tangleinmind Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 Hi Everyone! Plz give me some opinion. I don't understand my date! We aparted last Saturday, I want a serious boy/girlfriends relationship and he is not ready to settle down for that. So I told him that I don't want continue our just dating/casual relationship (we have been dating for 4months & I need to how what he wants things going on be btw us). Then he asked if we still could be together...maybe just as friends and I said yes but no intimacy. He said: ok. So we ended nicely. So an hour after he drop me of, he called me and told me that his family's poppy is getting better now (he told me before the poppy was sick). Then in the conversation he kept telling me that he is at home & playing the video game (I was a little sad & mad at him that he don't want to spend more time w/ me. I think he is seeing some one else). 30 mins later I called him and let him know that even though we can be friends, and he is a nice guy & 'd like to do the activites which we have in common but I need time to over-come w/ my feelings for him, so that things not get confuse w/ the emotional. Then he said ok and asked if he could call me but I said that I will call him. And we did end nicely again. But what I don't understand: He said that he really likes me a lot but why doesn't he want to be in a simply boy/girlfriends relationship? why would he still want to hang out w/ me (is it just for be friends). I want to make the situation really clear, so I don't get fool/hurt again. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 If you think you can be friends with him and not worry about still caring for him, go for it. Otherwise, I'd leave him alone. Too many other guys out there. Link to post Share on other sites
tangleinmind Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 I could see in his act & hear in his speak that he is afraid to use me but.....why??? If he just wants to play around then he has his free choice (I told him that if he don't want to be my boyfriend than I will respect him for that but he have to be honest to me). I really don't understand him? Link to post Share on other sites
tangleinmind Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 Sorry, I didn't mean "use" but lose me.... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 in the larger scheme of things, four months isn't a very long time to be dating someone, and maybe he's just not interested being in that kind of relationship right away, even if he does like you a lot. is there a particular reason for the rush to be his girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 he really does like you, but he doesn't want to be tied up. it's not about you, it's about what phase of his life he's going through. my advice is to cease all contact with him, otherwise you will be eternally wondering if he's about to say - OK, let's have an r/s! Been there, happy to no longer be talking to him! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
tangleinmind Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 Well, since there is about 40mins distance btw us and we only see each other on the weekend. So I just want to have the trust & confidence w/ us/him.....he have for me by knowing that we are boy/girlfriends. I just want to know that he is sincere about me/us. Do you guys think thats normal that on your dating time, you can date more than one? Is it a right thing to do or its just me that is so stupid to date only one at the time. But it hurt me alot and I think its neasty as well to be intimated w/ more than on at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 1, 2003 Share Posted April 1, 2003 again, you're not looking at the big picture. You are interested in a more exclusive relationship (wanting to be his girlfriend) because you've found the guy you like and who you want to be in a serious relationship. He, while he may like you a lot, isn't thinking along those lines necessarily. Most likely, his idea of being in a "committed" relationship is still dating you for four months and is happy to keep it that way ... or I should say, he doesn't see a problem with just dating you. He doesn't see a need to put labels on the relationship (boyfriend, girlfriend, exclusive, etc). It has nothing to do with wanting date just you, but you can't keep asking us whether he considers you as his girlfriend because only HE can do that. You need to talk with him to see what he expects of this relationship with you. Still, don't be surprised if he hasn't thought that far ahead, because guys are wired differently than us girls, and often don't immediately think in terms of "boyfriend-girlfriend" the way we do. Chances are, he knows he likes you, and he's happy at leaving it at just that. Which is why I'm saying four months of dating doesn't automatically mean a woman is girlfriend material for a guy, it sometimes take longer for the idea to sink into some of their heads! Link to post Share on other sites
tangleinmin Posted April 2, 2003 Share Posted April 2, 2003 quankanne, I'm agreed w/ you I do understand the sistuation now, thank you! but I have a questions to ask: Is it normal & ok to date more than one on your dating time? Link to post Share on other sites
Kidd Seuss Posted April 2, 2003 Share Posted April 2, 2003 Originally posted by tangleinmind why would he still want to hang out w/ me (is it just for be friends). I want to make the situation really clear, so I don't get fool/hurt again. [color=darkred][/color]You have to watch out for some guys. I know that in my younger and more immature days, I would say something along those lines so I wouldn't be tied down to one person. If I ever got caught with another gal, I could always pull out the "we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend" card and there's really no commitment. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but it is something to definately be weary about. And I also had people who I was "just friends" with that I could find a way to seduce. Perhaps you should see how he deals with just talking to you on the phone/internet and no actual presence. See if his desire to speak with you diminishes in any way. Just a thought. Drew Link to post Share on other sites
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