Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 so very true about the stalker part haha I've had 2 stalkers in my life and I don't want to be one myself, because that's freaky. anyway, well we know each other enough, like we talk about our families, our jobs, hobbies, but I'm sure there is plenty more to know about each other. what would be his self-defense mechanism? yah I'm beginning to wonder if this would be worth it, and now I'm beginning to think that since he seems to not have time for any girl at the moment, he probably feels lucky he got to sleep with me, and now his interest is worn off, because he got what the wanted Dont take this the wrong way but sometimes you come across as kind of a breezy girl. Now I've got a strong heart, and no fear... but I refuse to let myself get hurt. So, to protect myself, many times I will hang back emotionally until you really build up that trust piggy bank with me. That could be what he is doing right now... but seriously its hard to tell. Dont get too involved with a guy who has a job you cant take. My best friend is an airforce pilot... half his girlfriends dont realize they cant take him bieng gone all the time until way late into the relationship. Try not to make that mistake. Do you think this guy is really just running a hump and dump on you?? He sure put alot of time into it if thats the case! Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 ok thanks, yah I wanted to see what someone else would think, so good, I'm glad I didn't act on my impulse and yah the ball is in his court because I was the last to email (to his reply) right? The ball his in his court because of the emails, sure, but mostly because you two had sex. All of society knows that once that happens, it is up to the man, if he is a gentleman, to step up to the plate. Having sex makes women feel vulnerable and made freak out a little. Krytellan has a trhead on exactly this topic but from the male point of view. You waiting for him to call you acheives three things: 1. it gives him time to calm down if needs be. start missing you. put things i perspective 2. if he does call, you won't feel so vulnerable anymore. but you'll still need to keep things in perspective, ok Chill? His calling won't mean you're exclusive and you will need to show some restraint over the fact that it took him so long to get in touch with you. 3. if he doesn't call, you know he's a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 You mean you still haven't heard from him? No email, call, nothing? It's a week later now. I'd write this guy off for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 You mean you still haven't heard from him? No email, call, nothing? It's a week later now. I'd write this guy off for good. yep nothing...F N punk is all I gotta say. you snooze you lose with me, I give him until the end of today since whenever he's out of town he'll write me an email on that Sunday night. so...IF NOT, screw it, I'm done with these lame a** jerks. uhhh..I feel so used & abused right now. he's the only guy though that went through alot of trouble if he was only in it just for one thing. that is what has been striking me as odd in this case. I mean yah it was fun for me too, but the girl in the situation ALWAYS ends up feeling hurt in someway. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Sorry, CC. What a jerk! This is why you have to make sure you have the real deal before you sleep with a man. What a low life that guy is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Sorry, CC. What a jerk! This is why you have to make sure you have the real deal before you sleep with a man. What a low life that guy is. yah I don't get it, I'm always a nice girl to these jerk offs, especially to this particular guy and now this? how do I show him that i"m not upset by this? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 yah I don't get it, I'm always a nice girl to these jerk offs, especially to this particular guy and now this? how do I show him that i"m not upset by this? Why would you want to show him you are not upset? Unless he contacts you, you have no reason to show him anything. If he does, you are almost obligated to show him that you did not like the fact it took him a week to contact you after the deed. You are upset. Why act like you're not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 well what I meant was, that the best revenge of this would be..is to not contact him again correct? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 yah I don't get it, I'm always a nice girl to these jerk offs, especially to this particular guy and now this? how do I show him that i"m not upset by this? You have to completely ignore him. Don't worry about showing him anything. He's not worth giving him another thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Why would you want to show him you are not upset? Unless he contacts you, you have no reason to show him anything. If he does, you are almost obligated to show him that you did not like the fact it took him a week to contact you after the deed. You are upset. Why act like you're not? yah I kinda rephrased that, but you're right, and if he does, I'll let him know, (not sure how to say it to him) that I'm not happy it took him a week to contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 You have to completely ignore him. Don't worry about showing him anything. He's not worth giving him another thought. so like ignoring him if he does contact me, like if he did today, just don't get back to him right away right? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Maybe I'm weird but I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of knowing I was upset. He might think I cared if I did that. I'd completely ignore him. I wouldn't talk to him at all. Or just tell him it's nice to finally hear from him but you're busy and say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 so like ignoring him if he does contact me, like if he did today, just don't get back to him right away right? CC, I wouldn't get back to him at ALL. What's the point? He was rude to you. Do you still want to have something to do with him after this? Then get back to him if that's what you want. If you don't, and you're really trying to change your pattern, there's no reason to get back to him. He'll get the message. Don't agonize and struggle over this. You need to just cut him out. He's not worthy. Don't waste more time on him. The more time you waste with him, the longer it will be before you find the right guy for you. And you already knows he's not it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Maybe I'm weird but I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of knowing I was upset. He might think I cared if I did that. I'd completely ignore him. I wouldn't talk to him at all. Or just tell him it's nice to finally hear from him but you're busy and say goodbye. well that's what I want to be/act like, because to me, happiness is the best revenge, it's always helped me feel better about myself, so when I show a guy that I'm not bothered by his ignorance, unless I'm bf/gf with him than hopefully he feels it's his loss, because I'm HAPPY to find someone else, ie secure with myself, and not going to let a guy get me down. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 well that's what I want to be/act like, because to me, happiness is the best revenge, it's always helped me feel better about myself, so when I show a guy that I'm not bothered by his ignorance, unless I'm bf/gf with him than hopefully he feels it's his loss, because I'm HAPPY to find someone else, ie secure with myself, and not going to let a guy get me down. Yes, that's a very good attitude to have. So now, you know what to do if he calls/emails, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 CC, I wouldn't get back to him at ALL. What's the point? He was rude to you. Do you still want to have something to do with him after this? Then get back to him if that's what you want. If you don't, and you're really trying to change your pattern, there's no reason to get back to him. He'll get the message. Don't agonize and struggle over this. You need to just cut him out. He's not worthy. Don't waste more time on him. The more time you waste with him, the longer it will be before you find the right guy for you. And you already knows he's not it. Again a touche for Touche, CC, I think that Touche and I are seeing this from the point of view that you should by now have made up your mind to dump this guy, ie, that this guy isn't worth your time. You are most likely hoping that somehow he will prove himself worthy of you. The reason I say that if he gets in touch with you you should not hesitate to let him know you're upset is because, in the long run, you have nothing to lose. You don't need a guy who neglects you then expects you to be chipper about it in your life. If anything, you need a guy who understands how you want to be treated. And this means that you have to take responsibility for all the emotions you have gone through this week and speak up for yourself. If he bolts, good riddance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 CC, I wouldn't get back to him at ALL. What's the point? He was rude to you. Do you still want to have something to do with him after this? Then get back to him if that's what you want. If you don't, and you're really trying to change your pattern, there's no reason to get back to him. He'll get the message. Don't agonize and struggle over this. You need to just cut him out. He's not worthy. Don't waste more time on him. The more time you waste with him, the longer it will be before you find the right guy for you. And you already knows he's not it. ahh yes that made me smile and what you said earlier, about if he does, that's what I'm going to say, just LIKE that, even the "goodbye" part, love it haha. I'm staring to like this feeling, it's unfortunate of course, but it's making it easier for me to figure out beforehand how I guy might act, and how I should act back when this happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Yes, that's a very good attitude to have. So now, you know what to do if he calls/emails, right? missed these while I was writing. Totally agree that moving on is the best revenge. I'm just not sure that ignoring him will be possible for CC. Plus I think the exercise of speaking up for herself could be beneficial. CC, do you think you can ignore his calls? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Again a touche for Touche, CC, I think that Touche and I are seeing this from the point of view that you should by now have made up your mind to dump this guy, ie, that this guy isn't worth your time. You are most likely hoping that somehow he will prove himself worthy of you. The reason I say that if he gets in touch with you you should not hesitate to let him know you're upset is because, in the long run, you have nothing to lose. You don't need a guy who neglects you then expects you to be chipper about it in your life. If anything, you need a guy who understands how you want to be treated. And this means that you have to take responsibility for all the emotions you have gone through this week and speak up for yourself. If he bolts, good riddance. Thanks, Kamille. But I'm not sure what you are saying here. Are you saying that cc should tell him she's upset and see if he still sticks around? NO! I hope you're not saying that. It's too late. He's shown himself to be a jerk already. Why keep him around. It's not like he'll never be a jerk again. He's already shown his true colors. They're no reason in hell to see how he'll react to her being upset. Why would she want him after this. I'll stand by what I said to NOT show him your upset at all. There's no point in it. Let cc have her dignity back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Again a touche for Touche, CC, I think that Touche and I are seeing this from the point of view that you should by now have made up your mind to dump this guy, ie, that this guy isn't worth your time. You are most likely hoping that somehow he will prove himself worthy of you. The reason I say that if he gets in touch with you you should not hesitate to let him know you're upset is because, in the long run, you have nothing to lose. You don't need a guy who neglects you then expects you to be chipper about it in your life. If anything, you need a guy who understands how you want to be treated. And this means that you have to take responsibility for all the emotions you have gone through this week and speak up for yourself. If he bolts, good riddance. oh I'll be chipper alright that I'm not going to be talking/seeing him anymore not that I care, but this is more feeling for myself, but do you think he thinks I'm "stupid" for sleeping with him after...4 months of knowing him? or he thinks I'm easy? LIKE I said, I don't care what he thinks, but that sex part is kinda bothering me. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 missed these while I was writing. Totally agree that moving on is the best revenge. I'm just not sure that ignoring him will be possible for CC. Plus I think the exercise of speaking up for herself could be beneficial. CC, do you think you can ignore his calls? I don't agree, Kamille. I'm sorry. It will be more beneficial for CC to ignore him. She had it right. The best revenge is moving on and being happy..not showing she was upset. He didn't care so why should she show him that she did? That won't help her self-esteem at all. I'm sure CC can ignore his calls...if they ever come. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 oh I'll be chipper alright that I'm not going to be talking/seeing him anymore not that I care, but this is more feeling for myself, but do you think he thinks I'm "stupid" for sleeping with him after...4 months of knowing him? or he thinks I'm easy? LIKE I said, I don't care what he thinks, but that sex part is kinda bothering me. Don't worry about the sex part. Just chalk it up as a good learning experience and go on. Act like you used HIM the way he used you. You're dumping his ass, not the other way around. Take that attitude and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Don't worry about the sex part. Just chalk it up as a good learning experience and go on. Act like you used HIM the way he used you. You're dumping his ass, not the other way around. Take that attitude and you'll be fine. sweet, that's all I want to hear Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 sweet, that's all I want to hear Great, cc. You can do this. We're going to make a goddess of you yet! I mean your attitude and demeanor has to much your outer beauty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Great, cc. You can do this. We're going to make a goddess of you yet! I mean your attitude and demeanor has to much your outer beauty. I'm liking the goddess, haha my mom called me that yesterday but she was looking at my hair, that's funny. but yep I'm understanding that now, it's all gotta match and that way I'll attract the decent, well mannered, worthwile guys. hopefully, we'll see Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts