I want my Husband and Family Back!!!

[ttn22]

My husband of 3 yrs left me recently(about a month ago). We're both pretty young, he's 19 and I'm 22. We were together forever before we got married, since he was 12 and I was 14. We also have a 2 1/2 yr old little boy together. Throughout our whole relationship he's been very jeoulse(especially in the beggining). Any time I would talk to another guy he would get pissed at me. So because of that we have broken up a couple times throughout our whole relationship. When I was 18 I moved away and joined the Air Force. During this time we were not together, but still talked almost every day and wrote each other letters. Well, I started to sleep with a guy in the dorms and then not too long after that he decided that he wanted to get back together with me. So I broke it off with the other guy. Well our relationship was long distance for a year and during that time I ended up sleeping with the other guy again. Well I end up getting pregnant by my husband so he moves to Idaho with me and we get married. Our marriage was great! We were so in love and so excited for our baby. About a year into our marriage he found out that I had cheated on him before we got married. Ever since then things haven't been the same. He has never been able to forgive me for it. I have never cheated on him while we've been married. But of course he says he can't believe me because he doesn't trust me anymore. Well he decided to stay with me after he found out. He said he was going to try and forget about it because he loved me. Well I thought everything was going OK until recently when he told me he wanted a divorce. I asked him why and he says he just can't get over what I did, and he can't trust me. The past year we've fought alot because hes just been so angry. Anyway I have moved out into my parents house. We talk on the phone sometimes, and he says he wants to be friends. I see him every weekend because one weekend he get's our son and the next I do. I suggested counseling and he says he doesn't think it'll work. I asked him if he would go he said yes, but he can't guaruntee he'll try 100% with it. I asked when he's filing for divorce and he says he doesn't know when. But he insists that he doesn't plan on getting back together with me. He wrote me a e-mail the other day and says he misses laughing, cuddling and loving me. He says he misses our family and thinks about it every day. But he says he doesn't miss the bad stuff. This weekend when he dropped off our son he gave me a really long hug. I've been begging him to give us another chance but he keeps saying no. I've written him so many letters. Should i stop acting so desperate and act like I'm moving on? Do you think If i give him time that he'll come around? I really love him and don't want a divorce what should I do?

[whichwayisup]

Just give him abit of space to figure things out. Don't divorce, maybe just stay separated and together focus on your child.

 

You two both need to come into your own, do some growing and hopefully in time, you two will find a way back to eachother.

 

BE friends. BE parents. The rest if you push it, will fall apart...He isn't ready right now for being a husband, or to be in the marriage.

[Daniella]

Whichwayisup is right...don't push it! You are both young and need time an growth.

If it makes you feel any better...H & I married at 19 and we are going on 22 years. It's alot of work but it can happen:)

[butterfly37]

You were both very young, and still are. He's probably feeling that he never "lived". Give him space. Don't make him feel caged in, trapped. He'll fight you every step of the way and it could very well mean the end of your relationship. Work on yourself. Educate yourself. Read, read, read. Take up a hobby. Be interesting. Be mysterious. Be cool. Remember what attracted him to you in the first place. Don't let the circumstances change you into someone that you don't want to be. He doesn't want to think that he will be spending the rest of his life who is worried, anxious, sad, demanding,....(the list goes on). He wants to spend his life with someone that makes him feel good. And this is a great place to be if you want to learn from a bunch of people that are going through it or have gone through it. We're here to help eachother. We're here for you.

[ttn22]

Thanks for the advice. Lately we've been pretty friendly on the phone, haven't really talked about much dealing with our relationship. The other day when he came to pick our son up he gave me a really long hug before he left and said he loved me(I didn't say it back).

 

Yesterday we took our son to the zoo. That went pretty well. Then near the end I asked him if he was still 100% sure that he wanted a divorce and he said he thinks so. So then I ask him when he's going to file and he says he doesn't know(every time I ask him i get some kind of excuse like: I don't see a need to do it right now, it doesn't feel right right now, my gut feeling is that it's not right at the time). So then I suggested that I'll just do it myself next week just to get the stupid thing over with since he's sure. Then he got really pissed at me and said we should just wait. I really don't want a divorce but if he's sure and he isn't going to change is mind then what are we waiting for? I'm so confused!!! So then I sent him an e-mail last night saying I wasn't sure what he wanted and why do we have to wait. This was his response:

 

I really dont know what to say. i understand that you hate hearing that but thats all that comes to me my emossions are so complicated that i have trouble figuring out how i feel so your not by yourself. THeres so much to think of and so much i do think of that i can not set a plan cuase i dont like the feeling of doing that divorce is so final and im not sure i am ready for things to be so final but at the same time i dont want to sit here and tell you that in x amount of months were going to suddnely get back together. you know how i feel about our situation and im not sure i can change my mind even if i really wanted too. im so frustrated by everything i just cant think strait thats why i am trying to wait until things seem to just calm down a bit so i can really think about everything. I know i didnt give you any real answers here but i hope that it helped.

 

What should I do? Should I just wait and see what happens? Should I push for the divorce even though I don't want it? Should I do NC? Please help!

[ttn22]

Any advice? Please it would be apreciated, I havent really had any responses

[sumdude]

The more you pressure him the further away he will go. Live your life, act like you're OK with how things are right now. Stay as upbeat as you can, Don't ask any more questions or talk about the marriage, relationship or divorce unless he brings it up first. When you do talk about it try not to be negative but don't point out all the good things, right now he won't recognise them. Don't initiate contact unless it's about your child, let him contact you . Stay busy and do things that make you feel good. Live learn and grow as an individual. Don't go looking for anyone else. Be happy being you. Play hard to get. Be prepared for any outcome.

[ttn22]

OK, so here's an update on my situation. We talked on the phone a couple days ago and I asked him how he was feeling about us and if he had decided what he wanted. He wouldn't come out and say anything and said he was still very confused. So I said that means you're sure you want a divorce? And he said we're going to go to counseling right? I was like yah. Then he said he shouldn't have to tell me, but that his actions should be louder than his words(by him going to counseling and not filing for divorce right away.)

 

Last weekend when my husband came to pick our son up he was being pretty friendly. Usually he doesn't stick around and talk for too long, but he was lingering. I was the one that was like ok...and started to try and leave and he kept talking.

 

He then said that he had thought about me the whole way there(2 1/2 hrs) and that it made him sad. He hugged me and then kissed me. Then we talked for a little while and he started to joke around with me and said that he was horny. That turned into us doing some stuff.

 

Anyway, this Friday I'm going down to pick my son up and I asked him if he wanted to go to dinner with me and our son, he said yes as long as I didn't bring the topic of us up. Then on Saturday we have our first appointment with the marriage counseler.

 

I don't want to get my hopes up because I know he's still confused and that it could still go either way but I can't help but have a little hope. Does it sound like he might be wiling to work things out between us?All opinions are appreciated! Thanks guys you are great!!!

[Citizen Erased]

Last weekend when my husband came to pick our son up he was being pretty friendly. Usually he doesn't stick around and talk for too long, but he was lingering. I was the one that was like ok...and started to try and leave and he kept talking.

 

He then said that he had thought about me the whole way there(2 1/2 hrs) and that it made him sad. He hugged me and then kissed me. Then we talked for a little while and he started to joke around with me and said that he was horny. That turned into us doing some stuff.

 

Be very aware that he may be using you because he is a typical 19 year old boy and wants sex 24/7.

 

Do not have anything to do with him sexually unless your marriage is back on track. If you do, he will get used to it and that is a hold you cannot climb your way out of.

Good luck with your MC.

[Gunny376]

OK? Lets get facts straight!

 

You're husband being 19, you've got a 10% chance of pulling this together! The divorce rate for men that marry under the age of 25 is 90%!

 

With that said? You need to back off on the pressure to save the marriage ~ and work on communication and in creating a dialog between the two of you. You need to get back to the basic fundamentals of communication and being friends and building upon frinedship!

 

Forget sex! No sex! You've got to work on the fundamentals of becoming good friends, best friends, exclusive best friend, best of friends, each others best friend!

 

You've got to "like" each other ~ before you can love each other!

 

Ask any couple that's been together for forty or fifty years? And they will tell you! "He/She's my best friend!"

[Gunny376]

You were both very young, and still are. He's probably feeling that he never "lived". Give him space. Don't make him feel caged in, trapped. He'll fight you every step of the way and it could very well mean the end of your relationship. Work on yourself. Educate yourself. Read, read, read. Take up a hobby. Be interesting. Be mysterious. Be cool. Remember what attracted him to you in the first place. Don't let the circumstances change you into someone that you don't want to be. He doesn't want to think that he will be spending the rest of his life who is worried, anxious, sad, demanding,....(the list goes on). He wants to spend his life with someone that makes him feel good. And this is a great place to be if you want to learn from a bunch of people that are going through it or have gone through it. We're here to help eachother. We're here for you.

 

I realize you've caught a lot of "flak" for your stance of being your DH's "best friend" But this is where it all begins?

 

IMHO? I don't think your DH appreciates the "gem"that he has in you? He's casting perals before swine!

 

But you've got "it" right! Its all about ~ FRIENDSHIP~ AND BEING THE BEST OF FRIENDS!

[ttn22]

Thanks Gunny. So when you say I should stop putting pressure to save the marriage, does that mean that we shouldn't go to the marriage counseling? How do you just act like friends with someone and you love them? I'm just confused, I'm not sure if I should just give up and say OK let's get this divorce so that I can move on. Waiting in Limbo like this is driving me nuts. I understand that a good relationship needs a strong foundation of friendship, I agree with you on that one. Lust will fade but that friendship is what's going to hold it together when your older!

[Citizen Erased]

OK? Lets get facts straight!

 

You're husband being 19, you've got a 10% chance of pulling this together! The divorce rate for men that marry under the age of 25 is 90%!

 

With that said? You need to back off on the pressure to save the marriage ~ and work on communication and in creating a dialog between the two of you. You need to get back to the basic fundamentals of communication and being friends and building upon frinedship!

 

Forget sex! No sex! You've got to work on the fundamentals of becoming good friends, best friends, exclusive best friend, best of friends, each others best friend!

 

You've got to "like" each other ~ before you can love each other!

 

Ask any couple that's been together for forty or fifty years? And they will tell you! "He/She's my best friend!"

 

Wow where did you hear that from? It's probably true but damn that is scary. Will NOT let my bf propose for about another 10 years just to be safe

[Gunny376]

You've got to work on building a dialog ~ an never-ending, on-going conversation.

 

By all means go to MC, but with the goal of improving your comprehsion, understanding, communication. With the goal of trying to fix the problems ~ not the blame. With the goal of acquiring the skill set necessary to be marriage.

 

And yes its hard, frustrating work. Its not always going to be fun and its not always going to be easy ~ but its the necessary work you need to do if your ever going to be even remotely happily married to this guy or anyone else.

 

You don't find "the one" you create him ~ and he creates you, and together you create each other. You learn hm inside and out ~ and vice versa. You learn what makes him "tick" and he learns what makes you "tock"

 

You "build" a marriage, and to do that you've got to have a good solid foundation ~ and that foundation is friendship. Its that good solid friendship that keeps you together when from time to time you fall out of love.

 

I've heard a lot of people say, "Hell, the first six years we were married? I didn't even like my wife/husband!"

 

For most people their best shot at martial happiness and bliss is with the first person they marry. Simply because you will never be as trusting, as naive, and innoncent as your were with the best one!

 

____________________________________________

 

To darlin_coco

 

I wrote several papers in college about divorce, etc. To do so, I had to document my research and sources. That's where that came from. The source was a paid research database used by colleges, universities, attorneys, researchers called Lexus.

 

The divorce rate for men that get married because the woman got pregno? ~ 90%

 

Women file 90% of the divorce petitions.

 

Only 20% of couples that "live-together" ever get married. Of the ones that do? They have a higher divorce rate than couple that didn't "co-habitat" together.

 

The divorce rate for women with advance degrees (Masters and above) is the same as it is for women who are high school dropouts.

 

40 to 45 % of women cheat on thier SO's, generally with someone they meet through work.

 

A women who has had breat augmentation surgery? Is 10 times more at risk for a divorce. Same if she's had a breast reduction surgery.

 

The divorce rate is the same for couples that dated in excess of three to four years as it is for couples that dated less than three to four years. (The optiumn length of time to date prior to marriage is 2.9 years)

[Citizen Erased]

To darlin_coco

 

I wrote several papers in college about divorce, etc. To do so, I had to document my research and sources. That's where that came from. The source was a paid research database used by colleges, universities, attorneys, researchers called Lexus.

 

The divorce rate for men that get married because the woman got pregno? ~ 90%

 

Women file 90% of the divorce petitions.

 

Only 20% of couples that "live-together" ever get married. Of the ones that do? They have a higher divorce rate than couple that didn't "co-habitat" together.

 

The divorce rate for women with advance degrees (Masters and above) is the same as it is for women who are high school dropouts.

 

40 to 45 % of women cheat on thier SO's, generally with someone they meet through work.

 

A women who has had breat augmentation surgery? Is 10 times more at risk for a divorce. Same if she's had a breast reduction surgery.

 

The divorce rate is the same for couples that dated in excess of three to four years as it is for couples that dated less than three to four years. (The optiumn length of time to date prior to marriage is 2.9 years)

 

Wow I'm screwed then

 

I live with my boyfriend (he is 19, I am almost 20)

October 30th is our 3 year anniversary. We probably won't even be engaged for another 10 years

I will have to have breast reduction surgery if they don't stop damn growing

I work with alot of attractive men (okay that was a joke). Women, alot of attractive women.

 

Is their a statistic for women leaving their husbands for another woman?

 

But wow I am impressed that you remember all of that!

[Gunny376]

Wow I'm screwed then

 

I live with my boyfriend (he is 19, I am almost 20)

October 30th is our 3 year anniversary. We probably won't even be engaged for another 10 years

I will have to have breast reduction surgery if they don't stop damn growing

I work with alot of attractive men (okay that was a joke). Women, alot of attractive women.

 

Is their a statistic for women leaving their husbands for another woman?

 

But wow I am impressed that you remember all of that!

 

Not really, you've but to take that information/knowledge and understand how much work is required to have a successful relationhip ~ its work.

 

If you want to have a LTR that's successful? Then you're going to have earn the Old Fashion way ~ you're going to have to work for it, and at it and not take it for granted for one single day.

 

Don't become obessive about it ~ but don't take it for granted. IOW's BALANCE!

 

Now that's the tricky part! Gaining and achieving balance.

 

The single biggest thing that I see couples doing that is ruining relationships/marriages in Western society is this:

 

Trying to achieve TOO much, have TOO much, accomplish TOO much, in TOO short a period of time.

 

Both spouses trying to have a full time successful careers, the half a million dollar home at the country club, driving excuative luxuary sedans they can't afford, whle having children, running too and fro from school to soccer practice, dance recitial, karate practice, ball games etc. Trying to get in ten years where it took me thrity to get.

 

They go at this for ten or twelve years and they end up feeling like roommates heading for divorce! No kidding!

[ttn22]

Well me and the hubby went to the marriage counseler on Sat. I have to say it was a lot harder than I expected. Things came up from the past and details were given and it was hard for my husband to hear. He was in tears for parts of it. When the MC asked why he was there he said that at first it was because I had wanted him to go, but he says that now he's confused and he misses me and he's not sure what he wants. The car ride home was silent and he wouldn't talked to me, in fact he was so pissed off that I was sure he wouldn't want to go back.

 

So Sun. he sends me a text saying that he still wants to go to therapy and that he thinks it will be good for us regardless of the outcome. At this point I'm unsure if I want to go back because he said a couple of really hurtful things, but I guess it has to get worse before it can get better. I just don't know. I mean it's hard to tell since we've only went to one session, but I don't know how serious he is about it. I just don't want to waste my time if he isn't going to put forth the effort. AHHH!

[ttn22]

Well, husband still won't talk to me about our therapy session. He's still pretty pissed about hearing all the details about everything. He refuses to talk to me. I made an appointment for our next therapy session on Sunday and I sent him a text to let him know. He said ok.

 

Why does he want still want to go to therapy if he won't talk to me? Do yo think he might be saving it for the next session? Any thoughts?

[Toolate]

 

So Sun. he sends me a text saying that he still wants to go to therapy and that he thinks it will be good for us regardless of the outcome. At this point I'm unsure if I want to go back because he said a couple of really hurtful things, but I guess it has to get worse before it can get better. I just don't know. I mean it's hard to tell since we've only went to one session, but I don't know how serious he is about it. I just don't want to waste my time if he isn't going to put forth the effort. AHHH!

 

 

So do you want to save the relationship? Him saying hurtful things isn't right but the MC can help establish boundaries. If you are wasting your time with this then you are also wasting his.

[ttn22]

I am the one who wants to make this work... he is the one who wanted a divorce in the first place. I just wish i knew what kind of effort he's really going to put into therapy because at first he said he didn't want to go. Now that he is going he wants to go and continue to go but he wont talk to me outside of that. Which I'm sure is because he's really hurt, I dont see how that will get us anywhere. I just wish I knew one way or the other, whether he's going to try or not. I cant get a straight answer from him. If anyone was to waste anyones time he would be wasting mine. I want this to work 100% but Im not sure where his hearts at.

[ttn22]

Well it's been a while since I've been on here, and lets just say that things have taken a turn for the worst.

 

We went to another counseling session, and he expressed that he wanted to work on being friends and that he doesn't think he can get back together with me. That there is just to much that he will never get over no matter how much I change, or who I become in the future.

 

This of course made me a wreck, and I went back to square one begging and pleading with him to give me another chance. I wrote him an e-mail telling him how much I love him and how things will change, you all know what I'm talking about. I know it was the wrong thing to do, but sometimes when your in pain it's hard to see what the right thing really is.

 

He wrote back saying he really appresiated everything I said, and that it all sounded like a dream. He said he loved hearing everything I wanted to do with him in the future, and the changes I would make. He says he just doesn't know what to do, and that he doesn'understand why I'm acting like I love him now, and not when we were together. He said he doesn't think he can change his desicion ever. He kept apologizing in the letter and said he wasn't trying to sound mean and he was just telling me how he felt. Then at the end he wrote I love you very much and I hope you are well, write me back and tell me what you think.

 

Since then we have talked on the phone, and the conversations have been kind of heated. I keep pushing for some kind of direction, and I think it's just pushing him in the other direction. He says he has no plans on when he is going to divorce me, and when I asked him why he says he doesn't know. He says he doesn't want to rush into it. But he just wants to be friends.

 

So here is my question for you guys. What should I do? Should I try and be his friend? I mean how can you be friends with someone you love? We aren't even divorced yet! If we were to be friends it would be unfair to both of us becuase I would be hoping the whole time that we would get back together. But on the other hand I can't just completely cut off contact with him so I can get over him because we have a son together. Should I go ahead and just file for divorce since I know that's what he wants, or wait for him to do it. He has no immediate plans to do it, so I don't know how long it could be. I really don't want a divorce though. I tell him that and he says don't file then. I'm so confused. Any advice would help, I'm stuck here.

[analyseThis]

Well it's been a while since I've been on here, and lets just say that things have taken a turn for the worst.

 

We went to another counseling session, and he expressed that he wanted to work on being friends and that he doesn't think he can get back together with me. That there is just to much that he will never get over no matter how much I change, or who I become in the future.

 

This of course made me a wreck, and I went back to square one begging and pleading with him to give me another chance. I wrote him an e-mail telling him how much I love him and how things will change, you all know what I'm talking about. I know it was the wrong thing to do, but sometimes when your in pain it's hard to see what the right thing really is.

 

He wrote back saying he really appresiated everything I said, and that it all sounded like a dream. He said he loved hearing everything I wanted to do with him in the future, and the changes I would make. He says he just doesn't know what to do, and that he doesn'understand why I'm acting like I love him now, and not when we were together. He said he doesn't think he can change his desicion ever. He kept apologizing in the letter and said he wasn't trying to sound mean and he was just telling me how he felt. Then at the end he wrote I love you very much and I hope you are well, write me back and tell me what you think.

 

Since then we have talked on the phone, and the conversations have been kind of heated. I keep pushing for some kind of direction, and I think it's just pushing him in the other direction. He says he has no plans on when he is going to divorce me, and when I asked him why he says he doesn't know. He says he doesn't want to rush into it. But he just wants to be friends.

 

So here is my question for you guys. What should I do? Should I try and be his friend? I mean how can you be friends with someone you love? We aren't even divorced yet! If we were to be friends it would be unfair to both of us becuase I would be hoping the whole time that we would get back together. But on the other hand I can't just completely cut off contact with him so I can get over him because we have a son together. Should I go ahead and just file for divorce since I know that's what he wants, or wait for him to do it. He has no immediate plans to do it, so I don't know how long it could be. I really don't want a divorce though. I tell him that and he says don't file then. I'm so confused. Any advice would help, I'm stuck here.

I know exactly how your H feels; i must say it will never be the same again for him as it is for me. Everytime he looks at you he will see the image of you cheating on him; and this is clear in what you have said; he says hurtful things cuz deep down inside he himself is severly bruised and severly hurt from your cheating actions. He then apologizes for them and becomes nice and tries the counselling cuz he still loves you. Frankly I dont think he will ever see you the same; unless he can forgive you and see beyond that incident..for a guy this is highly unlikely...but i wouldnt say impossible. Right now hes fighting a fight thats between him and himself (his heart and his mind)

 

That being said..

 

Im sorry to hear about your situation; but after reading everything you wrote; i must say give the man what he wants; but set a dead line as to when the divorce must happen by....for your own mental health simply because you have no idea how long hes going to take..5months ... a year? ....2 years?? you dont know? and at the same times its not fair to be waiting that long just to be dropped in the end. Id say talk to him but politely and diplomatically suggest a deadline: couple of months max? If you go No contact now that will just reaffirm to him that you dont love him and he will leave you for good and possibly never return.

 

Try to be there for him; and show him that you love him. Tell him or express to him that the whole friends thing is hard for you; and you love him therefore you cant just be 'friends'. But let him take it at his own pace. He needs to heal and come to his senses from this massive hearbreak/trust breech.

[ttn22]

I am so dumb! I have taken the advice posted on here, and have tried to just back off and be a friend to my h. It was going pretty good. We would talk a little every night after he talked to our son. Nothing big just some small talk about our days.

 

Then Thurs. night I checked his face book and looked at his friends and saw some girls on there. Well, i kind of flipped out and called my h and asked him about it. He said I was acting stupid and he started to get really mad at me. He said that he really liked the way I was acting before this, and it made him want to be with me. He says every time he starts to think that though, I do something to mess it up. I said I was sorry becuase I realized that we are separated, and It's not my place to really question who his friends are.

 

The next day I send him a text saying sorry again, and I said that it just hurt me to see all those girls on there. He wrote back saying: there is nothing to be hurt over. Then I wrote back that I didn't expect him to be dating so soon, and he wrote back: I'm not dating!

 

When I picked up our son yesterday he stayed for a little while and we made some small talk. Well he just looked so cute(I know it was wrong, you don't have to tell me), and I asked if he wanted to do stuff. He was a little hesitent, but we ended up being sexual anyway. When he left he gave me a long hug and he acidentally said I love you.

 

Recently I asked him if I could take him somewhere for his birthday(Oct 31). He said sure. So I got us tickets to see a comedy show with his favorite comedian. So we plan on going to that Nov 2nd. I asked him if he still wanted to go and he said: you don't want to go now? I said that i do I was just making sure.

 

SO I guess what I'm getting at is do you think he might change his my about the divorce? I know not to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to be hopeful at times. He has put this divorce off for almost 3 months now. When we first seperated he was adament that he was divorcing me and that he would NEVER give me another chance. Now he says things like i don't know, I don't know if I can(give me another chance), I'm confused. And he keeps putting off the divorce. ANd then he makes comments that when I just act like his friend and not all needy it really makes him want to be with me. I know he's hurt and doesn't know what to do...so I wonder if there's any chance? His pride is important, and I think that it's getting in the way.

 

NC isn't an option because of our son. Also in the relationship he says I didn't really act like I loved him, so for me to ignore him might do more harm than good. So my plan is to be friendly when we talk, but not needy. I won't ask him about the relationship. I plan on doing this until we go out for his birthday in 2 weeks, and then maybe see where he's at? Does this sound like a good idea?

[ttn22]

Hello everyone! It's been a long time since I've been on here, and I'm in need of some advice. Me and my H are still seperated...it's been 4 months now.

 

When we first got seperated he was adimant that we would never get back together. No matter how much I begged he said there was no chance of it. 4 months later the story has changed a little...not significantly but enough to be confused.

 

We haven't started antyhing with the divorce yet. The other day I asked him if he could give me another chance. We talked about it for a long time, and I thought that he was going to say no. But instead he said he didn't know. He said it wasnt a yes and it wasnt a no.

 

Lately he's been texting me saying he misses me and misses our family. The other night for the first time in a long time I texted I Love You to him. I figured he would ignore it but he texted me back I love you too. This was big, becuase usally when I say stuff like that since we've been seperated he just ignores it.

 

So what do you guys think? Do you thing he might be comin around? Or am I getting my hopes up as usual?

[Gunny376]

Just give him abit of space to figure things out. Don't divorce, maybe just stay separated and together focus on your child.

 

You two both need to come into your own, do some growing and hopefully in time, you two will find a way back to eachother.

 

BE friends. BE parents. The rest if you push it, will fall apart...He isn't ready right now for being a husband, or to be in the marriage.

 

Quit trying to make it happen? Let it happen!

 

Time out! Learn how to exhale! Learn how to breath!

 

Regardless? Its going to be all right! Just keep saying that over and over!