sarah.00 Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 My boyfriend is not perfect hes done alot of things to hurt me, but his family blames it all on me, they dont know the real truth about their son and what hes done because he wont tell them., so now there all calling me names, saying ive ruined there sons life, and theres other girls for him out there. They even suggested that id get myself pregnant just to keep my boyfriend of 3 years. His sister is out talking bad about me, telling lies just because she thinks ive ruined her brothers life. theyve seen how bad my boyfriend treats me infront of them, but to them hes perfect and hasnt done anything wrong. They were always so nice to me all the time, and now because they kicked there son out, they say that ive wrecked his life.There making him choose between me or them?Its not fair, his mom thinks im nothing at all, she used to sit and talk with me for hours, it was all fake. Now shes making her son dump me, the woman he loves. I know we have problems but its not all my fault. My boyfriend doesnt want to tell his family the truth about whats happend between me and him, because its not there business, how do I make his mother see that she babyd her son, and its her fault thats hes a mommys boy now, and its not my fault.? What am I supposed to do, i havent done anything wrong,but yet they think its all my fault. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 If he treats you so bad, why are you with him? You will never change his family, or him, don't bother trying. Learn to live with it or move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 It's hard to understand your post but I think it's because we're missing some important information. What exactly happened between you and your boyfriend to cause this change in how his family sees you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 You shouldn't be concerned about what his family thinks of you. While it would be nice for them to think highly of you, that's not the case you you'll be able to do nothing to change that. What you ought to be concerned about is your boyfriend. He is not "perfect" as you say, in part because he comes from this clan of idiots. Second, blood is thicker than water and in time...if the family keeps up this attitude...you will have serious problems. Strengthen the bond and secure it tightly between you and your boyfriend. That's the last bit of fiber keeping the two of you together. Stay completely out of this family stuff because you will never win. Just be good and show your man that you are NOT what his family says. This is a difficult situation but you may as well not worry about it. In time, hopefully, it will minimize. Meanwhile, concern yourself only with being kind and true to your guy. I personally wouldn't want to be anywhere near a situation like this. Your guy's got a very nutty family...and don't forget for a minute that HE is very much a part of it. That's where he came from. Link to post Share on other sites
amorsiempre Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 i dont see why you are with him if he treats you so bad.... what does he do... his family isnt gonna change. you either gotta accept him and the package he comes with (his family) or move on.... hopefull you'll move on to a man who'll treat you right. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 My ex-husband is a very obvious moron, but his parents think he's just fine, although his mother clashes with him a lot, and they don't seem to get along well much of the time. My ex mother in law used to talk with me for hours and I thought I was accepted, but deep in my gut I never felt like I was their choice of a wife for their son. Right after I left my ex she gossiped falsely about me. She's one of those kind who is real sweet and nice to your face, but talks against you you behind your back. I have a working relationship with my ex in-laws now, due to my son, but I am not comfortable in their company. I don't blame them for the demise of my relationship but I do know they meddled quite a bit during my marriage. I just never did anything right or good enough in their eyes. To the day they insist my ex is such a wonderful father...blah...blah, and I feel like there's nothing I could ever do to look worthy in their eyes. Now I don't care what they think, but it still hurts at times to think of the things that were said about me. Here's some advice, think twice---no, think once, good long and hard about getting involved with a controlling family like that. It makes your marriage and your life a living hell, esp. if your husband or boyfriend takes their side all the time. If there are children, you'll not only be strapped to your ex for all eternity, but his family too. Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 I was engaged to a man who ended up being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia brought on by (I believe) his using Ecstacy and other drugs. Yet his father blamed me for everything wrong that was going on at that time. I think part of the problem was a bad childhood. His father basically neglected him for years and years until the medical problems came along. Then it seemed he was making up for his neglect by being overly protective. How was your boyfriend's childhood? Has he always been a mommy's boy? ...and now because they kicked there son out, they say that ive wrecked his life Why was he kicked out in the first place? Perhaps they are feeling guilty because of this and are lashing out at the next closest person. Personally, I would not stick around for much longer. But if you feel you love this man and you could marry him (and his family) think things through carefully. I read a book once called "The Year of the Lucy" by Anne McCaffrey. The lady in the book is going through a very similar situation to the one you have. I recommend reading it, but perhaps not what the character does! Good luck there. Link to post Share on other sites
Kidd Seuss Posted April 2, 2003 Share Posted April 2, 2003 [color=darkred]One thing you have to realize. Your boyfriend is their baby. They've all seen him grow up and think he can do no wrong. Thats a typical family view. They don't believe it because its true, they believe it because they WANT to believe it. The only thing you have to keep in mind is that, no matter how much distaste you have for his family, it is still his family. You just need to work on the relationship between you and him. His mom and dad and sisters and etc aren't dating you. Work on the source, then the other problems will become less significant. Drew [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
remita Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 I don't know how old you are but get out of this situation fast. I have been there. His family is JEALOUS of you. They know he's a loser they just don't want to admit it because he is family. They kicked him out. If he won't be honest with his mother, think what he has done to you or will do to you. I will keep in touch with you if you want because you need to be walked through this. 3 years is along time I know but don't waste another minute. The longer you stay, the harder it is. Hang tough little sis, it is true what they say about how they treat their mother and sisters is good reflection on how they will treat you. Anne Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts