The "skinny" on his double standards...

[little_one]

I have an eating disorder. I am trying to heal right now, re-feed properly, and trying to not want to die from looking in the mirror. My boyfriend says I have to gain weight. Or he won't be attracted to me. (He never is anyways).

We saw a girl he liked before me at a festival, and she was much thinner than me. Later I asked why I'm not allowed to be that thin. He said I have a "different body type". He dug that hole. So what type of body do I have??

Is he trying to keep me fat and un-attractive to keep me to himself? Why is the other girl still considered attractive, (he said she is) but I have to gain weight (and as much as I try to do what he says and be healthy, there is no sexual relationship AT ALL)?????

 

This girl is also younger than me(she is 20, and I am 24). My boyfriend is much older(36). I can't change my age!!

 

I feel so ugly and hopeless I could die.

[LucreziaBorgia]

He's not trying to keep you fat. He's trying to keep you from killing yourself. That other girl may have been thinner, but she probably had a smaller frame or whatever. Some girls at 95 pounds are 'normal', some are 'anorexic'. It depends on the girl. Thin on her may have been attractive, but it doesn't mean your boyfriend wants you to be that thin. I expect he would rather have you healthy. Keep on getting help and support for your eating disorder. It can warp your reality, and hopefully you will grow into a healthier mindset as you grow into a healthier body.

[Carbine]

He's not trying to keep you fat. He's trying to keep you from killing yourself

 

True, but in the given situation:

He said I have a "different body type"

sounds like advice from a wannabe shrink-dietician. It's not very helpful. In fact, it's detrimental.

 

little_one: what sort of 'eating disorder' do you actually have? Who came to the conclusion that this is what you're suffering from? I'm not trying to make accusations, just wondering.

 

Is he trying to keep me fat and un-attractive to keep me to himself? Why is the other girl still considered attractive.

 

He cares about you and wants to do the 'right' thing. But seeing you in pain is not enough to stop thinner girls being attractive to him. There, is that what you wanted to hear?

[Cad Rake]

he might know your buttons and may be using "reverse psychology" to keep you thin.

 

One way to know for sure: if he's still shagging you regularly, he's attacted to you. If he's not, he's not. Simple as that.

[me123]

I may be wrong, and anyone call me on it if I am...but from your post and him mentioning that the other girl was attractive even though she was thinner than u....In my opinion, he's probably just concerned about you, and probably the girl wasnt thinner than you, she was probably similar in shape. If you guys love eachother he's just concerned, and things he says may seem harsh or offend you but he just wants you to see you for who you are...probably a fairly thin attractive woman...u just have a distorted view. I say this because I am thin, considered underweight by my doc...but not skinny skinny...no bones showing...and I know that you probably dont want bones showing either lol i'm 5'9-10" and weigh 135 which is considered under, but i can emphasize because about a year ago i was 160 (which is considered normal) but i felt like a cow.

I think that you probably look amazing, you just need more reassurance from your man. tell him it bothers you, he should understand (knowing your situation) if he truly loves you. If he doesnt, you know you could have plenty of other guys that would appreciate you no matter what your size.

[Cobra_X30]

Dude, what an Ahole. Maybe you should consider dating somebody that 1 wants you and 2 doesnt point out attractive girls. Kind of disrespectful IMHO.