Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 (no offense RC) But that is not the institutions fault....... That's the fault of the two people that entered into it unprepared for the reality of it...... - whether as other or spouse (or both). I blame people.</p> I'm sorry but...you don't have an institution without "people" you don't have marriage without "people" So I believe it is the institution and the marriages' fault...if something does not work for the majority of the "people" there is no need for the insitution let it be marriage or govenment or prison for that matter Took the words right out my mouth. The common denominator is still "people" the idea that a marriage certificate changes the psychology of people is more what we should focus on. But I much prefered the chat where we were reinventing marriage. I needed the good laugh. Thanks RC a MUCH needed thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Oh now you're using your noodle, you are definitely on to something here. Demerit points that's excactly what's needed. Point for each infraction and the the possibility of losing the lisence. But then what about the equivalent of drunk driving, a rel. without alcohol could be a problem. I THOUGHT MY IDEA WAS PRETTY GOOD! I MUST SAY,, there is nothing perfect, but I thought it was pretty damn close!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted August 22, 2007 Author Share Posted August 22, 2007 (no offense RC) Marriage is what you make of it. If you go into only thinking about yourself and what's in it for you, you will find out how empty you are as a person. Everything in life is meant to make us grow. Marriage is not exempt. I mean, if you learned and grew in Kindergarten, how much more can you grow as an adult in an intimate relationship (married or not, actually). If one's only goal in a relationship is to "get there's", that's all you will walk away with. Maybe I'm just too much of a real romantic to allow an A, either one that I participated in or one that was committed by my partner, to be so jaded about marriage. Or to put all my beliefs onto the statistics that support my dismal views. Its true that not every marriage is a happy one. But that is not the institutions fault. That's the fault of the two people that entered into it unprepared for the reality of it. If the people in the marriages took responsibility for each other's well-being, then maybe their marriages might not be so bad. Happily ever after is a myth if all you thought you had to do is walk down the isle in front of a bunch of family and friends. I do tend to agree that the character of the young adults coming up from "baby-boomer"-headed households in the US is terribly lacking in compassion, yet brimming over with comtempt for others, envy, and selfishness, though. Materialistic doesn't even begin to touch on it. This "me-first" mentality permeates everything, not just marriage. I can't drive down the road without somebody cutting me off for having the nerve to go the speed limit. I can't go shopping without some rude teenagers acting me and my kids are bothering them by not getting out of their most entitled way. I can't even go to church without some other parishoner acting like the seat I sat in belongs to them. Marriage is not the culprit of these changes, people are. Its not fair to blame marriage because one had a bad go of one or two - whether as other or spouse (or both). I blame people. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. If you found this sad, then why post your views in such an articulated fashion. DIN't you are more than welcome to voice your opinion! You have your views and other's have theirs as well. Happy, sad, whatever! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I'm sorry but...you don't have an institution without "people" you don't have marriage without "people" So I believe it is the institution and the marriages' fault...if something does not work for the majority of the "people" there is no need for the insitution let it be marriage or govenment or prison for that matter I am sorry that you feel that way. You are right that you can't have a marriage without "people", but that's true of any relationships. Which is my point. Why blame the relationship? Why not blame the people in it? That's all I am saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 keeps everyone in line, I suppose. and if it is really over, its not so damn complicated Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted August 22, 2007 Author Share Posted August 22, 2007 Oh now you're using your noodle, you are definitely on to something here. Demerit points that's excactly what's needed. Point for each infraction and the the possibility of losing the lisence. But then what about the equivalent of drunk driving, a rel. without alcohol could be a problem. Okay alcohol can be a merit for "changing the mind"......as in "yes I'm soooo happy".....LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I THOUGHT MY IDEA WAS PRETTY GOOD! I MUST SAY,, there is nothing perfect, but I thought it was pretty damn close!!! Au contraire mon frere, not to take away from your brilliant idea, and that it was. But like every great invention there is always spawned versions from originals, you still hold the rights to the original idea. Welcome to capitalism. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I am sorry that you feel that way. You are right that you can't have a marriage without "people", but that's true of any relationships. Which is my point. Why blame the relationship? Why not blame the people in it? That's all I am saying. We all agree that relationships are needed in life, we have more than stated the benefits, it's the "marriage" that kills in Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 my concept , involes two people who are in love, commited to tie the knot. and give it there best. Have you thought about the idea when marriage was created, people did not live so long either, age expectancy was what 38, 40, 45, a hundred years ago? So till death do us part, wasnt really THAT LONG. So today , the way we live thats like really 2 lifetimes. Am I losing it??? I think I am:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt & Alone Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Oh now you're using your noodle, you are definitely on to something here. Demerit points that's excactly what's needed. Point for each infraction and the the possibility of losing the lisence. But then what about the equivalent of drunk driving, a rel. without alcohol could be a problem. have to define the infractions: 1. You left the toilet seat up again 2. distrubing noises coming from behind the bathroom doors 3. Damn sports again Please add and please bring me that damn bottle Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Okay alcohol can be a merit for "changing the mind"......as in "yes I'm soooo happy".....LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO :lmao::lmao: I agree. Besides we're allowed beer googles in public places like say a singles bar, we should most definitely be allowed to wear them in the confines of our own homes. I think we just stumbled upon our first clause. Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt & Alone Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 my concept , involes two people who are in love, commited to tie the knot. and give it there best. Have you thought about the idea when marriage was created, people did not live so long either, age expectancy was what 38, 40, 45, a hundred years ago? So till death do us part, wasnt really THAT LONG. So today , the way we live thats like really 2 lifetimes. Am I losing it??? I think I am:lmao: I cant say for sure but i could only imagine people thought the same then too. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 do tend to agree that the character of the young adults coming up from "baby-boomer"-headed households in the US is terribly lacking in compassion, yet brimming over with comtempt for others, envy, and selfishness, though. Materialistic doesn't even begin to touch on it. This "me-first" mentality permeates everything, not just marriage. {snip} Marriage is not the culprit of these changes, people are. Its not fair to blame marriage because one had a bad go of one or two - whether as other or spouse (or both). I blame people. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I've got to agree with you NID. As a baby-boomer who was responsible for raising three of the people who are part of the X-generation, I am afraid that we (the baby boomers) did a terrible job of raising children. We managed to bring into being some of the most completely self-centered people who have ever graced our planet. We wanted the best for our children, as did our parents, but our own inability to see our parents point of view created even more problems when faced with raising our own children. Anyway, back to the OP's original question/comment. I think that marriage may see a short-term cessation, however, IMHO it is an institution that has long-term desirability. Raising children is a small part of marriage but the benefits for the children of having two parents has been proved over and over again in many studies. Do the parents need to be married to one another? No, obviously not. Is it desirable? probably, simply for the stability that marriage affords if nothing else. Marriage does afford stability for children, even if it has no other benefit. The sad thing that I also find about this thread, though, is that marriage is really a wonderful institution if the people who are involved in it truly love one another and want the best for their partner. The problem (as I see it) though is that fewer and fewer people of the current generation are interested in the betterment of their partner, and instead are interested only in the betterment of themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 have to define the infractions: 1. You left the toilet seat up again 2. distrubing noises coming from behind the bathroom doors 3. Damn sports again Please add and please bring me that damn bottle 4. Did I seriously just wash underware with skid marks! Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt & Alone Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 4. Did I seriously just wash underware with skid marks! hhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I need the depends now Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 If one is a religious person and believes their holy book, then the life expectancy of the people in the first marriage was far more than 38. Try 638 or more. But then again, men usually also had more than one W back then as dying in childbirth was a lot more common. But I digress on that..... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 MINO my concept , involes two people who are in love, commited to tie the knot. and give it there best. Have you thought about the idea when marriage was created, people did not live so long either, age expectancy was what 38, 40, 45, a hundred years ago? So till death do us part, wasnt really THAT LONG. So today , the way we live thats like really 2 lifetimes. Am I losing it??? I think I am:lmao: I cant say for sure but i could only imagine people thought the same then too. Ohhh Mino you are SO on a roll tonight, right again my friend!! I hope you are saving this thread I'm telling you you are def on to something here. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt & Alone Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 5. please dont pick that in public, people are watching Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 4. Did I seriously just wash underware with skid marks! :lmao: 5. This is the absolute last time I wash the dried hair shavings with dried up shaving cream off of the bathtub and tiles. 6. We are not getting a bouble King sized mattress learn to sleep on your side of the bed or I'm reporting you. And don't even think of snoring before I fall a sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Ok, do I really want to get into the Kids and religion thing????no, pass the bottle and bring on #6.............Just because the girl in the porno got that to fit there doesn't mean I can Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I agree that people are certainly entitled to their opinions, but I don't see the point for attempting to ridicule me for mine. My opinion is that its sad that a group of people that have had failed relationships have now passed sentence on the one they had the worst experience with - whether it was theirs or someone elses. And that's all it is. My opinion. Nothing threatening about that. I have had many bad friendships, but I don't think that friendship is overrated. I will just be more careful when venturing into a new one, that's all. I don't see intimate relationships as any different in that regard. I am not trying to get anyone to see my view as the right one. Just adding my two cents like everyone else has. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 5. please dont pick that in public, people are watching :lmao: don't even THINK of coming within a foot of me with that finger, let a lone touching me. Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt & Alone Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 No seriousily honey, my body cant bend that way Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Ok, do I really want to get into the Kids and religion thing????no, pass the bottle and bring on #6.............Just because the girl in the porno got that to fit there doesn't mean I can 8 is it? 8. Meet Mr. Black and Blue. If I have to do what the chick in the porn did I have to return the favour with Mr. Black and Blue. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 and unless you look like the guy with the girl in the porno...forget about it Link to post Share on other sites
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