Not giving up hope

[Mibo43]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Hi,[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]My broken heart story is as follows.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I (43) met this wonderful lady (34) six months ago and we really hit it off. We had a lot in common and could talk about anything and everything for hours. She has a high pressure job and two young children. She has been separated for a year and her divorce was due to be final in a few months.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We kept an exciting relationship and I really started to get strong feelings for her. I felt that she was the one I had been waiting for. After a month we shared that we loved each other and wanted to build something together. My job takes me out of the country for months at a time so we knew that separation would be a challenge. We also thought that this separation would be good to slow us down and allow sometime to pass before we were together. I do love her and care for her greatly, she loves that I am a total gentleman to her, and she said I was from a past era in terms of my manners and care for people.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We saw each other a few times during the next few months while I was away and kept in daily contact. We laughed that is was like a high school romance. All of our friends who saw us together commented on how great we looked together and that we seemed to be a good match.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]After her divorce was final I sensed a change and she told me that we were going way too fast and that she did not want to jump from man to man and needed some time to be herself and not in a committed relationship. This was after four months together. She also mentioned that she wants to be free to date other people if she is asked. I understood, agreed and gave her space to do this. I wanted to show her that my intentions were in fact honorable, and I would give her some time to collect her thoughts and focus on her new life. She very much appreciated my actions and told me that they showed what a kind, unselfish and caring person I was. It hurt like hell to have this break, but I knew that she needs to get through her divorce in her own way. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I left town due to work and she kept in contact with me. She asked me to join her for a work function and I declined telling her that we need this time apart and it would be very tough emotionally for me to see her. Let’s just keep in touch and be friends for each other. After hearing that I would not meet her, she confessed that she missed me and thought about me all the time. I decide to fly home in a few weeks to spend the weekend with her. We had a great weekend with her children and they really enjoyed me and our time together, we did not discuss anything heavy and I could tell that she was emotionally drained. Towards the end of the weekend I noticed that she did not want to discuss anything about us in the future, even when we would see each other again. She mentioned that she was very angry at her ex for leaving her children and it was hard to see me where he should have been. This indicated to me that she still had a long way to go before she was over her divorce. I figured it was over at that point and to move on.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I left and started to get to work forgetting her and moving on with my life. We exchanged a few short e-mails and she stated that I am not the one for her, she does not know who that is, or when she will be ready for him but it is not now, and to not hate her.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I responded that I accept that, and felt it was best if we went our separate ways and that I will always wish her nothing but wonderful things. It was a very kind letter and I wanted her to know that there were no hard feelings, and perhaps in time we could be friends. She responded thank you and that she would like to be friends in the future.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I am still crazy about her and don’t want to lose her. She is all I think about and I have never cared or felt so strongly about anyone. I can really see us together. Is there any hope? I feel that no contact is best for now unless she starts it. I am trying to take care of myself and know that I need to accept that she is gone and get on with my life. Part of me has the wishful thinking that once she recovers from her own grief that we start again with the existing spark. What are my chances, and possible course of action?[/sIZE][/FONT]

[Mibo43]

I am still trying to accept that she is gone, but can't seem to get there. I want her to miss me and reach back out for me. I know this is far fetched, but my heart is with her.

 

I am not contacting her, just letting her have her space and hoping that she will reach out for me. This is hard and I know that I am a fool for waiting, I just felt that there is something there and her heart just can't give it right now due to her recovering from her divorce.

 

What else can I do??

[Scorpio13c]

I'm sorry Mibo43, i know how much you hurt.

In my opinion, you are only holding on to false hopes, i'm sorry.

She already told you that you are not the one & that she wants to date other people, so unfortunately for you, it's over.

Try not to feel so bad, you'll find someone else!

Anyway, why would you want to be with somebody who is only reciprocating 1 tenth of what you willing to give? You deserve so much more!

All you really can do now, is keep no contact, it's your only avenue. If she trys to contact you, don't respond at all, because the only reason she cozys up to you after awhile of NC, is because it strokes her ego, nothing more.

Take care Mibo!