Boyfriend's picture taking of attractive bartender

[popey]

my bf and I were at a bar while on vacation in Europe (and with more than a few drinks in us.) We were standing at the bar when some girls started doing some sort of organized dance, which prompted me to put my purse down and rush over to give it a try.

 

When I returned he was looking through his digital camera pics and quickly began running through showing me. What I found was several pics of me dancing from a distance; 1 pic of a cool light; and 3 pics of the same attractive scantily dressed, bar tender including a cleavage close up.

 

He claims that he took a bunch of pictures all around the club and had just deleted all the blurry ones, and it is total coincidence that 3 of 4 were of her, and further that he not once thought intentionally to take a pic of this woman, but simply was taking pictures all around.

 

1. Do you find this explanation believable?

2. Do you think there's something wrong with what he did int the first place.

3. Do you find it reasonable for me to question... if this is how he'll behave when i simply step away, how must he act when I'm not even there?

[LakesideDream]

Popey, considering that you were present and participating when the "incident happened".... that you had free access to the camera and pictures, were included in the pictures taken and saved, that there was no deception involved, I would forget about it.

[Carbine]

I agree, Lakeside. But she didn't specify if the bartender was actually AT that particular bar...

 

1. Do you find this explanation believable?

2. Do you think there's something wrong with what he did int the first place.

3. Do you find it reasonable for me to question... if this is how he'll behave when i simply step away, how must he act when I'm not even there?

 

1. Yes and no. Yes because he out having fun and wanted to take some holiday snaps. No because he was focusing on one particularly attractive woman to add to his photo album. The explanation that he just deleted all the blurry photos sounds plausible enough - but how blurry were the pics of the bartender compared to the rest of them?

2. Yes.

3. Yes, and I would too. You don't know what he gets up to when you're not there; there's a large possibility he doesn't cheat and a small chance that he does. However, he didn't have enough respect for you in that particular situation to avoid taking the photos in the first place. That's what would p*ss me right off.

[popey]

Guys, thanks for the input, and yes- the bartender was at the bar at which we my bf and I were together. But the one time I was away from him out on the dance floor, was when he took the pics of the bartender. And yes, her pics were clear... and again... THREE clear pics of her.

[Lizzie60]

1. Do you find this explanation believable?

 

Probably, it's hard to say... I have no idea if he's a liar or not.

 

2. Do you think there's something wrong with what he did int the first place.

 

Not really... he showed you the pics, he loves to look at sexy beautiful women.

 

3. Do you find it reasonable for me to question... if this is how he'll behave when i simply step away, how must he act when I'm not even there?

 

I'm afraid you'll have to get used to this... your bf likes to look at women..unless he is with you and obviously twisting his neck to look at a woman.. I would simply forget about it..

 

Just tell him that you don't like what he did... then forget about it... he might not do it again... he probably didn't think it would hurt you... don't nag and don't be too possessive, you'll drive him away.

[popey]

I hear ya Lizzie. My thing is- looking at attractive women - I get it. Taking multiple pictures of the same one woman, while I'm steps away? Seems like a less than constructive behavior for our relationship. Where does this go if he's away with the guys?