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The "Good Guy" Update


chill chic

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I don't know about that. Being the goddess of neither regions, makes me laugh because it affords all kinds of room to play, depending on mood. I prefer it. :bunny:

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Haha...what do you think unders? Either, neither or even Goddess of all it entails. You can define "it", in any way, depending on mood.

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Goddess of Merkins?

 

Yes, this is the Japanese derivitive of my Goddess like power. I am known by many names and designs.

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I am proud of you too CC! Learn to be selective and to walk away from men who don't treat you the way you want to be treated. I am a trainee-goddess myself. You'll see, the only thing that will happen is that the duds will weed themselves out. And meanwhile, you'll have less drama in your life, your self-esteem will get better and you'll generally feel happier.

 

Thanks Kamille :) Yah I'm starting to weed out those guys, and so far I'm left with ohh...not many to choose from lol. but that's OK, I have plenty of time, and I'm not going to rush into anything just yet.

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Thanks Kamille :) Yah I'm starting to weed out those guys, and so far I'm left with ohh...not many to choose from lol. but that's OK, I have plenty of time, and I'm not going to rush into anything just yet.

 

Well of course. The higher your standards, the less men you have to choose from it seems. Hey, good things don't usually come easily though, right?

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Well of course. The higher your standards, the less men you have to choose from it seems. Hey, good things don't usually come easily though, right?

 

Hey Touche :)

 

Well I was looking back at how often this guy & I contact, and lately (like in the past month) it was an average twice a week, whether it's email or phone. So now since I haven't heard from him since Sunday, it's making me a lil nervous, JUST because we experienced that together for the first time together, so...I guess I'm thinking it should be different, but maybe he's still on his same wave length? I'm just getting a (little) impatient again :(

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Hey, CC...I think he should be stepping it up now. But that's just me. I still wouldn't contact him since you contacted him last.

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Hey, CC...I think he should be stepping it up now. But that's just me. I still wouldn't contact him since you contacted him last.

 

ok :( sigh...

 

and yep I'm keeping my word still until he contacts me, but now I'm getting curious, what if I did email him? that would be bad on my part I know, but I WANT to stick to my guns on this one and not make any contact until he does.

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ok :( sigh...

 

and yep I'm keeping my word still until he contacts me, but now I'm getting curious, what if I did email him? that would be bad on my part I know, but I WANT to stick to my guns on this one and not make any contact until he does.

 

You can do it! Remember, we're trying to make you into a Goddess so you better get with the program, cc!:p;)

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You can do it! Remember, we're trying to make you into a Goddess so you better get with the program, cc!:p;)

 

lol thanks Touche, yah I have to remember the "Goddess" part ;):D

 

ok one question though...hehe...why do you think he hasn't yet? sometimes his contact is once a week when he's really busy, and I know he told me when I left that day that he'd be in contact with me but told me he'd be out of town this weekend, so he'll get in touch with me which probably meant AFTER he got back, BUT what he doesn't realize is that I'm the type of girl, and (NOW not trying to be, working on that-->) that needs validation, in this case, from a guy, from him.

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You really want me to tell you why I think he hasn't? Where's SG when we need her? She went through a similar thing recently and posted about it. But the reason I think he hasn't is because he's not really serious about you. You're a booty call to him and not much more. He was pursuing you and now that he got what he wanted, he feels like he doesn't have to try anymore. Like you'll just be available to him when you want him to be.

 

That's what my gut is strongly saying to me on this one. But let's see what other Goddesses think.

 

When and if he contacts you again, I'd play it really cool. Don't be so available to him.

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You really want me to tell you why I think he hasn't? Where's SG when we need her? She went through a similar thing recently and posted about it. But the reason I think he hasn't is because he's not really serious about you. You're a booty call to him and not much more. He was pursuing you and now that he got what he wanted, he feels like he doesn't have to try anymore. Like you'll just be available to him when you want him to be.

 

That's what my gut is strongly saying to me on this one. But let's see what other Goddesses think.

 

When and if he contacts you again, I'd play it really cool. Don't be so available to him.

 

uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh :mad: I hope that's not the case, if so, he's the biggest jerk I've come across so far, because he's the one that has shown me respect and we'd have intellectual conversations, whereas my other "guys" would just be for fun, so I came to treat it like that and not worry so much about them. But this one, and if he is thinking the way you said, has really f'd with my head. now I'm beginning to miss my first ever FWB (that baseball dude I've posted about) guy that contacted me a few weeks ago, after I hadn't for 4 months. Whenever I'm in a down mood I always resort back to him, I think because I was with him for so long and we'd talk or see each other every week. I don't know why that is, that I always start missing him when stuff like this happens. :(

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I could be wrong, cc. Don't freak out yet. Wait to see but it's just beginning to look that way.

 

I don't know about your other guy. Maybe he's like a security blanket to you?

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I could be wrong, cc. Don't freak out yet. Wait to see but it's just beginning to look that way.

 

I don't know about your other guy. Maybe he's like a security blanket to you?

 

ok I'll keep breathing ;)

 

yah the other guy, wow I had a hard time with that too, especially after he left to move back to his hometown, we left as friends, I cried in his arms when he left, and it took me about 6 months to get passed most of it. then when he started to not keep contact after he was gone, then I did the same thing back to him, and didn't call him for 4 months. then he called me one night and asked if I wanted to go to a Cubs game with him, since he played for the Cubs, but it was short notice, and I didn't end up going. He said there would be plenty more games to go to. I asked if him if he was still seeing this girl he had told me about the last time I talked to him, and he told me that he dumped her, I asked why, he said she wasn't as cool as me, then he brought up marrying me, kind of as a joke, but I don't know I think there is some unfinished business between me and him and something deeper is there, but still I'm not sure. He even told me that he's looking for a job up here so he can move back here, not knowing literally anyone but me here. And I'd want him to come back, I just can't tell if he's being serious and when it would happen. I called & left a message saying that I could get tickets for when the Cubs come to my town on/around his bday but haven't heard from him, which isn't odd either, but the point of the matter is that he had finally come back after I STOPPPED contact with him, either for an ego boost, for genuine feelings toward me that he missed me. I still do not know, but we had a relationship for over a year and a half. :confused:

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ok I'll keep breathing ;)

 

yah the other guy, wow I had a hard time with that too, especially after he left to move back to his hometown, we left as friends, I cried in his arms when he left, and it took me about 6 months to get passed most of it. then when he started to not keep contact after he was gone, then I did the same thing back to him, and didn't call him for 4 months. then he called me one night and asked if I wanted to go to a Cubs game with him, since he played for the Cubs, but it was short notice, and I didn't end up going. He said there would be plenty more games to go to. I asked if him if he was still seeing this girl he had told me about the last time I talked to him, and he told me that he dumped her, I asked why, he said she wasn't as cool as me, then he brought up marrying me, kind of as a joke, but I don't know I think there is some unfinished business between me and him and something deeper is there, but still I'm not sure. He even told me that he's looking for a job up here so he can move back here, not knowing literally anyone but me here. And I'd want him to come back, I just can't tell if he's being serious and when it would happen. I called & left a message saying that I could get tickets for when the Cubs come to my town on/around his bday but haven't heard from him, which isn't odd either, but the point of the matter is that he had finally come back after I STOPPPED contact with him, either for an ego boost, for genuine feelings toward me that he missed me. I still do not know, but we had a relationship for over a year and a half. :confused:

 

Hi everyone, trainee goddess reporting after a sweet little date... Yes I'll even add in a lovey emoticon: :love:.

 

Lots of things CC, first, don't worry if all of a suddent it seems like there is no decent guy around. I think one of the reasons I follow up on your threads a lot is because I recognize myself in you. Up until last year, I would hang on to any attention from guys I liked even when they showed me signs or even told me that they weren't interested in me.

 

Then a friend told me: "Men are easy. If a man sends mixed messages, it's because he isn't worth your time. If a man says he is not ready for a relationship, he means it."

 

That's why I pulled out your last quote. Yes, Touche is right. This guy is your security blanket but you need to empower yourself and realize that he hasn't pulled through for you. He isn't what you want.

 

The faster you identify and get rid of the ones who won't pull through, the more you will be available to meet men who are ready to be with you.

 

Like you, after I started really 'cleaning out' my 'maybes', I felt like there were not that many decent guys left around. But something has been happening. Since I've stopped letting doosies undermine my self-esteem, men have been raining in my life. I think it has made me more approachable and way more confident because I now know that I won't let myself get caught up in bad situations. As a result, the men who do ask me out have been treating me like gold and it only keeps getting better.

 

And by now I'm enjoying this newfound power so much that I'm in no rush to settle down with anyone just yet.

 

So it is going to be a process but it's definitely worth it! If this 'good guy' doesn't call - then you are better off without him.

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Some really good advice from both Touche and Kamille. Value yourself and with it comes a natural filter for the guys you don't want. :)

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ok one quick note before my laptop loses juice.

and thanks kamille & tbf for the last 2. ;) I'll reply more tomorrow while I'm at work when it's not busy.

 

all the while that I'm not contacting him, what do you think he's thinking that I'm doing? that I'm playing the game or not interested, or he can tell I'm waiting for him or what? just curious hehe :cool:

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