oxygen Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 THIS GUY IS DRIVING ME CRAZY,we're close friends from about a year,and he's engaged from 3 months and is going to marry after a month,the problem is that we're not just friends,i love him and he sometimes say that he loves me too,and that he wants to leave his fiancee for me,but he doesn't. And then he says that we're just friends,and that he didn't promise me with anything and that he cant leave his fiancee, and he wouldn't do this for me even if he loved me.Then when he meets me,sometimes he hugs me,kisses me and things of that sort.Also when he knows that i hang out with somebody,i feel that he's jeolous,but he doesn't say anything.We didn't have sex ever,and these days he's preparing for his wedding,and he asked me today to go to his home and stay with him the whole day tomorrow.I want someone to tell me what does he wants from me,cuz i really cant understand these double signals. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 How are we supposed to know what he wants from you? He is sending some very confusing signals. But beyond everything, he seems committed to getting married and once that happens you will be totally out of the picture, unless you want to have an affair with him on the side. Why would you want to have anything to do with a guy who would string you along while he is engaged and planning a wedding? If he's doing it to his fiance, he would do it to you as well if you ever got serious with him. It sounds like he's trying to line you up as someone to have on the side while he's married...but you'll never know for sure unless you ask him. And, even then, it's not unlikely he will be honest. My advice is to cease all contact with this guy. You have absolutely nothing to gain from a friendship with him and a lot of hurt ahead of you if you continue to care about him. Drop him, don't call him and tell him to stop contacting you. He is not the kind of friend most people want to have. Link to post Share on other sites
oneofthemany Posted March 31, 2003 Share Posted March 31, 2003 people develop very complicated relationships with others, its entirely possable that he cares deeply about both you andd his future wife and wants both of you to play a part in his life. unfortunately this is rarely an option (I'm certain his fiancee doesnt know about you) and, quite frannkly, I doubt that you would want it to be an option. never get yourself drawn into an affair, not only because of what it does to the other parties involved, but because of what it would do to you. Tony's advice is the only real way forward for you but it is going to be one of the most difficult things that you have to do. cutting someone out of your life (even if there is no way that things could work out) is very tough but is far better than the alternative (believe me on this, I do know). give yourself a break from it all, you need at least a month without contact (if he contacts you be civil but strong). I wish you the bast of luck, and you know where to find people to talk to should you ever need to chat about it. a Link to post Share on other sites
Petal Posted March 31, 2003 Share Posted March 31, 2003 One of my friends went through something similar, and although it is tough you have to realize that it is her he proposed too, her that he has said he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Is it that he wants you because he cannot really have you?? Dont let this continue, he will marry her and think he can have his cake and eat it. As a friend to him if he was carrying on with someone else surely you would tell him to stop it. How will you feel on his wedding day when he says his vows to her?? Link to post Share on other sites
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