Author matman Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 Sorry, you're missing the point. We are in an exclusive relationship. This is all in the past. I'm jealous about it because I still have to see these people about. Link to post Share on other sites
loveinlife Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Oic, yeah i missed that part. Im sure its hard to see or encounter these ppl who still come about. hope it doesn't bother you too much. how old are both of you? take care! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 My gf is friends with all her ex boyfriends, one night stands, and a FWB. I have some issues with this although I do trust her. She says shed rather sleep with friends than randoms, which I can understand but it affects me having to see them about even if it's only once in a while. Just wondering how to get over my jealousy. I don't worry about the exes so much but I do worry about the one nighters and especially the FWB as these will never be "closed" due to the fact that there was no relationship in the first place. I should qualify this and say it is not lots and it was explained that being single for a while ends up in this situation especially if you haven't had sex in months. I can relate to that though most of my past is on the relationship side of things but I have had some one nighters You came here for a reason... this situation is uncomfortable to you? Is this correct? In a perfect world how would you like this to be resolved? Yes, friend. Have trust in her... but do not put blinders on! I bolded the part that made me worry for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author matman Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 You came here for a reason... this situation is uncomfortable to you? Is this correct? In a perfect world how would you like this to be resolved? Yes, friend. Have trust in her... but do not put blinders on! I bolded the part that made me worry for you! Why did those particular bits make you worry. There's no way to resolve it. If they are really friends and only friends then I need to understand the situation. I wouldn't ask her to give up her friends. However, I can't see anyway of her making me understand that she has one one meetings (however rarely it happens) with short term exes and or a long term friend that happened to be a FWB for a few occasions. The group meetings with others who she had something happen with but they only meet in groups because of mutual friends at parties or whatever - nothing can be done about that. It happens. I sometimes see my exes at parties or social gatherings. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Why did those particular bits make you worry. There's no way to resolve it. If they are really friends and only friends then I need to understand the situation. I wouldn't ask her to give up her friends. However, I can't see anyway of her making me understand that she has one one meetings (however rarely it happens) with short term exes and or a long term friend that happened to be a FWB for a few occasions. The group meetings with others who she had something happen with but they only meet in groups because of mutual friends at parties or whatever - nothing can be done about that. It happens. I sometimes see my exes at parties or social gatherings. Read this thread. Similar basic concept... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t125448/ Yes, its the infrequent... one on one dates that kind of set me off too! Does she actively try to get attention from men other than you? Do you ever feel like she might be flirting with other guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Author matman Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 Read this thread. Similar basic concept... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t125448/ Yes, its the infrequent... one on one dates that kind of set me off too! Does she actively try to get attention from men other than you? Do you ever feel like she might be flirting with other guys? It's fairly new relationship so I haven't been out with her enough times to know this. To be fair, the one on ones were just before we got together so it might make a difference now but I suspect they will still be friends. I don't think she actively seeks male attention but she does have a reasonable amount of male friends (not all involved with in the past, maybe about 10, maybe about 20 if you include kisses, which supposedly mean nothing). Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 It's fairly new relationship so I haven't been out with her enough times to know this. To be fair, the one on ones were just before we got together so it might make a difference now but I suspect they will still be friends. I don't think she actively seeks male attention but she does have a reasonable amount of male friends (not all involved with in the past, maybe about 10, maybe about 20 if you include kisses, which supposedly mean nothing). Yeah, I got the impression that its a new relationship. In a new relationship... you need to be building trust in each other. Even though you start with kind of a blank slate... she needs to do things to build that trust up with you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author matman Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 Yeah, I got the impression that its a new relationship. In a new relationship... you need to be building trust in each other. Even though you start with kind of a blank slate... she needs to do things to build that trust up with you! So, despite me not liking the situation, I should give it a chance and see how she acts from here on. So far, she has done nothing but try to explain the situation and help me not worry about it so it's not like she's not trying to help. But I'm obviosuly going to find the difficult or I'll keep thinking about it even if I don't find it difficult meeting these people, which she was also happy to arrange so she's not hiding anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 So, despite me not liking the situation, I should give it a chance and see how she acts from here on. So far, she has done nothing but try to explain the situation and help me not worry about it so it's not like she's not trying to help. But I'm obviosuly going to find the difficult or I'll keep thinking about it even if I don't find it difficult meeting these people, which she was also happy to arrange so she's not hiding anything. Yeah... thats a great plan of action! Don't freak out... just play it cool, and dont be stupid about things. She might be an awesome girl that really appreciates you! Give her some time to decide what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matman Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 Yeah... thats a great plan of action! Don't freak out... just play it cool, and dont be stupid about things. She might be an awesome girl that really appreciates you! Give her some time to decide what she wants. If I can't deal with it though, then it must be a personal barrier of mine. Which is annoying because these other people might mean nothing more to her than just friends despite the past involvement. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 If I can't deal with it though, then it must be a personal barrier of mine. Which is annoying because these other people might mean nothing more to her than just friends despite the past involvement. Thoughts? Hmmm... well, just be honest with her. Dont ask her to give up her friends, but let her know how you feel! If she really values you, then she will make those changes on her own to accomodate your feelings... otherwise she is just kinda selfish and not really making you a priority. But give her time! That make any sense? Link to post Share on other sites
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