The "Good Guy" Update

[Star Gazer]

I'll have to find out about Love Actually, never heard of it.

 

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

 

You're totally missing out, sista! Go get it, get it NOW!

[chill chic]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Don't do it! You'll lose Goddess status if you do. I'm just telling you.

 

Yes, Love Actually I thought was cute. Get that.

 

ok I won't!!! I promise, I would not want to lose my status

 

sorry I was thinking about him and just came out with that, so I think whenever I have a set back about him, or even my old FWB for that matter, I'll post what I feel at the moment, so I can have some help thinking rationally about it. Or...I'll wear a rubberband on my wrist and snap it if I think of something like that. That was suggested to me when I did actually see a therapist awhile back for something else.

 

well will he get the idea that I dumped him for that purpose? even though I was playing along with him with the sex inuendo? ahh I know who cares lol, I just want him to know how big of jerk he was, no other guy has gone to that length to toy with my feelings, just to get one thing from me. I actually respect the guys that come right and tell me rather than draw the bs out for so damn long until I get hurt.

[chill chic]

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

 

You're totally missing out, sista! Go get it, get it NOW!

 

 

wow I must be lol. well good, I'll look for that one at blockbuster

[Touche]

ok I won't!!! I promise, I would not want to lose my status

 

sorry I was thinking about him and just came out with that, so I think whenever I have a set back about him, or even my old FWB for that matter, I'll post what I feel at the moment, so I can have some help thinking rationally about it. Or...I'll wear a rubberband on my wrist and snap it if I think of something like that. That was suggested to me when I did actually see a therapist awhile back for something else.

 

well will he get the idea that I dumped him for that purpose? even though I was playing along with him with the sex inuendo? ahh I know who cares lol, I just want him to know how big of jerk he was, no other guy has gone to that length to toy with my feelings, just to get one thing from me. I actually respect the guys that come right and tell me rather than draw the bs out for so damn long until I get hurt.

 

I agree with the last part.

 

As for him, he's probably used to being dumped for that reason so I wouldn't even give it another thought.

 

Ok, so far you've kept your almost Goddess status.

[Cobra_X30]

oh I LOVE The Holiday!! It's a great movie and the music is amazing.

 

I'll have to find out about Love Actually, never heard of it.

 

Naw Ive got a better Idea!!!

 

If you really really really want to send him an email. Set up a new email address... like [email protected] Then send him an email as a PO'd boyfriend. Stuff like "You messed with my girlfriend... Im gonna hunt you down sucka..." Be creative!

 

Also... Forget the girly love movies... Rent 300... !

 

Love Actually?? Isnt that about 2 gay cowboys??? Yuck!

[Touche]

The two cowboys was Brokeback Mountain, actually. I loved that movie.

[underpants]

I think Cobra is a god.

 

Rent Alien.

[chill chic]

I agree with the last part.

 

As for him, he's probably used to being dumped for that reason so I wouldn't even give it another thought.

 

Ok, so far you've kept your almost Goddess status.

 

well I can almost bet that's been hurt before, he even told me about what happened to him in the past, which probably has made him a commitment phobe. he told me that his ex gf of awhile back, up'd and moved to vegas, got married and had kids for what reason I don't know, he said he dumped her for his own reasons. who knows, but I should've looked more closely to what he told me I'm guessing.

 

I'm glad to know that I still have my "almost" Goddess status

[chill chic]

Naw Ive got a better Idea!!!

 

If you really really really want to send him an email. Set up a new email address... like [email protected] Then send him an email as a PO'd boyfriend. Stuff like "You messed with my girlfriend... Im gonna hunt you down sucka..." Be creative!

 

Also... Forget the girly love movies... Rent 300... !

 

Love Actually?? Isnt that about 2 gay cowboys??? Yuck!

 

wow! well I don't know if I'd take it that far, yes he would think I was a psycho, maybe good in this matter, but ummm...nah I'll just ignore him instead

 

I don't think I'll be renting 300 either, it's a movie he was dying to see, so anything associated with him, I'd rather not involve myself in

[johan]

hey speaking of which, can anyone recommend a good relationship movie

 

The Shape of Things

 

or

 

Talk to Her (Spanish with subtitles)

[chill chic]

Oh I also wanted to note that a few days ago I had posted a bulletin/survey on my myspace that consisted of random questions. Well one of the questions was "turnoffs" I said :game playing, one-track minds, disrespect, no sense of humor...

so hopefully I ran off the no gooders with that

[johan]

Interesting that you didn't list bad breath. I guess you're ok with that. And smelly feet.

[chill chic]

The Shape of Things

 

or

 

Talk to Her (Spanish with subtitles)

 

I'll have to write these down, so I remember. Thanks for the suggestion Johan, it will be interesting yet sort of confusing/amusing to watch the Spanish one haha.

[Touche]

well I can almost bet that's been hurt before, he even told me about what happened to him in the past, which probably has made him a commitment phobe. he told me that his ex gf of awhile back, up'd and moved to vegas, got married and had kids for what reason I don't know, he said he dumped her for his own reasons. who knows, but I should've looked more closely to what he told me I'm guessing.

 

I'm glad to know that I still have my "almost" Goddess status

 

No, you're getting there.

 

And yes, you must watch for those signs I always harp about.

[chill chic]

CC, I really wouldn't see this as a defeat because this isn't about this guy at all but about YOU. I've been following your threads since your V I P days and I've seen a lot of improvement on how you approach the issues. This is probably the thread where you've shown the most improvement. Never forget the goddess program ok?

 

You do seem to lapse in between your old ways of thinking and the new opportunities that the guidance you got here has given you. I think today you are mourning the fact that you do have to slam this last guy out of your life and this is bringing you back to your old ways of thinking. That's fine. But remember that you are deciding to keep him out of your life.

 

Remember yesterday how empowered you felt when you decided he wasn't worth your time? Go reread what you wrote yesterday. That's you girl!

 

yeah I wanted to look back at those threads, and WOW I had some real issues back then too!

a refresher:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=2212916

[chill chic]

hmmmmm.....I was just looking up at my toolbar, and it said I had 4 aol messages, he's the only one that emails me at that address. then when I went into the inbox, there was 0. confused, I did a test, I sent one to myself, and in the sent box, there is an option to "unsend" email, so I clicked on that and poof! the email was deleted before it got to my inbox. I'm wondering if he finally looked at my myspage page to see that he's no longer on it

[Cobra_X30]

wow! well I don't know if I'd take it that far, yes he would think I was a psycho, maybe good in this matter, but ummm...nah I'll just ignore him instead

 

I don't think I'll be renting 300 either, it's a movie he was dying to see, so anything associated with him, I'd rather not involve myself in

 

 

Psycho? One, I thought we were past the point where it mattered what he thinks??? Does it matter?

 

Two, I am absolutely certain that he wasnt talking about the same 300. He was probably dying to see the gay porno version... I'm talking about the one that was in normal theaters!!!

[chill chic]

Psycho? One, I thought we were past the point where it mattered what he thinks??? Does it matter?

 

Two, I am absolutely certain that he wasnt talking about the same 300. He was probably dying to see the gay porno version... I'm talking about the one that was in normal theaters!!!

 

LOL you know what's funny is that he had a pic of himself wearing a cowboy hat on his webpage (he's not into country) apparently it was a joke but one of his friends made fun of him for looking like broke back mountain sooooooo you're probably right about the 300 part! he MIGHT just be gay, ewwwwwwww, I don't know unless he's trying to hide it.

[Cobra_X30]

LOL you know what's funny is that he had a pic of himself wearing a cowboy hat on his webpage (he's not into country) apparently it was a joke but one of his friends made fun of him for looking like broke back mountain sooooooo you're probably right about the 300 part! he MIGHT just be gay, ewwwwwwww, I don't know unless he's trying to hide it.

 

Naw, probably just "bi now, gay later"... LOL

 

Oh, brokeback mountain... that was the movie I was thinking about earlier! Whatever... its a girl movie too.

 

Your in a great spot to focus on your career! Go for it... its something you wont regret later. Oh and Touche is totally right you may want to just stay away from the dating scene for a few months... sometimes you find what you want when your not looking!

 

Example: I hit on my agent all the time!

[chill chic]

Naw, probably just "bi now, gay later"... LOL

 

Oh, brokeback mountain... that was the movie I was thinking about earlier! Whatever... its a girl movie too.

 

Your in a great spot to focus on your career! Go for it... its something you wont regret later. Oh and Touche is totally right you may want to just stay away from the dating scene for a few months... sometimes you find what you want when your not looking!

 

Example: I hit on my agent all the time!

 

 

that's funny I've never heard that phrase before lol.

 

yah I'm young at what I do, considering most agents are in their 40's so at least I'm a head of the game with that. so right now, nothing really else matters, I am going to take a break from guys, and I believe that if I do, and focus on my career instead, I'll become a much more well rounded person, and much stronger even. I don't want to have to rely on a guy. and I was just thinking on the way to work this morning, I've come to the realization that I'm literally obsessed with guys, I've always been boy crazy ever since I was younger:eek:

lol yah sometimes ya gotta flirt to get your way, to get cheaper insurance eh? it's vice versa with me, so it's an advantage

[Cobra_X30]

that's funny I've never heard that phrase before lol.

 

yah I'm young at what I do, considering most agents are in their 40's so at least I'm a head of the game with that. so right now, nothing really else matters, I am going to take a break from guys, and I believe that if I do, and focus on my career instead, I'll become a much more well rounded person, and much stronger even. I don't want to have to rely on a guy. and I was just thinking on the way to work this morning, I've come to the realization that I'm literally obsessed with guys, I've always been boy crazy ever since I was younger:eek:

lol yah sometimes ya gotta flirt to get your way, to get cheaper insurance eh? it's vice versa with me, so it's an advantage

 

Oh, Boy crazy, thats not a bad thing unless your boy crazy for crazy boys! LOL... now thats a tough habit to break!

 

I hit on my real estate agent! That industry is all about networking... and I'm awesome! Ive bought and sold a couple of places this year... so I can joke that I'm paying her bills!

 

My insurance agent... now thats a different story... I gotta hammer that guy to get me deals! You think I might do better to flirt with him a little?

[chill chic]

Oh yah, I forgot to tell you guys something about my old FWB. Over this past weekend I went to my friend's bachelorette party that was combined with her fiance's bachelor party lol crazy it sounds like but it was fun. Anyway, we all ended up later on that night at a strip club of course, since it's the "thing to do" at bachelor/ette parties. And we ended up at this strip club that my FWB went to a few times, that he told me about. So I got the jist of what he had been to before, got kinda uncomfortable since one night he was there with is friend and came home to me. So I wanted to give him my drunk 2 cents. I called him up, said that I was at that club he had been too, I know what you're all about, (I dunno something snobby I'm sure, not mean) but just ended it as a joke, telling him to call me back to have phone sex, since one of our last convos involved that. But he had drunk dialed me last about a month ago, this is a thread that I had started about that time:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126298/

 

anyway, yah I still think about him, and since he's planning on looking for a job back here, where he knows no one but me, I'm wondering if he's NOW being serious? He still hasn't changed his old number that he had here, and it's been a year. I wish I could figure out what he wants.

[oppath]

CC,

 

I don't want to speak as a man on behalf of the Goddesses here, but phone sex with an old FWB is one of the barriers preventing you from galloping towards Goddesshood.

 

To find out if he is now serious, don't talk with him sexually at all. If he moves into your town and wants to hang out, do it, but make it clear to him you aren't interested in a FWB relationship with him anymore. What I see happening is you accepting it under the hope it could lead to something more, and ultimately you being hurt when that doesn't happen. Is he someone you would want a relationship with? Then if you hang out, and you start talking sexually, tell him "I don't want that kind of relationship with you. I'm looking for a relationship, not a **** buddy, at this point in my life. If you are interested in dating me, tell me that, otherwise, I am only willing to be just friends."

[Kamille]

Oh yah, I forgot to tell you guys something about my old FWB. Over this past weekend I went to my friend's bachelorette party that was combined with her fiance's bachelor party lol crazy it sounds like but it was fun. Anyway, we all ended up later on that night at a strip club of course, since it's the "thing to do" at bachelor/ette parties. And we ended up at this strip club that my FWB went to a few times, that he told me about. So I got the jist of what he had been to before, got kinda uncomfortable since one night he was there with is friend and came home to me. So I wanted to give him my drunk 2 cents. I called him up, said that I was at that club he had been too, I know what you're all about, (I dunno something snobby I'm sure, not mean) but just ended it as a joke, telling him to call me back to have phone sex, since one of our last convos involved that. But he had drunk dialed me last about a month ago, this is a thread that I had started about that time:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126298/

 

anyway, yah I still think about him, and since he's planning on looking for a job back here, where he knows no one but me, I'm wondering if he's NOW being serious? He still hasn't changed his old number that he had here, and it's been a year. I wish I could figure out what he wants.

 

I be the phone sex nazi: no more phone sex for you!

 

CC... you have a very weird relationship to sexuality. It's almost like you think that you need to 'lure' men in with sex. You of all people most likely don't. You're a sweet, funny, smart, ambitious woman.

 

It's really simple and very logical: The only guys you'll attract in your life and keep in your life with this approach are guys who are only in it for the sex. Besides, men are as multifaceted as women - and you need to see that they do enjoy being approached as more complex beings then simple horn dogs.

 

Goddesses know they are in and by themselves worthy of a true gentleman's attention.

[oppath]

Besides, men are as multifaceted as women - and you need to see that they do enjoy being approached as more complex beings then simple horn dogs.

 

Yes, we are. And we can be deeply hurt when we are objectified and used. With out egos, that's probably why we sometimes go out and use after we've been hurt. Most of us want to be seen as whole people, not as objects for sexual gratification, just as women do. So if you use sex to lure, you are mostly going to lure men who only want sex. If you use your whole personality and charm to lure, you are going to attract people who want to share their whole person with you.