SHMILY Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 ok, I thought I would never come back to this forum again since I felt alright over the break-up with the guy I dated very briefly. I fell really hard for him and got burned when he told me that i was too serious for him. The break-up happened almost 10 months ago and we went to NC right after that. We both deleted each other from MSN and we were even removed from each other's allow list ( done by him i guess), so it looked like we had never added each other ever before. I thought this was really cruel and decided to forget everything about him and just move on. Things were getting better and better day by day and I thought I did not have any romantic feeling for him anymore. I thought I didn't care about him anymore. However, 2 months ago I saw him in a shopping mall and I am sure he saw me too. And then I got an email from him asking me what I am up to these days and if we could hang out sometime. My reaction right after seeing his email was not to reply to him so he would never contact me again and could just let me go. However, I didn't hold onto my original idea and 3 days later i replied to him simply saying that i am cool with it, nothing more. Anyways, so he added me back on MSN and so did I. We talked a few times online since then and he told me he was going to another country as an exchange student. Fast forward to what happened last night. I asked him something about the exchange thing and he started asking me where I stay, what time I finish work in the evenings, and what time i go to bed. So I basically told him everything and all of a sudden he asked me if i was upset with him about what had happened before. I told him I had already left it behind, which was quite what I was feeling at that moment. Then he said that didnt sound very nice and asked me what I wanted and if I had a boyf now. I told him no and he asked if we could hang out sometime if I like. I said cool. AND this morning when I logged on to MSN i received an offline msg from him telling me that yesterday he forgot to tell me that he has a girlfriend now so we can only be friends and asking if i am cool with that. I was a little pissed when i saw it and then i thought i wanted him out of my life FOREVER. So I sent him an offline msg and told him i didnt know that yesterday and he should spend more time with his girlfriend because he is leaving soon. So if anybody could really help me figure out what is going on here, I would really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Aie! There is nothing to figure out but run away from this guy again! But I know - trying to figure it out is tempting. What a weirdo. It doesn't sound very nice to him that you left it all behind? Any normal human being would be happy to know that the tensions that come from hb are in the past. I think what you are dealing with is a narcissist. He wants you to not be over him. He wants you to pine for him. He got a high out of breaking your heart. uggghhh. I also know from experience that there is no way you can redeem yourself with a guy like this because he will always want to have the upper hand. So, I say, go back to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 well I usually try to look behind reasons why people behave a certain way and not just dismiss them - even when they do something hurtful. however, this guy sounds the most selfish and self-centered person ever and if there wasn't a moderator on this forum, I'd probably use a stronger word Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Aie! There is nothing to figure out but run away from this guy again! But I know - trying to figure it out is tempting. What a weirdo. It doesn't sound very nice to him that you left it all behind? Any normal human being would be happy to know that the tensions that come from hb are in the past. I think what you are dealing with is a narcissist. He wants you to not be over him. He wants you to pine for him. He got a high out of breaking your heart. uggghhh. I also know from experience that there is no way you can redeem yourself with a guy like this because he will always want to have the upper hand. So, I say, go back to NC. I agree with this. I would respond back to him with a "Oh? A g/f? I don't want her to feel insecure about an ex who you still have feelings for and I wouldn't respect you if you hid our friendship from her. Later darling." Link to post Share on other sites
peechy06 Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 This guy sounds kind of unstable. He has a girlfriend but he wants to hang out with you. I would not respect him at all! Think about this...if you two were to possibly get back together in the future, he would do the same types of things behind your back. You are doing great with just not talking to him at all and you are so much better off without him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 2 words: FORGET HIM! Link to post Share on other sites
livebuzzwords Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 So I sent him an offline msg and told him i didnt know that yesterday and he should spend more time with his girlfriend because he is leaving soon. NOT SURE ABOUT THAT GUY BUT IF I TELL SOMEONE THAT I AM INTERSTED IN AN R WITH THEM AND AM DOING THE WORK NEEDED THAT MEANS I AM SINGLE AND HAVE DECIDED TO COMMIT TO WHAT I HAVE PROMISED - I HAVE ALWAYS DONE THAT Link to post Share on other sites
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