Small issue with my fiance

[dreamyeyes42]

I am going to be completely honest here because I know that blinding myself from the truth will only result in wasting people's valuable time and not end up helping me at all. Thank you in advance for reading and for any advice given!

My fiance and I have been together 7 years and we have a great relationship. He is kind, caring and truly loves me and we are both excited and heavily planning our wedding in Nov. 2008. We talk about our future and our dream of starting a family; I love him dearly and we are a normal, happy couple.

Of course, nobody is perfect and we all have flaws that not many like. My fiance has one that has irked me since we've been dating and I can't seem to fix it.

In a nutshell, sometimes when things come up (a business meeting, minor family situation or simply that he's staying out longer than anticipated with his friends, etc), he doesn't bother to call me to tell me that he'll be late or he probably won't be able to see me when we already have plans to. (he has NOT ditched me when we've made plans to go somewhere special...we always spend Fri, Sat and Sun evenings together just being together at his house, going out to dinner or ordering in, etc. Its on these quiet evenings that this happens.)

In all honesty, he HAS called me (very few times) to tell me he'll be late or he probably won't be able to see me but more often than not, he just doesn't call. And when I try calling him, he doesn't pick up. The last time he did this was last week, when he got an unexpected invitation to an important meeting to make business acquaintances for a business he's developing. We always meet up to jog every afternoon and well, needless to say I was waiting for him to show up to jog...he never did, he didn't call and when I tried to call, he had turned off his phone. (I was worried so I called his house and his aunt told me where he'd headed. Now here's the thing, he usually tells his family where he's off to but I guess it's because he lives with them, but he does pull the same thing to them, although not as often as with me).

 

Trust me, I have thought about the issue of infidelity but we need to put that aside because in all honesty, he wouldn't do that (and I am speaking honestly, knowing him for 7 years and one of his greatest virtues IS faithfulness, so infidelity is out of the question. Plus he's told me many times how he doesn't want to loose me, he doesn't believe in hooking up with random people, the risk of vinereal diseases nowadays, etc.).

 

He is wonderful with everything else...but why does he do this to me? It bothers me and I HAVE talked to him about it: calmly discussing it, yelled at him about it, given him the silent treatment about it...Calling him the next day to bitch to him about it, or just not calling at all and pretend like nothing happened....but oh my God, NOTHING works. How can I get my wretched fiance to CALL me when something comes up that way he doesn't leave me freaking HANGING, waiting for him?? These nights I'm left with no choice but to have a stay-in party with myself and resort to the comfort of Netflix instant movie watching, when I could've made plans with friends to go out.

 

Please, any advice? Is this some cruel game he likes to play with me from time to time? And if so, WHY???

 

Any men here with similar or stranger behavoir who could enlighten me?

 

THANKS!!

[katiebour]

My b/f tries to call whenever he's late. But he did say at one time that he liked the freedom to be out and about wherever he wanted to be, without consulting me first.

 

It might be that this is one of the few ways he can be independent from you.

 

It's rough to have plans and then have him stand you up- if he does this regularly why not make plans with your friends and cut down on the nights that you guys stay together? He might put more effort into seeing you if he had to do it a little less.

 

My $0.02. Good luck!