tell me I didn't screw this up.

[Rhania]

First off, I didn't know exactly where to post this. Sorry if this is the wrong section. It's going to be a pretty long read but I'll try to keep it short.

 

Basically, I had this really great friend and something happened between us that now I'm not sure where we stand right now.

 

About two years ago, I moved to a new state and it was pretty hard making friends. I'm a little bit shy too so that didn't help either.I was at a party and this good looking guy came and started talking to me. We had a very interesting conversation and by the end of the party, I was already kinda falling for him. We took lots of pictures and he made me laugh a lot. Then, for some reason, I hugged him around the waist. I don't even know why, but I just did. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he was pretty uncomfortable. I felt like I screwed up so I thought I'd back off. But later, he actually hugged me too - pretty intimately I might add - when we were taking more pictures. He spent a lot of time with me, so I thought he was interested. But I was mistaken, as whenever I would see him at subsequent outings, we would just say hi and then he would go and mingle with his friends. So then, we just became really good friends. Seeing as things were going nowhere, I decided to get over him - especially when he got a girlfriend. I started dating this other guy and we had some troubles. At the same time, he was having troubles with his girlfriend. We both broke up at about the same time. After that, we started talking again..a lot. Then he started to flirt with me. I thought it was weird at first, but I started flirting with him too. He gave me body compliments unlike anybody has ever. The way he described my body made me feel so good. I would have been creeped out had it come from someone else.Then he started saying things like "I really like you" and stuff like that. I wasn't sure what he meant so one day I asked him if he liked me. He said something stupid like "I don't know. I just think I like you, but I don't feel that way." He never really said yes or no. So I told him that maybe he just misses his girlfriend (he really liked her too) so that's why he thinks he likes me. I also felt like I missed my boyfriend and I was using him to get over my boyfriend. I didn't want a rebound relationship you know? Then he thought about it and said I was probably right. We then talked about a few things and I decided that we shouldn't see each other for about two weeks; he even decided to make it like a month. At the end of the conversation, he asked me if I wished things had happened some other way and I said yes. I asked him the same thing and he said yes.

 

It's been almost two months and I haven't seen him or spoken to him. I've been to outings where I usually see him but he hasn't been to any of them. I spoke to one of his friends and they said he just didn't feel like coming. Is he trying to avoid me now? I hope this doesn't mean we aren't friends anymore because I really miss him. He was a pretty fun person to be around and I could definitely see things happening in the future. What should I do now? Should I wait for him to contact me? Or should I call him up?

 

Also, do you guys think this guy likes me? I'm really not sure. Sometimes he acts like he does, then sometimes he acts like an idiot.

[Bobbie]

people do this all the time: send mixed messages, experiment, play games....I've come to the conclusion personally the only thing I can do is be consistent and fair myself, and cultivate enough relationships so if one is floundering I'm not obsessing about it or letting it de-rail my life.