Need some opinion, plz

[guest]

Hi guys!

 

I know that I can get some good advises from you guys, since that I got a lot of help from you guys in the past, and I'm really appreciated that.

 

"Life is not easy": TRUE!

 

Here is my story:

 

I have been dating this guy for about 3 months now but we only see each other on the weekend 'cause we live 45mins from eachother & he is always busy w/ his job in the hospital which is understandable, though. So on the weekend Friday or Saturday, I overnight at his place (we have been doing that for about 1 1/2 months now)

 

We met from online, and I found out that during the time we are on 'dating', he still goes online which I have noticed for awhile. Not only that, there was a weekend where I overnight at his place as usaul and early in the Sunday morning he drove mig home and I felt so sad & bad that day becuase we could have spend the Sunday together until after noon (he had to work from 4pm). It seems like that we are together for only one thing and in that moment he seemed so cold (he woke, turned on his computer and did his business for about 30 mins then he said: I’ll drive you home at 9am, is that ok). After that day I could feel that he might not really take me/our dating seriously because he seemed so cold, or is it just me(?) I felt so sad & bad/mad that I couldn’t allow myself to be w/ him the next weekend. Then I was w/ him this Saturday and I decided to talk to him about us because I didn’t want to analyze what he thinks about me/us.

 

I came to his place 1pm. We sat on the sofa and watched TV, then we began to kiss and we hot more hot but I stopped him and asked: “do you care for, maybe just a bit?” He said: “of course I care for you, not just a bit?

ME:”then why cann’t I feel it?”

HIM: “you cann’t, really? But I do care for you!”

ME:” do you know why, I didn’t come up to you last weekend ?”

HIM: “why?”

ME: “because I felt bad & sad last Saturday, I felt like we are together just for one thing”

HIM: “ really, I’m sorry?!”

ME: “You know me, I’m not that type of girl, last week I tried to analyze about us but it was so hard to do that. I just don’t want get hurt and I’m getting to care for you, so please just be honest to me ”

HIM: “ you are so cute……I don’t want to get hurt either”

ME: “ I just want to let you know & make things clear and I hope that you’ll be honest w/ me. Do you just want a causal relationship w/ me. I want to have a serious relationship, how about you?”

HIM: “what do you mean by serious because I’m not interested in getting marriage?!”

ME: “ of course not marriage, it’ll take time!”

It ended w/ an unclear answer from him but the stange thing is that after our conversation, he was so sweet & nice to me. Then he ordered delivery for our lunch, and after that we made out. Then he suggested to go sealing but when we were on our way to the beach the store but it was going to close in short and we couldn’t make it and went to the beach in stead. Then we went back to his place and watch TV, and we made out again. Then we laying on the bed and talked.

Then I asked him take three words to describe about himself (HIM: passionate, sensual & breakable –easy to hurt him (I think it was what he tried to define that word), the word start w/ a F but I cann’t remember the word) and I said three words describe about myself. In that moment him & I were so close to each other. Then he drove me home and we talked nicely again about us. I asked him: do you care for me, are you interested in a serious relationship or you just want to dating me (have a causal relationship).

And I told him that I’m too emotion to play the love games. I aksed him to be honest w/ me and however I will except it. I said that I just want to make it clear about us and I do not mean to make he feel bad or sorry for me (I asked him to not do that cause that is not what I need- I need the truth!) and neither want to give a pressure on him!

By the ending he didn’t give me a clear answer and again the stange thing is that he even more care for me and he even make sure that we’ll meet again, and he asked me that three times. Then he even call me 10 mins after he left my place (usaully I called him 10 mins. after he drop me of to say thank you). I called him back and he said: that its nice to talk about it and you/we should talk more about it!

 

Now after a long letter, I would like to know your guys ‘ opinion on my situation

 

Is he nice to me because he is a psychologist and understand me what I’m saying…and that it????

 

I’m so sad & confuse and the strange thing is that I feel even more close to him….so confuse and it makes me crazy ……please help me out!

 

SORRY FOR MAKE IT SO LONG BUT I’LL APPRECIATE YOU GUYS A LOT IF YOU COULD HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION, THANK YOU!

[Tony T]

I don't think he would have put that much energy into talking with you and being with you unless he was sincere.

 

However, the only way you will get a definite idea of exactly how he feels is to observe his behavior over the next weeks and months. In the meantime, it will be necessary for the two of you to talk often and exchange feelings.

 

I caution you not to smother him and act insecure. But you need to set the tone of the relationship so you will get what you want in terms of good feelings about the way things are going. If he doesn't continue to make you feel good in the relationship, then you need to think about moving on.

 

I'm very sorry but the question you ask here can only be answered by you over a period of time of observing him, the relationship and your feelings.

 

Good luck!

[guest]

but should I cuntinue w/ having a normal behavior when I'm w/ him and should I have a positive attitude, just enjoy the time w/ him or what should I do. Or should I be serious and try again to get an answer from?

 

Since that I feel so sad & hurt then I have the thought that he might seeing other girls as well.

 

Tony, I most admit that I sound insecure not I believe in some how I have my good reasons to.