Midnight Magic Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 I am in a relationship as you all know where there is no love and no affection at all. There is however an older very great looking man who is willing to be there for me in a way that I want. He too is in a relationship, yet we are both not getting what we want and need at home. What do you think of office romances. I hate to admit it, but I have had a crush on this man for two years now and he treats me like a princess. He is what I need in my life. He has told me that he too wants nothing than to spend a night together so we can explore what we both want and need. We have an office trip in another town next week, and I am seriously thinking of taking him up on his offer. Maybe in the middle of the night I can slip out of my hotel room into his and pretend that I was sleep walking. Any advice! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 I think you need to end one relationship before beginning another (him too) If your current relationship is so bad, get out of it - or make it better. Cheating will only make things worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Why do people stay in relationships where there is no passion, love or affection? I don't think I would even have a friendship where there wasn't some feeling of affection. Get out of your current relationship ASAP. Then date around and seek a relationship where those missing elements are present and you feel fulfilled and happy. Don't rush into anything. This new thing you describe could be exciting for the moment but something you may not want to draw out. Take heed of what HokeyRelgions posted above. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 no use trying to start something up with someone new if you still got your present boyfriend around. And be sure that he's also free and clear, without any attachments before you jump into a relationship (fleeting or lasting), because it'll just get messy otherwise. as far as it being an office romance, you prolly should check and see if there are any no-no's involved -- some places discourage employees dating, while others don't have such rules. You might also want to see how you guys want to handle that, too -- one or both of you might feel uncomfortable having people in your workplace know that you're seeing each other, for whatever reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
witchbreed Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 First of all I think there is NO reason at all to stay in a relationsship without love and affection. Your better of alone then bound to someone you do not love. So in your shoes the first step I would recommend is to end the current unhappy relationsship. As to having an affair with this workmate. By what you tell, he does want to stay in his relationsship. Ask yourself if you are willing to play second fiddle. We women tend to get emotionally involved in an affair - how will you feel if you start loving him, bonding to him and he just wants you to have some fun on the side? If he on the other hand does want a serious relationsship with you tto, he would have to end the other relationsship first too. If you both start this realtionsship by cheating on current partners, chances are that somewhere in the future one or both of you, will be afraid that the other is cheating, because you have had the experience that both of you have been cheating on a partner. So the chances of a new relationsship are better, if the old relationsships are ended and solved before starting the new one. Sure you might say, that you first want to know if you are compatible dating and sexually before ending what you have. I can understand this, but if there is no love to your current partner, you have nothing to loose. This workmate might be or might not be what you are looking for, but you already know that the partner you have is not. In the end, its all up to you. Just after ending a long term relationsship often one is not ready to enter into a serious relationsship anyway, so an affair - preferably with someone who is not in an relationsship - can do you good. But be sure first if thats what you want. Best luck Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 I believe that neither the man nor Midnight wanted to leave their current relationships. Not sure what the reason was. Sometimes people stay in loveless relationships bc they are "safe," bc its against their religion to get out, financial reasons, or they just don't want to deal with the hurt and drama from a break up. Either way, they get the raw end of the deal for staying in a lifeless and loveless marriage...which sucks worse than any type of hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted March 28, 2003 Share Posted March 28, 2003 Going to quote some of the things you've written, that caught my attention, then comment on them: I am in a relationship as you all know where there is no love and no affection at all. Why on earth are you remaining in a relationship you claim has no love or affection? The need for love and affection are basic and essential, so why are you with someone who doesn't meet your needs? That's just plain stupid. There is however an older very great looking man who is willing to be there for me in a way that I want. No offense, but really, what do his looks have to do with anything? Anyway, he's willing to be there for you in a way that you want? What does that really mean? He's going to give you LOVE and affection? So if that's really the case (which I'm doubtful of), why not get out of the relationship you're currently in, and see if this guy ends HIS RELATIONSHIP, and then take it from there? Why have an affair and sneak around behind the backs of your respective PARTNERS? Doesn't sound very loving to me. He too is in a relationship, yet we are both not getting what we want and need at home. What do you think of office romances. Ahh....he SAYS he's in a relationship that's not meeting his needs....so then why is HE still in it? How stupid. OR...could it be that he's just giving you this song and dance story so that he can justify having an affair with YOU? My money's on that. Read on. He is what I need in my life. How do you KNOW he's what you need in your life? People can SEEM to be perfect for us, but until you're in a relationship with them, you just never know for sure. He has told me that he too wants nothing than to spend a night together so we can explore what we both want and need. HAHAHAHAHA! Wow, that's priceless. So in other words, he wants to get together to screw ya, get his rocks off, under the thinly (very thinly) veiled guise of exploring what you both want and need? LMAO! What he's really saying is that he wants you to be his mistress, in essence. He admits to being in a relationship he's not happy with, yet instead of being a man of integrity and honesty, and being honest with the person he's in the unhappy relationship with, breaking up with them BEFORE getting it on with someone else, he figures you 2 should roll around in the sheets, and that that will somehow provide some clarity. LOL Don't you see how lame that sounds? What a line! We have an office trip in another town next week, and I am seriously thinking of taking him up on his offer. So, you have no qualms about sneaking around behind your current partner's back, spending time with another man? Your conscience doesn't have a problem with this, why not? How would YOU feel if someone you were in a relationship did this behind your back, instead of just being honest with you and letting you know they weren't happy and figured it best to break up? Also, how do you know this guy's history? I'm willing to be you're not the first gal he's wanted to have this little arrangement with. How do you know he doesn't have Herpes? Or Genital Warts? Or HIV? Condoms, even if used properly, do NOT provide 100% protection against things of this nature. You want to risk getting an incurable virus and having that as a lifetime reminder? Or risk spreading this to your current partner? Maybe in the middle of the night I can slip out of my hotel room into his and pretend that I was sleep walking. Good grief, that's ridiculous! LOL Surely you're not serious? I can't imagine anyone playing such a silly game. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted March 28, 2003 Share Posted March 28, 2003 Why do the both of you have to sleep together to find out if you're good for one another? So basically, you're basing this relationship on a sexual thing. What if the sex is not good? Are you gonna stay with him since you say already that he's giving you every thing you need? And what if he doesn't like the sex with you and decide to dump you? Link to post Share on other sites
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