i was raped

[livvy]

In october it will be one year since i was raped and I was 15 at the time . I was on myspace and met this guy who seemed to be really nice and he said he was 18 years old so i thought nothing of it and eventually met up with the guy. Once i met him i knew something was wrong because he was touching me and i told him to stop so he did until it was time for me to go home and for him to go back to his car because i met him at a playground. Once i started 2 walk away he came up from behind me and drug me into the woods and raped me . even though i told him to stop and was crying and putting up a fight he wouldnt stop it was like he was daydreaming because he had no expression on his face and had no remorse. After that i felt so ashamed i also told the cops what happened. It turns out that he wasnt 18 he was 28 and the copsdidnt arrest him they gave him a verbal warning to not have any contact with me anymore. Now im 16 and have HPV.

[Tony T]

In october it will be one year since i was raped and I was 15 at the time . I was on myspace and met this guy who seemed to be really nice and he said he was 18 years old so i thought nothing of it and eventually met up with the guy. Once i met him i knew something was wrong because he was touching me and i told him to stop so he did until it was time for me to go home and for him to go back to his car because i met him at a playground. Once i started 2 walk away he came up from behind me and drug me into the woods and raped me . even though i told him to stop and was crying and putting up a fight he wouldnt stop it was like he was daydreaming because he had no expression on his face and had no remorse. After that i felt so ashamed i also told the cops what happened. It turns out that he wasnt 18 he was 28 and the copsdidnt arrest him they gave him a verbal warning to not have any contact with me anymore. Now im 16 and have HPV.

 

Rape is a felony and this man should have been arrested. Why didn't the police arrest him? You don't get a warning for committing a violent crime. YOU GO TO JAIL!!! If you don't get any action out of the police, call your local FBI office...or better yet, your local newspaper. Tell them exactly what happened to you and what the police did. Let them know of the long term effects this has had on you. Also, call your local states attorney's or prosecutor's office and let them know that the police took no action.

 

Unless there are extenuating circumstances you haven't told us, the police themselves need to be jailed as well for obstruction of justice in not making a lawful arrest in this case.

 

You should find a source for counseling so you can process this ordeal and heal from it. You wouldn't have posted here if it wasn't still heavily on your mind. Having this man prosecuted would go a long way towards that.

[Kamille]

that's awful! I really don't understand why the cops let him get away with a warning, especialy since you were a minor. It is therefore a double offense. The violence of the crime and the fact that it is statutory rape.

 

do you have access to legal services? do you have a support network where you are? You shouldn't be alone with this.

 

i wish you the best.

[woodsfield]

that's horrible....i hate it for you.

 

some cops just dont care, or are just plain stupid. you have been robbed of your innocence and robbed of justice. i hope you have strength to fight this and i hope you get some closure.

[Fun2BMe]

If you didn't go to the hospital, the cops might not have enough evidence to go by other than your word against his.

[Trialbyfire]

You have no reason to be ashamed. You were attacked by someone bigger and stronger than you. He perpetrated a crime on you. You are innocent of wrong-doings.

 

Rapists are wired in a different way than normal people. There's something missing upstairs. It's about control and domination over another person.

 

Please talk to a professional to get help over this. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. You did NOTHING wrong.

[popey]

Just to be sure you are clear- I think when Tony said "extenuating circumstances) this wasn't meant for you to misunderstand that such circumstances could be anything other then we don't have the true story- that in fact you were forced to have sexual contact w/o your consent.

 

And even in that case, at the age of 15 you are not deemed to have the legal capacity to consent to sexual contact with an adult. As Kamille said, there is also statutory rape here (sex between an adult and a minor)

 

A few things I want to make sure you know about this.

 

1. Statutory rape is a strict liability crime (means - the only defenses possible for him are that you are actually over the legal age; OR the act didn't occur.) Not AT ALL suggesting this happened, but so you understand the seriousness... even if you had lied and said you were 20, and seduced him... all the jury has to accept is that the sex occurred... and he's guilty of statutory rape.

 

2. Rape is a crime of control. This horrible thing has, I'm sure hurt you in many ways. The feeling of no control is huge in this. Many women who have had this unfortunate experience, and find a way to fight back- find it to be a big factor in coming to some peace over it. I know it is hard, but if you find that you can bring yourself to pursuing justice (knowing the sad truth that justice just is never a guarantee) I believe in the end, you will get some comfort from doing it.

 

3. There are many weak and/or ignorant people in the world who may desire to not believe what your saying. Accepting the truth of your story requires us to accept that: our police do not always make us safe; our youth are vulnerable to abuse and we can never protect them 100%; people we see in every day lives as fine citizens are secretly heinous perpetrators. Some people will fight hard to protect their brains from accepting this very uncomfortable reality. This is NOT YOUR FAULT. And there are MANY other people like us talking to you here, that will NOT go there. You are not alone.

 

4. A person does not do something like this out of a minor lapse of his usual judgment. If he could do this to you, there is a very high chance that he has before and will again do something terrible to others. I believe any effort yu could make to break that chain is worth trying, and will go a long way towards your momving on from it.

 

5. 1 in 3 woman are victims of sexual abuse in their lifetime. 1 in 4 before the age of 18. You are not alone. *note that the statistics vary greatly amongst male and femal victims as adults, but not so much in children. This is attributed to how we change in terms of: size, ability to fight or be overcome physically, power v. vulnerability. Again- it was about power... nothing to do with something you did, or your sexuality.

 

So sorry to hear about this. No one should have this happen to them. There are many support networks, and free legal clinics for victims. I agree that you may want to consider seeking them out in your area.

 

My thoughts are with you.

[Kamille]

I know it isn't my place but thank you Popey. Livvy you've been in my thoughts all day. Popey, thank you for posting such a thorough thoughtful post.

[Reckless]

Is it too late for her to get justice?

 

I'm thinking she didn't tell the cops everything (she was/is so young), or didn't report it until the next day or something...

 

There is not way the rape of a minor gets a verbal warning unless all the facts didn't come out at the time....

[popey]

It is not too late for her to get justice. In many states there is no statute of limitations for statutory rape. Further, even if there is one where she is, I is unlikely to be only 1 year. In addition, tort claims in civil court are more liberal. While this doesn't provide the same justice as penal penalties, it is certainly something.

 

Unfortunately, like many victims of this kind of crime, who are too in shock to be calculating and logical about "next steps." She has lost some ability, such as the physical evidence. That being said, cumulative circumstancial evidence can sometimes meet the threshold. And as I previously stated, I don't know of many stories of a person who wakes up one day and deviates from decent to perpertrator against children, and then goes right back to model citizen.

 

Moreover, b/c he used the internet to pursue her- there is evidence to be found, and many people/groups in the legal world who are very much motivated to fight against this added forum to abuse young people.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

I just read this post and I just want to say that I know how horrible it is to be raped. It's happened to me before, and it really does take a part of your soul. I wish you the bst for your recovery. =(

[shoesies05]

I am so sorry, and even though the police did not listen, other people will.

 

What you can do is get a public dfender, or lawyer. I do not know of your financial circumstances- but it is completely worth it.

This man is a sexual predator, and most likely has done this to not only you and by fighting him in court over it- others girl may come out to help that have been raped by this same man.

 

Rape is a serious matter- and you can help protect other girls from this man by taking him to court {if possible.}

I'll talk to my mom about it, she's a public safety specialist for the police department so she may be able to give me some tips to pass along to you.

[pussycat1980]

My heart goes out to you.

 

I had the same thing happen to me, mine was 10 yrs ago though.

I didnt have the courage to report what he had done to me, i was young frightened and very naive, after it happened i felt dirty and the first thing i did was go home and got in the bath and scrubbed myself.

It took me a long time to trust men again, i was always scared that all men were like this.

It does get better, if you have or can get the support you need.

But unfortunately for the victim, its a stigma that never goes away.

Especially when it happened so young, i was still a virgin, and that got taken from me in the most horrific way possible, although to me i was a virgin until i found that special person to sleep with for the first time, and that was when i was 20.

 

I feel for you because you reported it and the scumbag got away with it, if i could go back i'd have reported mine too!!!!

[wizer]

It's a terrible story, if true. There are a few red flags on this one.

 

1) she posted once and never came back

2) it makes no sense that the guy wasn't arrested for forcible sex with a minor

[RecordProducer]

I am so, so sorry about what happened. Now the creepy monster will get gang-raped in jail on a regular basis for a long time.

Now im 16 and have HPV.

Don't worry about it, two thirds of women have it. It usually doesn't have any adverse affects. You would most likely get it sooner or later from someone.

[sunshinegirl]

I am kind of with wizer on this one.

 

After that i felt so ashamed i also told the cops what happened. It turns out that he wasnt 18 he was 28 and the copsdidnt arrest him they gave him a verbal warning to not have any contact with me anymore. Now im 16 and have HPV.

 

This doesn't make any sense: the police would have had to go find this guy in order for her to learn he wasn't 18, but 28. Would any responsible police department take the time to track down such a guy, only to have a little chat with him, in which they wag their finger and say "now don't bother that nice 15-year old anymore - have a nice evening!" and let him go?

 

I mean no disrespect to the OP if it really did happen, but this is incredulous.

[RecordProducer]

This doesn't make any sense: the police would have had to go find this guy in order for her to learn he wasn't 18, but 28. Would any responsible police department take the time to track down such a guy, only to have a little chat with him, in which they wag their finger and say "now don't bother that nice 15-year old anymore - have a nice evening!" and let him go?

 

I mean no disrespect to the OP if it really did happen, but this is incredulous.

She never said he wasn't arrested. He is probably going to be charged with rape, but if he posted a bail, they warned him not to contact the victim (because he might). That makes sense to me.

[Herzen]

I'm with wizer and sunshinegirl on this one: I suspect the post is fake. Something doesn't ring true.

 

I live in southeastern Pennsylvania , which is not much different from northeastern Pennsylvania where the OP allegedly lives. Believe me, rape laws are enforced in Pennsylvania--especially when a female minor's involved with a 28 year old man.

 

I suspect a troll is manipulating us. I've seen it over the years, and troll posts often involve rape allegations. The responses, nevertheless, were heartfelt, instructive and helpful. So value was added even if the OP was fabricated.

[sunshinegirl]

She never said he wasn't arrested. He is probably going to be charged with rape, but if he posted a bail, they warned him not to contact the victim (because he might). That makes sense to me.

 

She did say he wasn't arrested. Re-read the original post:

 

After that i felt so ashamed i also told the cops what happened. It turns out that he wasnt 18 he was 28 and the copsdidnt arrest him they gave him a verbal warning to not have any contact with me anymore. Now im 16 and have HPV.

 

Sorry to beat a dead horse. Herzen is right that the thread added value even if the original story isn't true.

[RecordProducer]

She did say he wasn't arrested. Re-read the original post:

Oh, you're right, I am sorry! Geez! I don't know if the post is fake, but I know a person who was raped and she was not even the only one in town who was raped, the cops know it and the DA released him. He even stalked her and she is in her late 30s. She lives in the middle of nowhere, so don't be surprised when you hear that raists get away with their crimes. I guess in towns with low publicity the law doesn't have to function well.

 

In any case, the OP was posted two months ago. I hope it's fake.

[Incognitox]

I am so, so sorry about what happened. Now the creepy monster will get gang-raped in jail on a regular basis for a long time. Don't worry about it, two thirds of women have it. It usually doesn't have any adverse affects. You would most likely get it sooner or later from someone.

 

He wasn't prosecuted. Allegedly.

 

Secondly, I really don't think its good to give the idea that HPV is fine to have. HPV can be harmful, even though they are considered low risk. I'm sure you'd agree that it's always a good idea to get tested regularly

[Fun2BMe]

 

Secondly, I really don't think its good to give the idea that HPV is fine to have. HPV can be harmful, even though they are considered low risk. I'm sure you'd agree that it's always a good idea to get tested regularly

 

Most (if not all?) cervical cancers are caused by HPV but not all HPV leads to cervical cancer.

 

The following quote is from: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/cervicalcancer.html

The cervix is the lower part of the uterus, the place where a baby grows during pregnancy. Cervical cancer is caused by several types of a virus called human papillomaviruses (HPV). The virus spreads through sexual contact. Most women's bodies are able to fight HPV infection. But sometimes the virus leads to cancer. You're at higher risk if you smoke, have many children, use birth control pills for a long time, or have HIV infection...

 

A vaccine for girls and young women protects against the four types of HPV that cause most cervical cancers.

[b0iiana]

i was raped too.. im 13, but i never told any adult.. but it feels bad aye..

[riobikini]

re:

 

Herzen: " I'm with wizer and sunshinegirl on this one: I suspect the post is fake. Something doesn't ring true.

 

I live in southeastern Pennsylvania , which is not much different from northeastern Pennsylvania where the OP allegedly lives. Believe me, rape laws are enforced in Pennsylvania--especially when a female minor's involved with a 28 year old man.

 

I suspect a troll is manipulating us. I've seen it over the years, and troll posts often involve rape allegations. The responses, nevertheless, were heartfelt, instructive and helpful. So value was added even if the OP was fabricated."

 

 

 

From time to time there's a sudden rash of rape posts on here -I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt and reply exactly as I would should the story actually be true.

 

I often wonder why there's such a fascination with such stories.

 

Trolls -or people simply looking for some strangely oriented attention- can be foiled by just answering as matter-of-factly as if we actually believed the story.

 

As you say, Herzen, it can add value to the post topic despite the motives of a troll.

 

I feel about it this way: if it's a genuine plea for help, then they recieved the best I had to offer; if it's a troll, then they were sorely disappointed.

 

-Rio

[Herzen]

re:

 

 

 

 

 

From time to time there's a sudden rash of rape posts on here -I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt and reply exactly as I would should the story actually be true.

 

I often wonder why there's such a fascination with such stories.

 

Trolls -or people simply looking for some strangely oriented attention- can be foiled by just answering as matter-of-factly as if we actually believed the story.

 

As you say, Herzen, it can add value to the post topic despite the motives of a troll.

 

I feel about it this way: if it's a genuine plea for help, then they recieved the best I had to offer; if it's a troll, then they were sorely disappointed.

 

-Rio

 

I agree, Rio. For those of us who post in good faith, we should assume, at least in our initial posts, that the problem is genuine and respond accordingly. By doing so, we assist those in legitimate need. If we're being punk'd, who cares. Either way, it's a plea for attention.

 

Trolls need us more than we need them.