Lauriebell82 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 marriage quizzes Hey everyone, this is not an immediate or important problem, more of an inquiry for people's opinions. Something that struck me as odd happened the other day. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year (our anniversary is in a few weeks). Anyway he said he found this quiz on cnn.com that we have to take. I asked what it was and he said it was sort of a "couple compatibility quiz." So I said ok. He kept bringing it up to take it a few days later. So finally we had some free time and we did. I went over to the computer and he got all weird and said to sit on the bed, and that he didn't want me to see the name of it. He then copied and pasted all the questions and printed them out in a word document. The quiz was a bunch of questions regarding opinions and plans on kids, marriage and all the issues that go along with it. I was a little surprised he wanted to take this because he is always sort of sketchy when it comes to talking about marriage and children. I figured it was because he wasn't ready. I actually went back to the website later when my boyfriend wasn't around, because I was curious about why he wouldn't show me to name. The quiz was called "questions to ask your fiance before you get married." Now, that was a little weird to me, because he sends me a lot of mixed messages regarding the whole marriage thing so I figured we weren't even close to engagement. Something else I found odd while discussing the quiz, was that he kept saying "if we get married," or "assuming we buy a house together someday." I guess I found that a little strange that he would say it so hypothetically or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I'm not in a hurry to get married guys, I need to finish school. We did discuss a timeline, late 20's to have children, meaning like 3-4 years. We agreed we would like to be married about 2 years before having children, so that would mean we would be married in like 2 years. Ok, the thing I don't understand is that he doesn't really talk about marriage in the context that he wants it to happen. He says it hypothetically and that is what is confusing me. I mean obviously he thought about it or else he wouldn't give me this quiz. Is this a guy thing that he doesn't say "when we get married" or "when we have children?" I don't get it. I'm NOT expecting a proposal, the soonest would probably be next year when I finish my masters degree. But i find it odd that if he is seirously thinking about marriage in 2 years he wouldn't be saying it with such uncertainty. Or maybe that's just how he is. I don't know, I was hoping you guys could shed some light on this and give me your opnions. Maybe I am just making too much of a big deal about this, I'm just a tad confused by the whole thing. Oh, and he is the supriser type. He said he thinks proposals should be a complete surprise and the girl should no nothing about it. I highly doubt this is the whole "chandler making Monica think he didn't want to get married" thing. Just another little tidbit of info. He's just not going to give me any clue about when he'll propose. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 sounds like he's trying to fly under the radar as he gets feedback from you. You know, ask without directly asking! And it could be his way of letting you know that he's thinking a little more seriously about marriage, even if it's a couple of years down the road. So don't overly worry about it, it's just his way of doing things, especially if he feels that the proposal should be a big surprise – he wants information but doesn't want to tip his hand, so to speak. now, be a doll and post the link to the questionnaire, I'm curious to see it! Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 now, be a doll and post the link to the questionnaire, I'm curious to see it! I'm interested in that too! Sounds like your bf is starting to think about marriage in a more realistic way, asking the real questions. I think wanting to get your opinion on issues that matter in a marriage is great, little funny how he did it though Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 IMO, this is how I see it. I don't think he's going to pop the question. Given your history, I think he's still trying to figure out whether you're even your marriage-material to begin with. You've flipped out on him in the past, argued a lot over different topics, he's seriously questioned your compatibility, etc., he's been somewhat wish-washy about even knowing what he wants...right? I think he didn't want you to see the name because he didn't want you to even think he was ready for marriage. He's simply literally relying on a written test to determine who's the right woman for him for the long haul, because he doesn't even know who that woman is. If he knew it was you, he wouldn't rely on a test or a quiz. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 18, 2007 Author Share Posted August 18, 2007 No, SG thats not the reason he wanted to do the quiz. We already actually had talked about many of the questions so there weren't a whole lot of surprises. And we are very compatible. We have argued over a few things, but hey what couple hasn't? We got through it and now we are better than ever! Actually, I think the questions are a good idea for any couple who is on the marriage track. Hey, you don't find out your compatible without asking those types of questions. My bf is also MUCH smarter than to rely on some quiz to determine what woman he is going to marry. Anyway, for everyone else who answered thanks for the replys. Yeah, I seriously doubt he is going to propose, nor will I be heartbroken if he doesn't until next year. He's just done a couple things lately that have been a tad suspicious, such as wanting to go over the questions and asking me on what date I am going to graduate and all (I already told him I wanted to finish school before getting married). But those things could mean absolutely nothing, who knows? The issue I was having was more that he was still saying "if we get married, if we have children." He's always saying how compatible we are and how much of a good match I am for him, so I don't think he's doubting my wife potential. Maybe it's not skepticism over our compatibility, maybe thats just how he talks about it. Here is the link for you guys who were wondering..take it, it was a real great experience and you can really find out if you are on the same page and want the same things out of your relationship. http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/08/02/o.marriage.questions/index.html Link to post Share on other sites
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