smoochygirl Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 [FONT=Comic Sans MS, Arial][sIZE=2] A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly...make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to die," she replied.[/sIZE][/FONT] This is one of my favorite joke i read on the internet. Share us your's;) Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?” Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!" Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me". The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?" After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?" Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 As a man lay in the final stages of terminal illness, he turned to his wife and said "I think after I'm gone, you should marry Bill Johnson next door". "Bill Johnson?" his wife exclaimed. "You two have fought for years. I thought you hated him", the wife said. The husband replied "I do". Link to post Share on other sites
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