The call that doesn't come...

[ACE123]

Ok...a little PO'd here so please put up with my ranting.

 

Talked with the GF today.

She said she'd call in the early afternoon.

Call never came.

(I know I have call ID....NO CALL FROM HER)

 

So my question...why do people do this?

 

Ok, ok.

I am upset more at the principle of this scenario than I am at my girlfriend for not calling, but you see, this isn't the first time its happened.

 

I don't want to paint a picture of my GF as being an insensitive B****, because she is not.

She is used to leading a VERY independant lifestyle, doing as she pleases, when she pleases, and when we are together, she makes it very clear how much she truely does love me by her words and actions. I'd never doubt that.

 

So, that being said, I need to express to her my feelings on this matter.

I don't apreciate someone saying that they will do something and then not doing it.

I mean, that's not the way I was brought up... If you say you will do something, then by gosh, follow through!!!

I was taught at a very young age not to make a promise you cannot keep, and also to stand by your word.

That may sound a little old fashioned, but that's just me.

So, you can see why I am choked by this.

Who knows, It could have been an oversight, she could have forgot to call.

However, that's not my point. My point is "mean what you say, say what you mean."

 

Of course tonight "MAN-MIND" kicks in, and the good 'ol jealousy gene becomes active...

"why hasn't she called me??? Is she with another guy???"

(face it guys, it's a natural reaction)

I know I am just being silly for thinking these things, just a bit of childhood insecurities sneaking up on me... again!

 

Sooooo, now I can't sleep (2am here and still no call) but I did my part, and left a message at 7pm saying:

Hey it's me! thanks for calling! He he he! (jokingly) Give me a shout when ya get in babe! Luv ya!

...and then again at 12am:

"Hey babe! me again, I'll be up for the next couple of hours, give me a shout when you get in! Hope you had a great night! Luv ya!"

 

Well, now, I'm sitting in front of my PC drinking 151 proof rum, trying to fall asleep.

 

When I get up, I'll call her and have a little talk about respect, and following through when you say you'll do something.

 

Am I being too harsh?

I just don't want her to think she can treat me this way, and expect me to let it slide.

 

I'd appreciate any advise!

[Tony T]

First, human beings were not put on this planet to behave as you would wish or hope they would behave.

 

Second, most young chirpies...and many older ones too... were not taught to be responsible, just don't care, are flakey, preoccupied or just don't return the calls of people they don't want to talk to. Many are extremely selfish, preoccupied with their own lives, and don't do what isn't convenient for them to do. Some get distracted with other male interests.

 

NOT all members of the current generations are like that so don't slam me for generalizing. But this girl, unfortunately, is one that I have described above. Regretably, you may have to put up with this kind of behavior from time to time until you get older and meet more responsible, mature ladies in the proper settings. Right now, you'll have to struggle in finding females who have been raised like yourself. Good luck!!!

 

Now, if she cared anything at all about you she would have made a concerted effort to call you. By doing you a favor by not calling and letting you know that any one of the above described schemes or characteristics is possible with her, she has shown you that at this time she has not sufficiently matured or does not have the kind of character to be a good dating partner for you.

 

Write her butt off and quit trying to figure out why people do what they do....because you'll drive yourself nuts doing so.

 

I suggest you don't drink so much rum at this time because if you choose to get drunk everytime somebody is rude to you, you'll die of liver dysfunction in less than six months.

 

You'll also be served well by taking the attitude in life of not having expectations of people. They are going to be and do just what they are. If people do what they say they are going to do and act in accordance with good manners, consider that a great bonus!

[Leikela]

[color=indigo]

Hi Dave,

 

I can understand where you are coming from with feeling upset that she doesn't call when she says she is going to. Some people are just like that though and like you said, it doesn't mean that she doesn't love and care for you a great deal.

 

However, it is disrespectful to constantly behave in that fashion. Now and again things will come up and we cannot call when we say we will but it usually doesn't become a habit.

 

Maybe she just isn't a phone type person. I personally am not either and prefer to interact with people in-person. Whatever the case, you are on the right tract by talking with her about it all.

 

Also, maybe you need to back off a little bit and not call her two times after she was supposed to call you. If she doesn't call you when she says, then she doesn't call. I wouldn't hound her by calling her when you don't hear from her. Give her a little space in that regard. Have you heard from her at all today? Good luck with your talk and I hope you are able to resolve this with her.

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[ACE123]

Tony, I like the comment about the rum!

 

(However, I certainly don't make it a habit!)

 

Just for the record, my gal is 38, and by anyones standards, very mature.

 

But on that note you had some good points.

Anyhow, as it turned out she got really busy and never found a chance to call... yeah right!!

 

Welp, I gave her supreme hell yesterday and I'm sure she got the message!

So... after I chewed her out, and a sufficient apology was given, we spent an awesome day in the sun, crused around in my hotrod, tralked, took pictures, and topped it off with a crazy night of lovemaking! (wild animals would be envious!!!)

 

All is well for now, but if she pulls that kind of stuff again, she now knows I won't put up with it.

 

Ain't nuthin' like standing up for yourself once in a while!

 

Leikela :

 

You are right, I've got to back off a bit too.

I certainly don't want to give her the impression that my world revolves around her.

The type of person she is, that kind of dependance would sound the little warning bells in her head.

She already knows I care for her a great deal, and I know she cares for me lots too.

I suppose I just hold her to a higher standard than most, and should probably cut her some slack....ONCE IN A WHILE!!!

 

Again, I doubt she'll repeat that little mistake anytime soon!

(If she does, you all will hear about it!!)

 

Cheers!

ACE123

[Leikela]

[color=indigo]

Dave,

 

I am glad to hear that you were able to talk to her about it. Now that she knows how you feel, if she does it in the future, you'll know that she doesn't take your feelings into consideration. I hope you two continue to communicate well and that it all works out.

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