Two Questions...

[Hurt & Alone]

and unless you look like the guy with the girl in the porno...forget about it

 

Not just looks honey, I am referring to the size as well

[lost4ever]

true that!sorry I forgot he had a face

[Hurt & Alone]

Better off with a paper bag...leaves more for the imagination

[RealityCheck]

Better off with a paper bag...leaves more for the imagination

 

Oh my goodness! Did I miss some goodies. Company rolled in and I actually got to be myself.....because I don't have anyone pecking me to watch myself.......LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

[RealityCheck]

I've got to agree with you NID. As a baby-boomer who was responsible for raising three of the people who are part of the X-generation, I am afraid that we (the baby boomers) did a terrible job of raising children. We managed to bring into being some of the most completely self-centered people who have ever graced our planet. We wanted the best for our children, as did our parents, but our own inability to see our parents point of view created even more problems when faced with raising our own children.

 

Anyway, back to the OP's original question/comment. I think that marriage may see a short-term cessation, however, IMHO it is an institution that has long-term desirability. Raising children is a small part of marriage but the benefits for the children of having two parents has been proved over and over again in many studies. Do the parents need to be married to one another? No, obviously not. Is it desirable? probably, simply for the stability that marriage affords if nothing else.

 

Marriage does afford stability for children, even if it has no other benefit. The sad thing that I also find about this thread, though, is that marriage is really a wonderful institution if the people who are involved in it truly love one another and want the best for their partner. The problem (as I see it) though is that fewer and fewer people of the current generation are interested in the betterment of their partner, and instead are interested only in the betterment of themselves.

 

In today's world we have Sperm Banks.

 

Actually I know a few woman who went to the sperm banks simply because they wanted to be a parent and not married. They have raised their kids quite successfully without the Doner.

[NoIDidn't]

Women that go to sperm banks can't contact the donor anyway. They aren't even allowed to know the man's real name. And in most instances, they can't even see pictures of him. The staff picks the man that meets the woman's criteria and looks like the woman that's seeking the sperm to lessen the chance that the child looks like some strange man that no one ever knew her to date.

 

I don't know what Sperm Banks have to do with marriage though.

 

Oh wait, its the fact that Silk implied marriage is good for raising children. Well, according to research, it is. But I am sure that doesn't fit the majority opinion that marriage is bad and overrated just because it didn't work for them.

 

BTW, I happen to agree that single parents can raise very capable, intelligent children. I was raised by one (mostly). But I am sure that she would have loved the help (physical and financial).

 

 

Imagine the day, though, when men can go to an Ovum/Egg Bank and bypass having a cranky, crabby, moody pregnant woman on their hands for the child that THEY want and can raise without HER too. I shudder at the thought....

[PoshPrincess]

Oh wait' date=' its the fact that Silk implied marriage is good for raising children. Well, according to research, it is. [/quote']

 

HAPPY MARRIAGE is good for children.

 

Great thread BTW. Am only just catching up this morning as I am SOOOO bored at work. I could also do with a glass or five of that wine if there's any going spare!

 

I really like Mino's idea of licence renewal. V smart.

 

I too feel that the concept of marriage is outdated. Women now have much more freewill than they did 50 years ago. They have lives outside the four walls of their M and kids. As have always gone on and always will and this is because (IMO) there is more than one person for us all out there. I think we need different people for different times and different situations in our lives. I really don't believe that one person can meet all our needs and certainly not for 40 years or more of our lives. People change and grow all the time and couples DO outgrow each other. Some settle down at a young age and have kids. We change SO much in those 20 years between having the kids and the kids leaving home that when the kids DO go we realise we have nothing in common with our partner anymore. It IS very sad but I just think it's the way of modern life.

[Woggle]

In today's world we have Sperm Banks.

 

Actually I know a few woman who went to the sperm banks simply because they wanted to be a parent and not married. They have raised their kids quite successfully without the Doner.

 

And we all see how well that has played out for a generation of men with no male guidance in their lives. Just look at how well this has played out in poor ghettos across the country. Feminists who think raising kids without fathers is some great statement of female independence make me sick.

 

I agree that marriage is not the problem but the people in the marriage. The problem is that most people these days are completely impossible to have any type of healthy relationship with. If this new way is so liberating why does everybody seem so damn stressed out and miserable these days?

[RealityCheck]

Women that go to sperm banks can't contact the donor anyway. They aren't even allowed to know the man's real name. And in most instances, they can't even see pictures of him. The staff picks the man that meets the woman's criteria and looks like the woman that's seeking the sperm to lessen the chance that the child looks like some strange man that no one ever knew her to date.

 

I don't know what Sperm Banks have to do with marriage though.

 

Oh wait, its the fact that Silk implied marriage is good for raising children. Well, according to research, it is. But I am sure that doesn't fit the majority opinion that marriage is bad and overrated just because it didn't work for them.

 

BTW, I happen to agree that single parents can raise very capable, intelligent children. I was raised by one (mostly). But I am sure that she would have loved the help (physical and financial).

 

 

Imagine the day, though, when men can go to an Ovum/Egg Bank and bypass having a cranky, crabby, moody pregnant woman on their hands for the child that THEY want and can raise without HER too. I shudder at the thought....

 

I feel it would be wonderful if men had the option. I totally agree that women can be nasty bit*ches without being pregnant. I also feel there are some men that make fantastic fathers and very poor husbands. I know plenty of those.

[RealityCheck]

And we all see how well that has played out for a generation of men with no male guidance in their lives. Just look at how well this has played out in poor ghettos across the country. Feminists who think raising kids without fathers is some great statement of female independence make me sick.

 

I agree that marriage is not the problem but the people in the marriage. The problem is that most people these days are completely impossible to have any type of healthy relationship with. If this new way is so liberating why does everybody seem so damn stressed out and miserable these days?

 

Really? So you believe its the generation and not life circumstance that creates ghettos? Hmmmm....

 

Personally I like a boy to carry my books home from school, but the reality is the world has changed.

 

I have no problem with women who love the idea of marriage. I simply do not. However, I am not one of them.

 

I do not feel that people can expand their growth in a marriage. Experience is very limited and experience is growth.

 

I would like to ask you, do you have a career?

[Woggle]

Really? So you believe its the generation and not life circumstance that creates ghettos? Hmmmm....

 

Personally I like a boy to carry my books home from school, but the reality is the world has changed.

 

I have no problem with women who love the idea of marriage. I simply do not. However, I am not one of them.

 

I do not feel that people can expand their growth in a marriage. Experience is very limited and experience is growth.

 

I would like to ask you, do you have a career?

 

It is partly the generation. Fatherlessness has had a devestating affect on many people especially in poor black communities. It happens within all communities as well. Of course circumstances create ghettos but I know immigrants living in one room apartments with their families that seem happier and have better values than most Americans I know. They BBQ and party every weekend and are full of joy and life while middle class Americans dope themselves up on anti-depressents and try to find themselves. These people are poor but they are happy which is more than I can say for most people.

 

I do have a career and I enjoy it but really it just my means of making money. The people I work for don't give a ***k about me and I am only useful to them if I keep producing for them. I know I am just a number and when my house is paid off I would rather just open up my own business on the shore and do that. I really don't see how there is anything I can't do in my marriage that I would able to do single. I don't even know what expand your growth is supposed to mean but I am not into that new age stuff anyway. I have experienced more than most people twice my age so a little contentment is a breath of fresh air to me.

[RealityCheck]

It is partly the generation. Fatherlessness has had a devestating affect on many people especially in poor black communities. It happens within all communities as well. Of course circumstances create ghettos but I know immigrants living in one room apartments with their families that seem happier and have better values than most Americans I know. They BBQ and party every weekend and are full of joy and life while middle class Americans dope themselves up on anti-depressents and try to find themselves. These people are poor but they are happy which is more than I can say for most people.

 

I do have a career and I enjoy it but really it just my means of making money. The people I work for don't give a ***k about me and I am only useful to them if I keep producing for them. I know I am just a number and when my house is paid off I would rather just open up my own business on the shore and do that. I really don't see how there is anything I can't do in my marriage that I would able to do single. I don't even know what expand your growth is supposed to mean but I am not into that new age stuff anyway. I have experienced more than most people twice my age so a little contentment is a breath of fresh air to me.

 

There are many reasons for poverty. Government Administration is one of them. Much of the problem of poverty is due to kids having babies and continue to breed like rabbits without any means to look after the kids. I do not agree that the vast amount of poverty is lack of one less parent.

 

You are correct that some sacrifices are made without a double income when there are children to raise, but then again "dead beat fathers" are a major contribution to that problem.

[Woggle]

There are many reasons for poverty. Government Administration is one of them. Much of the problem of poverty is due to kids having babies and continue to breed like rabbits without any means to look after the kids. I do not agree that the vast amount of poverty is lack of one less parent.

 

You are correct that some sacrifices are made without a double income when there are children to raise, but then again "dead beat fathers" are a major contribution to that problem.

 

It is not just the money. When a boy or even a girl is deprived of a parent it creates a hole in them that is very hard to fill. This is not to knock single mothers doing their best with what they have been handed and still doing a good job despite a father's absence but the way some feminists celebrate it as the prefered way of raising a child is just sick. Poverty causes fatherless ness but fatherlessness helps perpetuate poverty.

[RealityCheck]

It is not just the money. When a boy or even a girl is deprived of a parent it creates a hole in them that is very hard to fill. This is not to knock single mothers doing their best with what they have been handed and still doing a good job despite a father's absence but the way some feminists celebrate it as the prefered way of raising a child is just sick. Poverty causes fatherless ness but fatherlessness helps perpetuate poverty.

 

Everything helps to perpetuate poverty. Everything. There is not one cause to the effect.

 

I also don't believe in creating holes in a child with one less parent. A person cannot miss what they have never had. They have nothing to measure.

 

If there is a divorce in the equation, and this has been brought up many times, it is up to both parents to keep their children's best interest at heart and to remain a part of their lives, because the child has the measure.

 

You know, I have seen the nasty affect of an unloving household between the parents, that is what creates the hole in a child.

 

Personally, I would rather have one loving parent than see loveless parents.

[Woggle]

A person can miss what they never had. A fatherless boy has nobody to teach him how to be a man, how a man is supposed to conduct himself or any role model to look up to. If you had a generation of women being raised with no mother figure the same effect would occur so why do feminists keep insisting that a father is a disposable extra at best and a dangerous abuser at worst. A person has to be blind to think it has no effect on a child. I agree that an unloving household can badly affect a child so households need to become more loving.

[RealityCheck]

A person can miss what they never had. A fatherless boy has nobody to teach him how to be a man, how a man is supposed to conduct himself or any role model to look up to. If you had a generation of women being raised with no mother figure the same effect would occur so why do feminists keep insisting that a father is a disposable extra at best and a dangerous abuser at worst. A person has to be blind to think it has no effect on a child. I agree that an unloving household can badly affect a child so households need to become more loving.

 

Men today are not like men of yesterday. Actually the men today are much like babies. A boy can learn much from the Mother in terms of strength.

 

I will say this, my son's father and I co-parent beautifully together, however it is I who my son comes to for everything! And; I mean everything!

[Woggle]

Men today are not like men of yesterday. Actually the men today are much like babies. A boy can learn much from the Mother in terms of strength.

 

I will say this, my son's father and I co-parent beautifully together, however it is I who my son comes to for everything! And; I mean everything!

 

First of all that is a generalization and you come across as a manhater. Second I concede that you are true of many men but the men of today are like babies because for the last 30 years feminists have gone out of their way to emasculate men. They knocked everything that was masculine and tried to make men more sensitive. Let a man be a man and he will be a man but try and neuter him and what you will have is a crybaby boy. Feminism created this state of affairs and now women want to ask where all the real have gone. Also boys learning only from their mothers does not help them. In many ways it makes him develop an inferiority complex and makes him overly sensitive to the point of having no backbone. It is complete lunacy to think that we can remove men from the family picture and raise happy and healthy boys but many women have swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

[Cobra_X30]

Men today are not like men of yesterday. Actually the men today are much like babies. A boy can learn much from the Mother in terms of strength.

 

I will say this, my son's father and I co-parent beautifully together, however it is I who my son comes to for everything! And; I mean everything!

 

LOL...

 

So yeah, Im late to the party.

 

Men today are like babies? Are you suggesting that this was not the case 60 or 600 years ago?

 

Ever study tribal societies? Women do like 80% of the work, provide 60% of the food. The guys sit around the campfire and drink... sometimes they hunt too.

[RealityCheck]

First of all that is a generalization and you come across as a manhater. Second I concede that you are true of many men but the men of today are like babies because for the last 30 years feminists have gone out of their way to emasculate men. They knocked everything that was masculine and tried to make men more sensitive. Let a man be a man and he will be a man but try and neuter him and what you will have is a crybaby boy. Feminism created this state of affairs and now women want to ask where all the real have gone. Also boys learning only from their mothers does not help them. In many ways it makes him develop an inferiority complex and makes him overly sensitive to the point of having no backbone. It is complete lunacy to think that we can remove men from the family picture and raise happy and healthy boys but many women have swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

 

Come on now! You cannot be serious! Creates an inferiority complex! No way! What I have seen is that boys have a hell of alot more respect for woman because they now see stronger women and not a woman catering to the male ego!

 

And; you are completely wrong about me being a "man hater", I think you should leave that assessment up to myself because you have pointed a finger at someone who you do not know at all!

 

Not believing in marriage in today's world, does not warrant me as a "man hater". That's ridiculous!

[PoshPrincess]

Come on now! You cannot be serious! Creates an inferiority complex! No way! What I have seen is that boys have a hell of alot more respect for woman because they now see stronger women and not a woman catering to the male ego!

 

I agree. It all depends on what you want your sons to turn into, I guess, but I don't think a boy growing up in an all female hosuehold, or a household with just his Mum necessarily does any harm at all. I would hope that with my influence my son will learn how to treat women and not grow up to be a male chauvinist pig. And when I say 'how to treat women' I don't mean in the feminist sense of the phrase but in the chivalrous way!

[RealityCheck]

LOL...

 

So yeah, Im late to the party.

 

Men today are like babies? Are you suggesting that this was not the case 60 or 600 years ago?

 

Ever study tribal societies? Women do like 80% of the work, provide 60% of the food. The guys sit around the campfire and drink... sometimes they hunt too.

 

Exactly! And we still do! Even without the feminist movement women always have done most of the work! So nothing has really changed except woman are not putting up with the sh*t anymore! They no get tied to a tree with honey and ants because they use their voice.

[Woggle]

Come on now! You cannot be serious! Creates an inferiority complex! No way! What I have seen is that boys have a hell of alot more respect for woman because they now see stronger women and not a woman catering to the male ego!

 

And; you are completely wrong about me being a "man hater", I think you should leave that assessment up to myself because you have pointed a finger at someone who you do not know at all!

 

Not believing in marriage in today's world, does not warrant me as a "man hater". That's ridiculous!

 

You are a manhater because you consider men to be babies and any woman that uses the term male ego is usually a manhater. Women actually have much worse egos than men on the average. The typical cliches terms like male ego or men are afraid of strong women are usually signs of manhater. Believe me I have heard them all. I have looked at some of your other posts and there is definite contempt for men.

 

If being raised without men is so good for boy why is it that the first generation to largely be raised without fathers are a bunch of babies? When you have men being raised without fathers you either have a man developing an ultra macho persona which usually leads them to turn to crime or you have a sniveling wimp that lets women walk all over them. I have also known a few men who turned out to be hardcore misogynists because they blame their mother breaking up the family or depriving them of a father.

[RealityCheck]

You are a manhater because you consider men to be babies and any woman that uses the term male ego is usually a manhater. Women actually have much worse egos than men on the average. The typical cliches terms like male ego or men are afraid of strong women are usually signs of manhater. Believe me I have heard them all. I have looked at some of your other posts and there is definite contempt for men.

 

If being raised without men is so good for boy why is it that the first generation to largely be raised without fathers are a bunch of babies? When you have men being raised without fathers you either have a man developing an ultra macho persona which usually leads them to turn to crime or you have a sniveling wimp that lets women walk all over them. I have also known a few men who turned out to be hardcore misogynists because they blame their mother breaking up the family or depriving them of a father.

 

Oh, and I see you have no ego in this discussion at all!!!

 

I love men! I love to talk to them, f*ck them, spend their money, stroke their egos, cry with them, laugh with them all kinds of things. I just don't need a piece of paper telling me that I have to go to jail with them!

[Cobra_X30]

You are a manhater because you consider men to be babies and any woman that uses the term male ego is usually a manhater. Women actually have much worse egos than men on the average. The typical cliches terms like male ego or men are afraid of strong women are usually signs of manhater. Believe me I have heard them all. I have looked at some of your other posts and there is definite contempt for men.

 

If being raised without men is so good for boy why is it that the first generation to largely be raised without fathers are a bunch of babies? When you have men being raised without fathers you either have a man developing an ultra macho persona which usually leads them to turn to crime or you have a sniveling wimp that lets women walk all over them. I have also known a few men who turned out to be hardcore misogynists because they blame their mother breaking up the family or depriving them of a father.

 

Wog, Why are you arguing pro marriage anyway? Didnt your wife just run around on you!

 

You should be straight up lobbying for some Mexico style laws. Kick your wife out.... no alimony, no joint custody, no shared property.

[Cobra_X30]

Oh, and I see you have no ego in this discussion at all!!!

 

I love men! I love to talk to them, f*ck them, spend their money, stroke their egos, cry with them, laugh with them all kinds of things. I just don't need a piece of paper telling me that I have to go to jail with them!

 

LOL...

 

Isnt there a problem inherent in that idea? Who benefits from a no comittment situation?