Jim Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 I would be grateful if any women would reply with their thoughts to the below scenario Thanks A man who at 27 years old and has never had a relationship with a woman or had any intimate contact with a woman. Would this make you think differently about the man or would it not bother you Would you find this behaviour strange or not? Would this affect your decision on weather you would like to go out with him. It doesn’t bother me whether your view is good or bad – any replies appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Depends. Has this hypothetical men ever gone out on any dates? Has he ever had more than one date with a woman? Has he ever kissed a woman? Not even in high school? Would this make you think differently about the man or would it not bother you I would wonder why he had never had a relationship, yes. Would you find this behaviour strange or not? Yes, I would think it was strange. Would this affect your decision on weather you would like to go out with him. I would probably go out with him, but my proceed with caution flags would be on high alert. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Life and a wander through this forum has taught me that there are more things under the sun than one could ever imagine so judging people hastily is never wise. But as clia said, I'd want some answers because a 27 year old man that has never had a relationship may or may not be someone to avoid. If said 27 year old was a virgin, while being unusual would not necessarily be a problem. If said 27 year old man has never had ANY kind of relationship with a woman, my instincts would be to ask if he .... Had recently lost an extremely large amount of weight? Just got out of jail? Was struggling with questions about his sexuality Was very religious Had intimacy issues Had been abused as a child Was anti social Chronically shy ... or any number of other questions. There is nearly always a reason for all human behavior, usual or unusual, I'd want to know this person's story and I wouldn't judge him before I had. SO Would this make you think differently about the man or would it not bother you Yes, any information you glean about someone whilst getting to know them causes you to 'think differently about' them, if you mean think badly about them, not necessarily. Would you find this behaviour strange or not? Yes. Would this affect your decision on weather you would like to go out with him. It depends, not just on the reasons that he may or may not choose to share with me, but on what KIND of person this man was. Most people are looking for openness, kindness, a measure of maturity and a minimum of personal hygiene. It is most difficult to meet these standards and go 27 years without attracting some kind of attention from the opposite sex. So we come full circle - has said young man spent some time in any kind of secure establishment? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 I actually have a male friend who is 27 (maybe 28 now) years old, and a virgin. He's an incredible person...in fact, his mom just called me to check in on me bc I know his family as well. He's a great person, just incredibly shy. I actually respect him incredibly. I'm 24, myself, and it's hard to find a guy who hasn't been with like a million people already. So I find a guy like this very refreshing. Sex is important to a female, yes, but when you find one who thinks companionship is more important, then you win. But let me just give you this thought.... Why are you still a virgin? Are you afraid of intimacy? Do you realize that if you get married, your lifestyle will completely change and you'll have to try to reprogram yourself to enjoy the thought of sex, and have it frequently? Answer these questions to yourself, whatever you do. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Originally posted by Jim I would be grateful if any women would reply with their thoughts to the below scenario Thanks A man who at 27 years old and has never had a relationship with a woman or had any intimate contact with a woman. Would this make you think differently about the man or would it not bother you Wouldn't bother me -- everyone is different Would you find this behaviour strange or not? Repeat, everyone is different -- who is to say what is strange! Now, if he were a murderer or criminal - thats a different story. Would this affect your decision on weather you would like to go out with him. You don't get to know someone until you start dating and sharing. If I'm not concerned about previous dating experiences then it wouldn't affect my decision to date. However, if as suggested this person was kept from forming any relationships because of jail time or criminal activity - that would put a big fat greek kibosh on the whole deal! It doesn’t bother me whether your view is good or bad – any replies appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 [color=indigo] A man who at 27 years old and has never had a relationship with a woman or had any intimate contact with a woman. *Would this make you think differently about the man or would it not bother you* It would make me wonder WHY he had never been with anyone. It would defintely heighten the "caution" level of potential problems that may arise. *Would you find this behaviour strange or not?* Yes, I would find this behaviour strange, as it is not the norm. *Would this affect your decision on weather you would like to go out with him.* Yes, it would affect my decision completely because I would have to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. It would have to depend on the reasoning behind the "no contact with women" issue. It could turn out to not be a big deal, or it could be for a reason that wouldn't warrant a healthy relationship. I believe that we all need to make the mistakes in relationships as we are growing up so that when we find "the one", we know what mistakes NOT to make. Like with most things, practice makes perfect and the same applies to relationships. Mistakes are how we truly learn. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybug313 Posted April 6, 2003 Share Posted April 6, 2003 A man who at 27 years old and has never had a relationship with a woman or had any intimate contact with a woman. „h Would this make you think differently about the man or would it not bother you >>In general, it wouldn't bother me. BUT, it depends on what the person is like though. If he's nice, considerate, etc and all that, I would just think maybe he's extremely picky about his ladies, maybe he has had other priorities coming first, like his studies and just hasn't had time, I wouldn' t think anything bad at all. But if he acts very strange and shifty-eyed and all that weird stuff, then I'd worry. Oh, and if "my mother" comes into every sentence he says, I'm outta there faster than the speed of light. Believe me, I've been there and it's not pleasant. „h Would you find this behaviour strange or not? >>No I wouldn't find it strange except for things like the above examples given. „h Would this affect your decision on weather you would like to go out with him. >> No, if I think he's really cool but he hasn't had any relationships or intimate contact, it wouldn't bother me at all. As long as I like his company. Link to post Share on other sites
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