lonelybird Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Cheaters are weak, human beings are weak and all make mistakes, if that can make you feel better. how about do good things for those who you hate? you will find healing come sooner Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 ^^^ Wisdom oft comes in lonely forms! Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 17. Please leave your wife and kids for me 18. Please don't expect me to contribute to the child support, alimony, or legal fees for the divorce 19. Please tell your friends to stop referring to me as "that woman" 20. Please don't find a new OW to cheat on me with once we are together 21. Please God can you make pigs fly LMAOOOOOOO:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 then can you explain why in the first place you fall for him? Because he was very convincing, he pulled the wool over my eyes for a bit and there is still a fine line between reality and what were lies. If he can fool his W after 8yrs of knowing her imagine what he did to me? When I caught on to his ways, it was too late I was already very much in love with the man I thought he was. But I did end it with him when I realised what he was really about. I cant know her reasons, but it sounds to me as though she has some major issues concerning her self worth. She probably feels its the best she can hope for... and the desire to believe him, despite incontrovertable evidence, is so strong because of that. You have to realize that some poeple get so beat down in life that they cant see up. Like bieng stuck at the bottom of a well, and you cant find the rope. After time you stop looking for it, and you lose the strength to pull yourself up. No, to say she is stupid... in a way puts yourself above her. I dont think your the kind of person to really think that. Cobra I agree with a lot of what you said. Funny you said the bolded words when I would ask him why he had a hard time breaking it off with here those were his EXACT words, he felt sorry for breaking her heart since she felt he was the best she could get. One of the many times she begged him to stay she said please don't leave me I don't want to start all over again and I don't think I can do better than you. This is from a woman in her early thirties who is attractive and successful in her career with no children. It's really mind blowing. I don't think I am better than her AT all. I do think that I am emotionally smarter than her and have a healthier self esteem than her, yes I do and I can't refrain from admitting that. I would never beg a man to stay with me. That is emotionally dumb. I would also never take my own life for a man, or anyone for that matter...maybe if I lost a child I might hit the end of my rope I dunnow how that would feel don't even want to think about that...but not for another human being. Also I felt sorry for her at first yes, especially when she threatened to take her own life for this man. BUT I do not feel sorry for her now, she has enough proof that her man is a liar that he is deceitful she is now fulfilling her own prophecy, I can't feel sorry for that. She is an adult, as am I and she has to take responsibility for her own decisions. If she catches him down the line in a few years in a another affiar, and he will 100%, it's just to easy for him...then I cannot feel sorry for someone who does not learn from mistakes. She may be naive, or not good at playing detective or just eternally hopeful, but what's your excuse? How dare you call her stupid, dumb, etc. while you willingly dated a known cheat. What does that make YOU? You know what, the more I read your posts the more I realize why MM won't commit to you. I think her husband will come to realize just what qualities his wife has and if he's lucky, she'll still give him another chance. Not that he deserves it. She was great at playing detective when she found out we were dating the first time? And when she broke into the emials after that? Listen the only thing she wanted was to have him back home now that he's home she is back to playing blind wifey again. I dated a known cheater because he was cheating on her, not me. He wouldn't commit to me because he realised I am not a pushover like his W, life with me would not have been filled with lies and a double life. Life with me would have made him clean up his act. I am too fast for him and he would tell me that all the time. At first I thought it was cute, then I realised he was trying to tell me "you're just too quick for me I don't think I can trick you as I have my W" I would have been TOO much work for him. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Yeah, that's why she's stupid. I'll give you the chronology of the lies and explain why I think she is stupid or just wanting to play blind? D-day 1 - We were dating she had us follow he gets caught. He moves back home to work on the marriage with her dumps her a month later again. She crack into his email reads ALL of our emails and sees everything that has EVER been said via email between he and I he can't hide his feelings if he wants to A YEAR'S worth of love letters and sex letters and plans for the future you name it ALL for her to see. She begs him to come back home. I saw her emails. She even threatened to kill hereself, was there when he took the call. D-day 2 - He then needs time out to be on his own, we break up he moves back home to be with her he (unbeknownst to me I think he is really on his own to clear his head) proceeds to stay in contact with me at this point since I think he is just on his own. I sense he is pulling away but eventually he insists on having to see me he lies to get me to see him making me think he is still on his own calls me from his place not hers. I see him find out he has moved back in with her for two months now, I call her up tell her he came to see me. She -shocked that A - came to see me tell me he stll loves me etc. B - EVEN MORE shocked he has been in contact with me the whole time he's moved back home. 3. After D-day 2 I think he will finally leave me alone, he crates fake profiles online, contacts me on MSN, we even chat on MSN for a whole afternoon a monthw after d-day, he follows me around to certain online networking sites, posts profiles up so does she, join date is there CLEARLY he is following me around not the other way around. Calls me from blocked #s at night 10:30 at night etc. serveral occasions during week days. He follows me around on the net I have ways of knwoing I work for a site he frequents and can be tracked. Other things I cannot get into here because it is TMI and I don't wish to disclose certain details but does a number of other VERY public things you would have to be blind and retarded not to know your H was up to no good. THEN he has about 4 different email accounts he sends me periodic emails from, remember she already cracked into his email once, now what why does she not check up on him now 5 months post D-day? The guy is still constantly cruising the net for me, and all under his Ws nose in their house because he works from home. Bottom line, she is STUPID. Not because she can't catch him lying, but because she actually believes he will stop, given all the things he has already proved he is acting the EXACT same way he was when I first met him and she was out of town all the time. This time she is not I think she works from home as well these days, or last I heard. I feel sorry for both of them, Bleeechhhhh! She's dumb and he's a pathological liar. And during all this activity, he was having you and his wife. You were right to kick him to the curb, but his dangling of you both was allowed for quite some time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 And during all this activity, he was having you and his wife. You were right to kick him to the curb, but his dangling of you both was allowed for quite some time. He was NEVER having Me and his W. All of our physical contact ended a few weeks before he asked for some time off. Prior to that he was living on his own and was with me all the time. There was not sharing at all. In his head he may have had both but that's irrelevant to me, who knows what goes on inside anyone's head really....? Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 He was NEVER having Me and his W. All of our physical contact ended a few weeks before he asked for some time off. Prior to that he was living on his own and was with me all the time. There was not sharing at all. In his head he may have had both but that's irrelevant to me, who knows what goes on inside anyone's head really....? Well, fortunately, you were smart enough to envision the cobwebs and bats that must inhabit his! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Well, fortunately, you were smart enough to envision the cobwebs and bats that must inhabit his! Yup!! and the more time goes by and the more things I see him do the more mental he seems to me. I am so shocked at myself for actually falling for this guy. But you know I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise, when if they do, it is a very hard spot to erase for me. I don't forget easily and forgiveness on big things is next to impossible for me. I have lost good people in my life over betrayal of trust and once I write someone off I just don't look back. I am a true scorpio in that sense and we don't take well to lies and deceit. We are too intese for that crap and super vengeful when we get hurt. I did manage to keep my vengeful side under wraps though, something I am very proud of given what a hay day I could have with this situation but it's not worth it. As much as my intesity challenged him and entised him I think it scared the crap out of him too. He knew long term he would really have to clean up his act to be with me and I just dont' think he could keep up to that. Everyone who knows my situation and knows me and got to know him said this very thing. At home = easy with me = work. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Amen, sister! I'm the OM involved with a MW,and believe me.....I'm living it! Does the husband know? You may not be living squat if he finds out. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 First, if you've been reading this thread, you'd already know the answer to that question, you don't have to read my history... I mean, do we assume that as soon as woman finds out her H has been lying to her and having sex with another woman drops him right away? According to your logic she would tell him to hit the road when the truth comes out... She should. So I guess you know where ass-u-ming gets you... As for the rest of your post, who cares what you think? Obviously you did to respond and keep responding. Link to post Share on other sites
smoochygirl Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 then can you explain why in the first place you fall for him? Cheaters are weak and pathological liar BS is stupid and naive? OW is hypocrite. No pun intended, i just notice this a lot here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vivi Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 Well, we had a great time. We had another great time today at the beach. I wonder what's in it for some people to come here and vent their displaced anger and bitterness on strangers. It would be much more constructive to tell it to a therapist, come to terms from it, and move on with their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
smoochygirl Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Well, we had a great time. We had another great time today at the beach. I wonder what's in it for some people to come here and vent their displaced anger and bitterness on strangers. It would be much more constructive to tell it to a therapist, come to terms from it, and move on with their lives. Thats good. I think they are speaking of reality not bitterness and anger. Looks like your the one who's gonna need a therapist on D Day. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Well, we had a great time. We had another great time today at the beach. I wonder what's in it for some people to come here and vent their displaced anger and bitterness on strangers. Whats in it for you to destroy a family? It would be much more constructive to tell it to a therapist, come to terms from it, and move on with their lives. And it would be much more constructive to find yourself a single man. Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Well, we had a great time. We had another great time today at the beach. I wonder what's in it for some people to come here and vent their displaced anger and bitterness on strangers. It would be much more constructive to tell it to a therapist, come to terms from it, and move on with their lives. You would think, but a therapist might actually expect them to acknowledge their own involvement in the destruction of the marriage instead of just placing blame all the time. Its easier to lay all the blame on others. My husband cheated on me and even though there was no excuse for it I have taken responsibility for my part in making him feel like he needed to go outside the marriage for support. I by no means take the blame for what he did. But I do know that it takes two people to kill a marriage, even if the only mistake the other partner makes is getting married in the first place. Its easier to just come here and verbally assualt the OW/OMs. Its sad. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 even if the only mistake the other partner makes is getting married in the first place. :lmao::lmao::lmao: OMG! Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 :lmao::lmao::lmao: OMG! Funny but true. Honestly, I never should have married my husband. I knew deep down I wasn't the love of his life, but I wanted to be with him so I figured in time he would love me as much as I loved him. WRONG. I know better now. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Funny but true. Honestly, I never should have married my husband. I knew deep down I wasn't the love of his life, but I wanted to be with him so I figured in time he would love me as much as I loved him. WRONG. I know better now. I hear ya! Believe me! Been there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author vivi Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 OOoooooooh! It's funny how some people look inside their own dark closet and conclude that the sun is not shining outside. I suppose it's less challenging for some to think that way. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 OOoooooooh! It's funny how some people look inside their own dark closet and conclude that the sun is not shining outside. I suppose it's less challenging for some to think that way. I know you think that was witty....trust me pumpkin....it wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vivi Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 look, bish, I don't know what your story is, and it must have been a humdinger. But I don't think you are advancing the ball for fidelity by coming on a message board that's 90 percent women, many of whom are in tough situations, some of whom are birds with broken wings, and telling them that's what they get for falling for a playa. Some women don't even find out the guy is married until they are in too deep. Why don't you go on some playa message boards and tell those guys who are married to keep it in their pants? Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Some women don't even find out the guy is married until they are in too deep. I understand that and can sympathize with them in that case. But alot of women/men here DO know they are getting involved with someone elses spouse and don't care as long as they get what they want. Why don't you go on some playa message boards and tell those guys who are married to keep it in their pants? I have told men on this board that. Read on. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 look, bish, I don't know what your story is, and it must have been a humdinger. But I don't think you are advancing the ball for fidelity by coming on a message board that's 90 percent women, many of whom are in tough situations, some of whom are birds with broken wings, and telling them that's what they get for falling for a playa. Some women don't even find out the guy is married until they are in too deep. Why don't you go on some playa message boards and tell those guys who are married to keep it in their pants?[/quote That's such a great idea Vivi!! Playa Message Boards for MM Playa's. Link to post Share on other sites
blowingthetrout Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 You want meaningful conversation? Do what I do, talk to yourself. It's the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 This Thread gets better all the time I peek in here.....lol Good comic relief that is for sure! :lmao::lmao: LNF, you crack me up! You are a rare breed! Love ya girl!:bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
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