luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Actually, I think what James M said was he also agreed with us in the definition of "betrayed spouse." He just explained to us what your version was. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Yeah your facts. They are not my facts. Well good because you have no hope in hell to change my life so you are wise not to even attempt it. Though reading how insistent you are on all your posts directed at me I would beg to differ.... If I were trying to justify my situation it would imply that I am looking for your reassurance from you or anyone else to help me make a decision on my own life but in case you haven't noticed I have already made my decisions and I am living my life based on those choices. Get it? Actually, I thought I heard the fact that his family and friends are the ones who told you of his awful wife. Maybe I heard that from someone else, but those are not my facts. BTW, there is no hope in hell. And I am simply attempting to show you my perspective on what you have posted. I have not tried to change you. My apologies if you think so. And yes, you have made your own choices...good for you. I guess this all started because the thread is called "A MM's perspective." Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I guess this all started because the thread is called "A MM's perspective." Yes, it did, and the poor guy, who was only outing himself for the sake of providing information to others, got bashed by a herd of OW's. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Yes, it did, and the poor guy, who was only outing himself for the sake of providing information to others, got bashed by a herd of OW's. :laugh: Thanks for the visual image! Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Actually, I think what James M said was he also agreed with us in the definition of "betrayed spouse." He just explained to us what your version was. Well maybe you should read my orginal comment and I am sure you will understand what I was trying to say. hopefully it won't take you two pages worth of posts to exlain what was said. I pretty much explianed it right away here: if my husband or boyfriend cheats on me I am out of there, so I refuse to be a betrayed spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 :laugh: Thanks for the visual image! :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: I wouldn't really say a herd... Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 :laugh: Thanks for the visual image! Any time James! You know, I really enjoy you. You have a way of responding to posts without letting people piss you off even when it's overwhelmingly clear that they're trying to. Would that I could take lessons on how to stay un-PO'd. lol Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: I wouldn't really say a herd... Man, the way a few of them were frothing and foaming, it SEEMED like a herd! Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Yes, it did, and the poor guy, who was only outing himself for the sake of providing information to others, got bashed by a herd of OW's. I don't know what you are so happy about when the very same guy who started this thread is the same guy who is assuring us that once a cheater always a cheater, he still lies to his W about the OW, he will never admit to her he loves the OW and still lies to his W to spare her her feelings and talks badly of the OW simply to make his W feel better when deep down he does not believe those things. He also said that he his wife wants to believe the lies so he continues the lies for her own sake. Guess you missed that little gem too? I would be more angry as a BS than an OW on what this brave man put on paper. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Well maybe you should read my orginal comment and I am sure you will understand what I was trying to say. hopefully it won't take you two pages worth of posts to exlain what was said. I pretty much explianed it right away here: But you would be a BS if it was your H because you were married at the time he betrayed you. I could understand if you said you wouldn't become a BS if your boyfriend cheated on you, which would be kind of clever. But, you would never know if the man you decide to marry will or will not be faithful. The only way you could completely avoid being a BS-with all certainty-is by never saying "I do." Ah, vulnerability. I used to struggle with that. Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 But you would be a BS if it was your H because you were married at the time he betrayed you. I could understand if you said you wouldn't become a BS if your boyfriend cheated on you, which would be kind of clever. But, you would never know if the man you decide to marry will or will not be faithful. The only way you could completely avoid being a BS-with all certainty-is by never saying "I do." Ah, vulnerability. I used to struggle with that. I've already explained it I am not explaining it again. You people sure love to argue nonsense don't you?? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 What some of you fail to understand is that the intention here is to get this thread deleted. Start a thread certain factions don't like and they will stop at nothing to get it removed. Arguing with them only helps them in their mission. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I suppose you didn't read the whole thread no why would you? It's easier to pipe in last minute and talk on half truths and deluded perceptions...that is the BS way isn't it? I didn't read that she agreed with everything she said, but I did read that the "poor guy" was not treated the way she felt he should be treated. As for being a cheater, if your boyfriend had posted on this Board while he had been married and talked about this wonderful woman he met, what kind of response do you think he would have received? Since Matt is till in the middle of indecision, it is much easier to judge him, but while both men have cheated, one chose his OW, while one is still in the middle of choosing his wife. He could still choose his OW yet, but either way, the same thing occurred....two mean cheated, two marriages were broken, and two vows of commitment were broken. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 What some of you fail to understand is that the intention here is to get this thread deleted. Start a thread certain factions don't like and they will stop at nothing to get it removed. Arguing with them only helps them in their mission. LMAOROTF :lmao: "Certain factions!" :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 What some of you fail to understand is that the intention here is to get this thread deleted. Start a thread certain factions don't like and they will stop at nothing to get it removed. Arguing with them only helps them in their mission. You are probably correct. I guess I am still giving a MM's perspective, but it is getting a bit argumentative in here. Hasta la vista. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I don't know what you are so happy about when the very same guy who started this thread is the same guy who is assuring us that once a cheater always a cheater, he still lies to his W about the OW, he will never admit to her he loves the OW and still lies to his W to spare her her feelings and talks badly of the OW simply to make his W feel better when deep down he does not believe those things. He also said that he his wife wants to believe the lies so he continues the lies for her own sake. He did say these things. However, JamesM has not.I respect him not only because he hasn't walked my path, but because he's a critical thinker. The OP does add another character and story to observe, though. As I said before, I wonder how the W would react if she read what he has written. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 and I'm not a BS. Typical. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 You're right people like Mattym should get all the praise in the world for his great courage. :laugh: I don't think that we are praising Matty as much as we appreciate his honesty. He is giving insight into what made him cheat, which could be valuable to all the OWs out there hanging on in a relationship with their MM. He started this thread knowing he was probably going to get bashed. And does it really matter if his situation doesn't fits yours? They are his words, take them for what they are. If they are relevant to you great....if not....whatever. I never understand why it gets so nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Matt, if you think your marriage is safe, read the following: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t137422/ BS can leave even years after the affair. They usually are in denial months or sometimes, years after the affair and eventually quit and leave. Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 The posts here in this thread remind me of a Seinfeld episode where Elaine and Jerry just talk over each other and neither one is listening to each other but they totally have a conversation anyway. Franky I find this bickerfest really tiresome, it's beyond me how some of you can do this day in day out the same thing every single day over and over again!?!? Anyway... I wanna look HOT for my honey tonight who gets back from his business trip in a few hours...so I am gonna cut out of work soon go for a massage and a facial, buy a sexy new number for him pick up a bottle of champagne and enjoy my weekend snuggled up by the fire place. Have fun talking over each other and have a nice weekend! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Franky I find this bickerfest really tiresome, it's beyond me how some of you can do this day in day out the same thing every single day over and over again!?!? The thing is, there wasn't much bickering going on, people were trying to ask questions and Matty was answering them. Seems you were hellbent on making sure only your voice was heard and you continually disrespected the OP, Matty. See, this is why many MM won't post. Most OW ask for respect, non-harshness to their threads, so I don't understand why you can't give this guy the same courtesy as you would anyone else. I don't understand your anger - You seem to have a good life now, so what does it matter what people say on a message board. Don't let stuff get to you! Have a good weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I gotta say, this is some good shxt. Even though I'm in pain from losing MM, I am valuing this info, especially coming from even a 2nd MM posting. I'm glad that even Matty posted, even though his callous attitude (albeit the truth) towards his OW makes me cringe. This is all good info!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 The thing is, there wasn't much bickering going on, people were trying to ask questions and Matty was answering them. Seems you were hellbent on making sure only your voice was heard and you continually disrespected the OP, Matty. See, this is why many MM won't post. Most OW ask for respect, non-harshness to their threads, so I don't understand why you can't give this guy the same courtesy as you would anyone else. I don't understand your anger - You seem to have a good life now, so what does it matter what people say on a message board. Don't let stuff get to you! Have a good weekend. Actually you're wrong, if you read all the pages that I was discussing things with Matt everything was fine we had a normal discussion exchanging points of views. But what I noticed here is that even more spited than an OW or cheater is an OW who actually ends up with the MM. That is the be all and end all of all evil. It was when people asked me about my b/f and my sex life and why i didn't think he was cheating on me and how my relationship was about sex and all that crap that it all took a personal turn. Before that it was fine. So if I was "trying to make my voice heard" it is because it was my voice that was being summoned to be heard, with the questions people were asking about my situation. If you felt that what I was doing was taking away from the thread and disprespectful to "Matt" why didn't you just report me to the authorities instead of contributing to the derailment? Because everyone loves a good bickerfest around here just as much as the next guy. It seems it's all people have left in their lives for a jab at excitement these days! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattym Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Matt, if you think your marriage is safe, read the following: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t137422/ BS can leave even years after the affair. They usually are in denial months or sometimes, years after the affair and eventually quit and leave. LOL, thanks for the encouragement! Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I gotta say, this is some good shxt. Even though I'm in pain from losing MM, I am valuing this info, especially coming from even a 2nd MM posting. I'm glad that even Matty posted, even though his callous attitude (albeit the truth) towards his OW makes me cringe. This is all good info!!! It is good info, and I'm glad you and many others are taking it in the spirit in which I feel it was intended. I hope you are doing better. I'm sure you've been through a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
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