tanita Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 Hello guys It's me again.Here is my story and i could really use some advice.It is kinda long but i will try to cut short on details. A year and a half ago,i was training in a restaurant.One of the cooks over there was really cute.I found out that he had a girlfreind but i decided to take my chance and asked him out 1nightand guess what?You got it !He said NO.I asked him if it was because he had a gf and he said yes,but that we could go out another time,just as freinds.After that,i did not see him for a few days and when i did see him,he asked for my phone.I took his instead and called him a few days later.We went out together to a marriage of another cook .That was all .After a week or so,i called him and asked him if he could help me study for my cooking exam and he came over but instead of studiying,we ended up talking about us(i opened the subject of course) He said that his relation ship with his girlfrein was rocky,that they were gonna end it and bla bla bla.He said stuff like he is too bad for me and that i do not know him yet but as i saud before,i was determined. Any way,one day we wnt out on a real date(while his gf was abroad)and hi asked me out and OF COURSE i agreed. Is my story too long?Ok,i will get to yhe bottom line-we have been going out for aover a year now.He loves me and i love him but sometimes,i can't get over the feeling that i FORCED HIM into loving me and going out with me.We want to get married but sometimes i get this feeling that maybe,well maybe he just went out with me just to pleaze me.What also really breaks my self confidence is that sometimes,his ex still calls him(she vowed to ruin everything between me and my bf). Are theese feelings normal?How do i get rid of them?Have i done wrong?Am i being punished for ruining another girls relation? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 Okay, so refresh my memory, you're the "Tanita" who posted here not long ago, about how you got "mad" at your boyfriend, you got drunk and to get back on him, you got frisky with some other guy......but the guilt of having done that made you "love your bf even more." So, it seems you have quite the history here of cheating: you did the above, and now you admit that you chased after a guy (your now b/f) who was in a relationship at the time. Pardon my frankness, but hey, you're here asking for our opinions, I'll give you mine. Didn't you ever learn, growing up, about people who are "off limits"? You know, those who are already WITH SOMEONE? Or, if you're in a relationship, you don't go fooling around with someone else? Hmmm. I'm going to assume that you're just really young and pretty naive when it comes to how to behave in certain situations in life?? What age are you? I can totally understand your guy's ex calling....no, it's not right because he's not with her now, but can you imagine how hurt she must have been, to have this chick (you) chasing after her man like a rabid dog? Of course he's partly to blame, for seeing YOU behind her back, but that's another post. The bottom line, I think, is that you make your bed and then you have to lie in it. You don't seem to know much about fidelity and honesty and conducting yourself with class and self respect....and now you have these insecurities. That's the price one pays for getting involved in shady situations. I doubt your b/f is with you because you guilted him into it, unless you put a gun to his head, I'm sure he's with you because he wants to be........but think about it: if he was so willing to dump his ex to be with you (while he was still with her), he could do the very same thing to you. Like I said last time, neither of you sound like you're in any position to consider marriage, sounds like there's a lot of growing up to be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanita Posted March 30, 2003 Author Share Posted March 30, 2003 JAG Relax girl,relax. Jus what do you mean by i havve this history of cheating?And why are you so offensive????my God,give yourself a break"'rabid dog" looks like yo mama has not tought you good manners. First of all,nothing physical happened with me and thid guy untill he told me it was over with his ex. Secondly,what happened with me last time was a one time thing(no,i am not justifying) Third ,who said relation ships are easy! Guys cheat on girls everyday in this worl and girls cheat on guys every day in this world!I do not go out and get laid everynight behind my guys back and if he decided to go out with me and leave his ex,thats his decision! Now beleive me,i feel bad for this girl every day cos i would not want someone to do the same to me but beleive me,if he really loved her and wanted her,i could rally be like a rabid dog he would not give a damn about me! And please,next time u reply to me,try to be more nice! Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 Hey young lady, This is the second time you've gotten all snitty and snippy to people who offer you their opinion. You come to a place like this and ask people for their opinions on what you write, you're going to get them. Now, if you're just coming here looking for a certain type of reply, make sure to let us know what it is you want to read, and maybe someone will accomodate you. heh heh. Yes, you did act like a rabid dog, IN MY OPINION. You very actively pursued your now-boyfriend, way back when you KNEW he had a girlfriend....even going so far as to going out on a "real date" with him, while you were fully aware that a) he had this girlfriend, and that b) she was abroad. Remember this? "I found out that he had a girlfreind but i decided to take my chance and asked him out" You obviously had no respect for his GIRLFRIEND, or for him. He was already clearly involved, and you knew that, but you didn't care and you chased him anyway. That's tacky, IN MY OPINION. So perhaps you didn't sleep with him until AFTER he dumped his girlfriend for you, but the fact that you were dating a guy who HAD a girlfriend, sorry but that makes you a cheater....because you were knowingly dating someone who was already involved. The other things I've written still stand. And if you want to talk about manners and being nice, perhaps you should take a good long look in the mirrow and understand the concept of staying away from men who are not available to date, and not fooling around with other guys when you're already in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanita Posted March 30, 2003 Author Share Posted March 30, 2003 thank u and nice to meet you. so,whats ur situation in life? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 i can't get over the feeling that i FORCED HIM into loving me and going out with me.We want to get married but sometimes i get this feeling that maybe,well maybe he just went out with me just to pleaze me. Unfortunately, since you chased him so relentlessly, you will never know the answer to this question, but I wonder why you are even raising it? Are you getting the impression from him that he doesn't love you or isn't that into you? Are theese feelings normal? Couldn't tell ya. I don't chase guys so I've never been in your predicament. How do i get rid of them? You don't. If he isn't making you feel cherished and loved, you will likely always feel this way. Have i done wrong? Yes. You chased and hounded another girl's boyfriend until you were able to lure him away from her. And P.S.... He said stuff like he is too bad for me and that i do not know him yet When someone says something like this, believe them. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts