to look really really good!..... ( I look really really really good, fair warning!) It sounds as though he has major contol issues, perhaps because you're so hot, from what you tell us. He knows you could have almost any man! He needs to get counseling, and/or Therepy, to overcome this. Has your husband saying mean things to you before the A, after the A, or the whole time? Has he been reading these threads you have typed? Does he know about this site? If he does, it would be good to get his version of things. Men typically are very territoral, even posessive, but, there are extremes too. Your OM, or ex-OM, doesn't think he'll ever have to face the consequences of his actions, he probably never has, henceforth, the reason (in part) I wanted you to let your husband contact OM's wife, another part is, it doesn't look like you're defending OM (favoring OM over your husband), protecting him when he has just as much blame in this as you. OM probably never has had to own up to his mistakes before. How long has he been doing this to his wife, how many times, you and I probably will never know. Your husband probably would destroy OM, yes, but, men don't ussually go around hitting one another, except in cases like these, because you don't know what the other guy has, or doesn't have, bigger, stronger, faster, isn't always the best, you would be surprised, I have heard of little guys whipping up on BIG men, so never say never. Thanks Cobra for the link help. If you can't read the thread now, well, ok, I would read it at a later time though, but, you have to remember that thread is in a man's perpective! The way he sees things, as you know, he's not a woman, he sees differently, feels differently, acts differently. The way a man feels about a sexual affair verses an emotional affair differ, because men express love through sex, that's the only way they can convey it, the only way they can feel like they are loved. When a woman has a sexual affair, the husband can/does equate that as her giving her love to another man, instead of him (her husband). That's why in part, it's so devastating to a man when it happens to him, his heart is crashed, ripped out, mutilated to the core. That explains the extreme anger, obsession of the details, verbal insults, and hatred that follows the revelation of such an affair. As far as you looking really really really good, Yikes! I'd better watch my step, I don't want you to try to come after me! 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