I think I scared this man. What can I do (how can I act) to make him "relax"

[Sandy]

I was all set to have "the date of my life" with a man I have been attracted to for over a year. Because my busy schedule (his too) made it that we weren't in the same cities for most of the time during last year, we never got the chance to go out.

 

(Actually we did have an affair a year and a half ago)

 

Every time we would bump into each other the chemistry was SOOOO strong that we knew we would have to see one another again.

 

Well, this last time we almost went out, but I had to change the time at the last minute and he never got my message!!

 

We did mange to see each other for coffee the morning before I had to take off on my next work assignment (leave the city). The attraction was so strong, he was touching my hair, holding my hands, looking in my eyes ect.

 

Then he asked me what I wanted from the relationship and I told him I had fallen in love with him. He told me that we barely knew each other yet, and that "love is something you share with another person ect..and that we didn't really share anything.."

 

I told him that I was just a naive romantic at heart, like a "Sleeping Beauty" character out of a fairy tale who believed in magic and he said it was not realistic to think we could ever have a really serious relationship because of our different life-styles, jobs, ect.

 

I told him, "You never know. YOu don't know what tomorrow will bring" and he nevertheless agreed.

 

Then for some stupid reason I started crying when he said he wasn't "the man" for me, but he wanted to be friends.He told me not to cry, hugged me

 

and walked me to the train station.

 

Then, despite all that was said, he gave me a long passionate kiss on the lips and told me to "forget him".

 

I don't know what to make of this because I know I should never have mentioned the word "love". I wanted to sleep with him so badly that I wouldn't have cared if "love" wasn't present. It was my body talking, and it is clear he is attracted to me in a big way.

 

What should I do? Wait a while? I know I'll see him in a months and a half....

 

(We are both in the entertainment industry)

[michele]

I was all set to have "the date of my life" with a man I have been attracted to for over a year. Because my busy schedule (his too) made it that we weren't in the same cities for most of the time during last year, we never got the chance to go out. (Actually we did have an affair a year and a half ago) Every time we would bump into each other the chemistry was SOOOO strong that we knew we would have to see one another again. Well, this last time we almost went out, but I had to change the time at the last minute and he never got my message!! We did mange to see each other for coffee the morning before I had to take off on my next work assignment (leave the city). The attraction was so strong, he was touching my hair, holding my hands, looking in my eyes ect. Then he asked me what I wanted from the relationship and I told him I had fallen in love with him. He told me that we barely knew each other yet, and that "love is something you share with another person ect..and that we didn't really share anything.." I told him that I was just a naive romantic at heart, like a "Sleeping Beauty" character out of a fairy tale who believed in magic and he said it was not realistic to think we could ever have a really serious relationship because of our different life-styles, jobs, ect. I told him, "You never know. YOu don't know what tomorrow will bring" and he nevertheless agreed. Then for some stupid reason I started crying when he said he wasn't "the man" for me, but he wanted to be friends.He told me not to cry, hugged me and walked me to the train station. Then, despite all that was said, he gave me a long passionate kiss on the lips and told me to "forget him". I don't know what to make of this because I know I should never have mentioned the word "love". I wanted to sleep with him so badly that I wouldn't have cared if "love" wasn't present. It was my body talking, and it is clear he is attracted to me in a big way. What should I do? Wait a while? I know I'll see him in a months and a half.... (We are both in the entertainment industry)

 

I honestly don't think it had anything to do with what you said the "love" word. He is right in one thing, about sharing,and having communication with each other. But what he said about forget him, to me it seems that their is some triangle involved, probably he is involved with someone else, and when he sensed you were getting serious, he backed off. It sounds like lust to me. You deserve better!