Fun2BMe Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I had a very messy break up a couple of relationships ago. It ended very disasterously and I was torn apart. He said something very hurtful and I never wanted to talk to him or see him again, I wished misery for the rest of his life and and eventually moved on. In July he sent me an email that had nothing to do with us, on current even topics. After contemplating whether to respond or not, I finally did after a few days to give him an opportunity to apologize for how he had hurt me. We emailed for a few weeks then I stopped cold turkey for a few weeks seeing that he was not even talking about us and what he did to me. In the meantime he'd initiate more emails. Finally I responded again last week and he emails again about his family, what's in the news, his work, asks for my opinions about things. I am getting angry at him all over again seeing that he is not apologizing and getting mad at myself for replying to him after over a year of NC. I now send very short replies without asking questions so that they are dead end emails he will not have an opportunity to respond to so he gets the picture, but he picks things apart and writes back. Should I ask him to apologize to me if he wants to continue contacting me? I wish he would do it on his own. There's no way I would even consider talking to him on the phone. I guess I have some unresolved feelings and he's stirring things up and driving me crazy all over again. I don't know if I should get all mad at him or what to do. I have another one of his emails he's waiting on me to respond to and it's getting harder and harder to pretend there's no problems, or that I have miraculously forgiven him over time without ever having received an apology. What should I do?? He used to get upset if I didn't return his calls or emails right away so I don't want him to think I'm playing games when I take long to respond. It's only that it is hard for me to respond or decide whether to respond or not or what to say to him. So far it's all about everything except how rotten he was at the end at the very messy break up and it's hurting me all over again and I get mad at myself for going along with his 'friends' emails when inside I'm so hurt and maybe he will lose respect thinking I am over it without ever having received an apology from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Its Bull. He wants to brush off what happened and tell you all his la la land happy life now. Don't buy it. Don't even view its contents. Block his email . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 Its Bull. He wants to brush off what happened and tell you all his la la land happy life now. Don't buy it. Don't even view its contents. Block his email . But he's not throwing his new life in my face in that way. He's being super nice but it's still pissing me off. I don't know if I can just ignore him after I've already started to respond. But if I end the correspondence, what should I say? (not that he said anything when he ended things other than nasty words that I still need to hear an apology for) Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Well, it sounds like you would still want to talk to him, but only if he apologized to you for what he said, and I can respect and relate to that. I think you gave your own answer: mail him saying something to the effect of "If you wish to communicate with me, I need you to apologize for what you said, and it needs to be sincere. If not, please do not contact me anymore" Maybe you have to move on from this guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fun2BMe Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 It seems like if I have to ask for an apology, then in all likelihood, just how sincere can it really be? I wish he'd think and feel to do it on his own without being asked to, because it's like if he doesn't then it means I won't be in contact with him so he might do it for that reason rather than for being sorry. ughh i hate him but i don't so it sucks. I don't want him to get the impression that i'm over it just like that just because some time went by. I'll see what i do. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I see it like this- are you going to have any kind of relationship with him again? (friendship counts) If not, and you don't want him to be part of your life, then why bother continuing to reply? It sounds like he is contacting you for selfish reasons, maybe he feels now that its all water under the bridge, so now he can feel less guilt without admitting responsibility? There is a really good phrase to describe that and I can't for the life of me think of it, help me out someone? Link to post Share on other sites
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