why get married????

[mzladee]

I'm not going to use the old "... if he loves you" line because I think people usually use the phrase when they don't fully understand the situation or people involved. He obviously has a reason for not making this an important issue. Some people will jump to the conclusion that he doesn't't really love you BUT you need to look at it from his point of view. He's asking the question "why"... why don't you ask "why not"? Maybe there's something that's preventing him from wanting to get married. Maybe not but it's always good to look at the other person's point of view.

 

If it's nothing bothering him and he just needs a reason... How about ... "because it would mean a lot to you"? Maybe you could just explain to him that it is very important to you and it would give a deeper meaning and love to your relationship You don't have to have a big wedding. If it's about commitment it could be short and to the point and you could celebrate with family a friends.

[Omelak]

I was wondering if I was the only one left with that question: Is marriage proof of everlasting love? My husband died of cancer on our 17th anniversary. I met a fella 10 years younger then me, let him move in, spent thousands of dollars on him, trusted him, and in the end, he's with the girl I thought he was attracted to, and I'm out money. Oh well, so sad...it was partly my fault, but I trusted him...anyways, I'm glad she's stuck with him and not me...Then I met another fella; knew him for 3 years and sold my place & moved in with him. I gave, and bought him whatever he desired. I pay $500. a month here plus other expenses, and I love him dearly. I asked him if he would want to get married? He says its just a piece of paper...So it is, then what's the problem? Guess my husband of 17 years was a find, and I think this one is too..but I think, does he love me, or what I'm wrapped in?

[rachaelmarie]

I must say one thing...I personally believe people should not have kids outside of marriage.

 

But, I do not think that people should just get married for the sake of having kids either. Too many people have kids just because they really want to, when in fact that they will be the worst parents in the world and should not be allowed by law to procreate. I mean, why bring a poor innocent life into your messed up world just because YOU want a child. You are treating them like a possession and a goal then, and not as a person who must be nutured and loved.

 

People have to get it out of their head that they want 2.5 kids, a trophy husband or wife, a whilte house with a picket fence, a new SUV every three years, etc. When in fact, they should worry about their mental and emotional health first and foremost before their dreams (this site proves that).

 

If people actually just learned to live their lives first (independently, that is), and try to discover who there are and rid themselve of any emotional issues before marriage or children, we would not have as many failed marriage and divorces in America. Also, people would not stay in bad relationships due to a glimpse of "hope" they may have for the loser they are with.

 

So...to answer the question why people should get married. AFTER a person has reached a level of emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental welness, they are to move on from that stage of live, and welcome another mentally sound individual in their life to spend it with them. Marriage just locks in this agreement to move on from one stage of life to another. Nothing is guarenteed that is not on paper. Do you own your car without the title? Do you have proof you graduated high school/college without showing that degree? Do you have proof you own a house without a deed? Then how can you proof a committed relationship without the marriage decree?

 

To me, living together instead of marriage is just a step or two above dating...nothing more, nothing less. It's just have a roomate and a boyfriend/girlfriend all in one, absolutely nothing more! The live in relationship holds no weight legally, and prevents any self-actualized person from taking that couple seriously.

[Lex]

Yes! Loose him.

 

I personaly am not really for marriage, it doesn't seem like people take it serious anymore. But, if I really loved someone, and felt as though they were the one, I would marry them if they wanted. Not because it is important to me, but because it is important to them. You sacrifice things for those you love. If he loved you as much as you loved him, he would at least try to see your point and not dismiss your feelings. It would be important to him because it is important to you. That's what love is about. It's hard when you realize you care for someone more then they care back. But you can't change their feelings. Leave before you get sucked in to a miserable existence.

[moimeme]

It's usually helpful to read the rest of the thread before you reply. If you check Post 20, Amorsiempre told us she left him. She wrote her original post in March.

 

If you want to discuss the general idea of marriage, that seems to be continuing.

[Jamie31]

I didn't read everyone's replies, but I am going to give you my view on it.

 

yeah, I guess these days marriage isn't a neccesity for spending the rest of your life with a person. But to me, I think that marriage is a TRUE committment. I think that it lets that other person know that they are TRULY the one and you want everyone else to know how much you love them by getting married. It's like you are standing from the Empire State Building and shouting "Listen Up, everyone - I LOVE THIS MAN!"

 

That's just how I see it. Not to mention the fact that if you ever want kids, marriage would be a good option. I just think it creates that much more of a bond with that person. I know it did with me and my husband.