natch Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Hi, i am getting married in a little over a month. While i do know, without a doubt, that i want to spend the rest of my life with my h2b i am so totally nervous about our wedding night...we are both virgins. So many people have told me their versions of what it will be like, some encouraging yet most just cause my mind to race at the thought of how awkward or awful it might be, not to mention painful. We have made a committment to wait till we get married and that is something important to us both. Any advice...? HELP! Someone please... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 sex is not that fantastic mind-blowing stuff you read about in books by Sandra Brown or some of the other chick-lit material, nor is it the horrible "duty" that you sometimes hear women talking about: It falls somewhere in between those two. Mind you, it can veer more in one direction or the other, but for the most part, it's middle of the road stuff. the most important thing to remember about it is that it's about how comfortable you are and how well you communicate with your partner – obviously, when you care about the person you are sleeping with, it's going to make the experience that much more better. And in marriage, as the love grows so does your experience with sex. I didn't wait for marriage, mostly because I wasn't planing to get married. Or so I thought. Anyhow, I experimented, and you know what? The most satisfying partner was the one I ended up marrying, because there was something there deeper than just the physical end of sex, long before we got serious about the relationship. Fifteen years later, and despite some of the problems we've had regarding our sex life because of aging, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Because he's someone who *knows* me, and more importantly, someone I can have fun with even as we're doing our thing – it's not a duty, it's not a goal to be overly romantic, but a way we can communicate, and often with shared laughter. the first time you get with someone, it's going to be awkward, because you're getting to know that person and you're trying to match up to your partner's needs. And you're VERY self-conscious about things ... it'll be like that until something clicks mentally. Gradually, though, you'll be comfortable with him, and what you're doing, and it just gets better. advice: If you're at a point where you are truly comfortable with each other, and are able to share new adventures, then your first time isn't going to be as bad as you fear. Because love-making is hugely comprised of how you communicate with each other and how comfy you are together. good luck and congrats on the upcoming wedding! Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 Hi there Thank you for your encouragement...we had a good chat and well...we have amonth to go and i think we will be ok. thanks again... Link to post Share on other sites
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