I know I have a problem...but is it a PROBLEM?

[me123]

Ok, so since this post is at 4:30am....I realize that I have a problem. BUT I want some straight up answers here no matter how harsh they seem.

I started using cocaine at about 14-15 years old...I am now 23. I quit between 18-22. Back in the day I would do ALOT, but it was only on the weekends or every other weekend or whatever.

Now, since I've started again, I use more frequently but not in excessive quantities. I myself believe that I do have a problem, but at this point it would be easy to stop...its now or never more or less. I use almost every day, whether it is just a line or 2 grams...usually not that much, but very often anyway. I can go for a week or more at a time without doing it, and have no physical effects...I know i cant say that i dont have a problem because i use too frequently to say that...but I guess what i'm really looking for is....should I just stop all together, or just try to keep it in moderation? I am one of those ppl that doesnt have a problem with anything, but I do find it gross when a substance, no matter what it is, takes over ones life.

From all my thoughts, and knowing myself...i should just stop all together. But that seems unrealistic to me because of my lifestyle...I guess I just either want an eye opener or some advice on not giving in so easily? lol reading this it sounds pathetic...but i need someone who has been where I am, and has gotten out of hand to either tell me to stop or give me advice...I dont know...its just too easy to do it, whether I'm at work or at home or a party, its always just a phone call away...ugh i'm disgusted right now....please, some advice...no matter how harsh it may be...maybe thats what i need?

thanks in advance =P

[Geoffrey]

...because for some folks...."hitting bottom" is six feet under. I've seen it before, if you have a weakened heart, it can cost you your life.

 

Imagine for a few minutes what your life would look like (form a picture in your mind) if you didn't have this stuff in your life, and you got along just FINE without it. How much more cash would you have? Would other areas in your life be brought under control, too?

 

Only YOU can do that fearless moral inventory on yourself. I have a feeling you already know what the answer is, I can read between lines very well (I'm a professional writer). You've made several "key" statements that indicate this is indeed a problem.

 

You're still young. I was a VERY heavy drug user for years when I was your age. Man, I regret it now. Embrace wellness and go after the life YOU REALLY want for yourself TODAY.

 

Doing blow won't get you there, it will only hold you back, my friend, and create more problems that you EVER thought existed.

 

Get going....and good luck.

[Hopeless&Hurt]

Please, for yourself, stop completely. You will pay the price for the "white devil". I lost my Dad for 15 years to coke, and my boyfriend of 10 years just lost me to coke.

 

Run Fast.

[weffer25]

I am a recovering drug addict and I remember when I first started to realize that using was becoming a problem...as I was telling another addict who had been clean for 24 years (and was now living the life of her dreams) "Other people have problems with drugs but I did not because I was not as bad as them, I had it under control.....I see all these people around me without jobs, lost their families and all self respect, so I was not an addcit with a problem I was just young and having fun and I could stop at anytime because I had a job, I did not steal from anyone and my family still was around" boy was I wrong, and soon I became one of those people other addicts were using as the bad example. If only I had listened to the words she told me I could have saved myself alot of years of disrespecting my friends, family but most importantly myself. She said "Its like riding on a garbage truck, you see the dump in the distance now you can choose to get off that truck at any point, even if you just jumped on and are still far from the garbage, or you can choose to ride that truck all the way to the dump then have to work very hard to get back to where you should have jumped off in the first place." These are great words of wisdom for someone struggling with the thought of being an addict. I would strongly suggest seeking a support group such as NA, it will makes worlds of difference in your life if you allow it, but remember it is completly up to you, you have to do all the footwork they are there to guide you and support your staying clean. Do it now while you are young because I assure you if you dont you will look back on these days and wish you had taken control sooner, if you continue to use you may not even make it. So please try to stop right now get yourself some help because it is much easier to do it with the help of programs like NA!! The therapeutic results of one addict helping another is without parrallel and you will quickly realize this if you reach out. The choice is all yours, nobody can make it for you. Feel free to message me if you would like to talk further!!

[directx]

Makes no sense to do that crap.

1) You never know what's mixed in with it. Thats dangerous in itself

2) You are supplying money to criminals. contributing to crime

3) Your money could be better spent invested, etc to help the economy

4) Its just not healthy

5) It's illegal. Why risk getting busted for it?

 

IMO

[dvsxx6]

There is no such thing as doing drugs in moderation. That is just ASKING for it! You will get screwed by coke, and something WILL happen to you in the long run if you continue using it. I don't care if it's a little here and there. Even if you aren't getting problems right now, you are still affecting your heart and other vital organs, and not to mention are f.cking up your brain. I used to be a mad coke-head 2 years ago. I got introduced to it at some guy's house, and he gave me 2 fat lines. At first I didn't get hooked on it, but then I wanted to give it a try maybe a couple days later [i know, that was stupid]. Fast forward to 1 year later, I was doing 40 grams [sometimes 80 grams] a DAY! [which ranged from $40-80] and most times, I would be too paranoid to do anything so I would only go to certain places. Talk about a waste of money!! Then my bf at the time [who didn't use coke back then but who was there at the house with me] started using and he became a huge coke dealer. So we'd do it together, and for free because he had A LOT of clients. It's amazing the kind of people that do coke.. lawyers, doctors, professional people! I couldn't believe it. Anyway. I eventually got more heavily into coke than he did, and he would always tell me we should stop and he should stop dealing coke. So HE stopped using coke and would smoke weed, but I'd always get him to give me the coke. I broke up with him 2 years ago.. I forget when exactly because I was in such a drug-induced world, but I recently saw him and now he is a full blown coke addict/weed smoker. He has a kid now too, and he's 23 and sells lots and lots of coke and weed. It's pathetic. Anyway, a lil' off the tangent. But let's just say that it'll really have a grip on you. You may think you have control over it now, but you don't know how devastating it feels when you actually CAN'T stop on your own free will. Don't let this happen to you.

 

So after breaking up with him, I started getting my own connections from other people. I finally, and inevitably, overdosed. I actually only did a couple small lines and I was at home at the time and my mom took me to the hospital because my entire body was getting really itchy.. I was having some sort of an allergic reaction.

 

The fact is that, I now have a cardiologist because of my past coke addiction. All because I made the stupid decision of trying it. And continuing to do it. While using coke, I started to snort ritalin [it's also an amphetamine] because sometimes my dealer would be dry. It's sad because I now have heart problems at 21. Well, when I ODed I was 19. So basically because of cocaine, I'll have to live with this problem forever.

 

So do yourself a favor.. Learn to love yourself instead of investing your money in something that's killing you. Sure, cocaine is one HELL of a drug [lol as rick james said?] but it is NOT worth it. It's just a viscious and dark cycle that will not let you go if you continue using it. What is one nite of fun vs. your health? Oh because it makes you talkative/outgoing like you can talk forever? Or because it'll make you drink more, or because you don't really "feel" high like you would if you smoked weed or drank? What if the coke is laced with something? You don't know for sure what's in the drug. You don't know if you're going to have some reaction to it. What if your heart stops? After doing coke, you have an increased chance of getting a heart attack in the next 24 hours of taking it. The more you use it, the harder you'll be screwed in the long run. Be careful and Good luck

 

PS. Was this the kind of response you were expecting? I hope so cause I'm being 100% straight up. And please don't think that because I did a higher amount of coke, that means that my story couldn't happen to you. By doing more and more coke, you are inevitably setting yourself up for future problems or even death. Even if it is a little amount, it will escalate because the drug is THAT good. Just be careful and make the right decision. You know what it is.

[shoesies05]

give it up dude... u have better things to spend your money on. save that money for a nice f*cking vacation instead.

 

PLus, its bad for u in so many ways... and im sure u know it already or that others will tell you. so just please- give it up.

[k.rizz]

Although i am somewhat younger I also know what its like to have a not so addiction, addiction problem to cocaine. Like yourself i often did it, like you said whether it was one line or a half ball. I never thought i was addicted i could have gone weeks without doing it, however i never did. Maybe this is to say that i was in denial of my problem. Anyways the best time to realize what your doing wrong is when your on it. I came home one morning at like 10 in the morning stil strung out and hadn't slept. I went up to my room and laid in my bed for hours and hours. Im sure you know how ****ty of a feeling that is. I rememeber thinking what the f*** am i doing to myself? I dont want to feel like this anymore. So basically i quit with my own will power. Just take a good look at your life. Is that what you want it to be like forever? I know i didnt. So starting that day i slowly stopped doing it. Then eventually i was like no more. Its been about 5 months since i last touched. Now i sit around with my friends who are still completely into it and watch them and i just think to myself how lucky i am to of gotten out when i did and how disguesting and repulsive it really is to watch people do it. I have way more friends now and go out alot more with different people as to when i was using cocaine i only hung out with one specific group. Look at it this way.. Only cokeheads like cokeheads, do u want to limit yourself to that group?