How do I get him back?

[SensacionDeAmor]

Alright, so I used to have a really deep, amazing relationship with this guy. We were together for only a few months...but it was heaven. We were complete polar opposites in some ways, but our personalities would rub off on each other. Either way, though, we cared about each other and that's all we needed in common.

 

After we had first met, I found out he was asking my friends all about me soon after. Interests, dislikes, even favorite FOODS! So he delivered the news to my friend to ask me out for him, and as soon as my friend got a hold on me, I acquired his number and told him I'd love to. We talked for a short while on the phone, and I was insanely happy.

 

Our relationship progressed quickly; we talked on the phone a lot. He would actually call me when he said he would, and he really went out of his way to see me.

 

He was very devoted. We were sexually active and though I thought I was pregnant a few times, he was pretty supportive about it. He never planned on having kids but he would tell me that he'd never leave me if he got me pregnant.

 

Then he started hanging out with one of my exes and suddenly he was changing. He started telling people he was single so, at my friend's house with numerous friends, I called him to dump him.

 

Apparently he had already dumped me, though I have no recollection of it ever happening. I'm not sure I was supposed to - his friend told me "It just took you a long time to figure it out."

 

Either way, I wasn't mad because he apparently dumped me. But at that point, I was going through some issues with thinking I was pregnant and having some tough home problems to work through, and he was the last thing on my mind. I feel horrible that I didn't care, because we argued over e-mails and it seemed like he really did.

 

But now it appears the karma has struck me.

 

About a month or two ago, a good while after we had broken up, I started to dream of him. Every night. I would dream of memories of our relationship. And then I realized how much I truly did care about him and what I had thrown away.

 

I miss him terribly every single day now, but we haven't spoken in 3 months. And the last time we did, it wasn't a pleasant conversation. It was an argument.

 

 

I had some friends ask him about me casually and his responses were hope-shattering. He says he would prefer to have nothing to do with me anymore 'cause we don't have anything in common and he says I changed halfway through our relationship, and his friend (my ex) and him are convinced that I won't change for the better.

 

But I've been carefully evaluating what he's said and working on what he dislikes about me, and I believe I've gotten my life priorities in order and would be an even better girlfriend, should we have a second chance.

 

I need to know how to break the re-frozen ice between us, though...how am I supposed to start a conversation with him casually that leads to us getting back together?

 

It would be a lot better to do it in a public place than on the internet, so if I see him, what should I say?

 

Please help me out, and I do apologize for this post being so long. I really do think you guys on here could help me, though, because the advice you give is wise and of high quality.

 

I'm counting on you!

[IMUSTBEAFOOL]

[FONT=Arial Narrow][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial Narrow]In a perfect world, one we've never known, we would never need to face these kinds of troubles[/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Right now Christine you are trying to find your way through life. And because we are a product of evolution, we evolve in specific ways that are unique to us. [/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow]Sometimes we all feel a need to change, and to do that we have to rearrange, and move on to something new. You probably feel that your dreams are fallin' apart, but they are not, you are just finding a way to make a brand new start. Its like you're almost afraid to be true to yourself, so now don't, don't be afraid of yourself. Once you get past the pain, you'll learn to find your love again - So keep your heart open cause love will find a way to bring you back to where you know you were.[/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Since you left me, each night I stare into the stars I wonder where you are. I wonder did she [/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow]think that maybe if she said goodbye to me she'll understand the reason why you have to go thru all this. But you are not alone, I am with you and our[/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow] love will find a way to survive. I know that our love effects everything around us, and right now you are mourning for a lost loved one while falling out of love but you and I are [/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow]smart people, we can work together. You and I are passionate people, we will figure out how to heal you. [/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow]All you are doing is [/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow]trying to find yourselves, and I stand by your side so the struggle will be easier.[/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Before you realize it your life will change in a way, and I can’t wait to see the new you. Youwill be able to inspire others by being able to keep our souls connected thru all of these[/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow] calamities we have weathered and yes there will be challenges that need to be met, but the one constant amid this churning cavalcade of change is our enduring love. I understand that when you felt the person you loved died, you sank into this state, this depression, and didn't want to do anything to repair the relationship but you and I are surviours, we've both been in other failed relationships, and we know that every one is different and that whatever it takes to make this one work, we can do it. We have already created our own expression between us and it makes sense to us - I think it's clear we were truly meant for each other. So, Christine, [/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow]I would be honored if you would trust me in helping you find your way home. [/FONT]

 

When the lover

goes, the vow though

broken remains, that

trace of eternity

brings down among us

stays, to give

dignity to the suffering

and to intensify it.

Only love can quiet the fear

of love, and only love can save

from diminishment the love

that we must lose to have.

 

All I want is tolove you for the rest of my life… to wake up every morning with you by my side, knowing that no matter what happens, I’ll be able to come home to your loving arms.

All I want is to share everything with you… to talk to you about our ideas, our dreams, the little everyday things that make us laugh, and the not-so-little things that we can’t help worrying about.

All I want is to give you my love… as a place you can always come to for acceptance or the simple comfortthat silence brings when things left unspoken can still be understood.

All I want is to grow old with you… towatch our life unfold, our dreams, one by one, come true…

All I want is to love you forever.

[CaliGuy]

The more time you focus on winning him back, the less likely your chances are that will ever happen.

 

Think about it for a second? Do you love and respect yourself, even a bit? If so you'll soon realize that someone who would treat you this way does not deserve to be in your life.

 

What your focus should be on right now is you. Hang out with friends, dive into new hobbies, exercise at least 5 days a week for 1 hour at a time and then do some self-reflection to find out why you are so adamant about having someone back who doesn't want you and treated you this way.

 

After some time you'll realize that you don't need someone like him in your life and eventually, when you meet the right guy, you'll be thankful for the experience and very glad you weren't "stuck" with this guy.