budd98 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I have been broken up with for 1 week now with a girl that I had been with for 2.5 years. I believe she has Borderline Personality Disorder by the way I have been treated throughout the relationship. Its been on and off for awhile now and things have been rough. I have always tried to do things to make it better, but she just keeps referring to bad things all the time. The bad things are usually assumptions by her or really small things. Anyways, she broke it off and I went into no contact. My last message to her was "when can I get my stuff." She never told me when just said "I'm sick of you blaming me for the things your doing." I am not doing anything but triing to make her happy ALL the time. So it went about 5-6 days and I finally get a long e-mail from her yesterday at 3AM. She basically told me why I am not fit to be her boyfriend by all the bad I've done. Also saying that she wished I could have loved her for her and that things were different. Most of the e-mail was things just triing to bring me down and make everything look like my fault. I have been so good to this girl in everyway, I just don't understand why she would do this to me. I have not responded to the e-mail and it is driving me crazy if I should or not. Can anyone relate to this situation and what do you think I should do. She must be missing me to write that long of a letter, right? What are my best chances of winning her heart back, if I respond with possitive things or if I don't at all? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Don't write her back anything personal. IGNORE all that she's written to you. Set up a time for her to come by and pick up her stuff - BUT - DO not let her into your house. Meet her outside. She is unbalanced, so no matter what you say or do that is kind, out of respect, or care WILL be ignored/not understood. You cannot reason with someone who has major depression and who has bipolar. Another thing, you really need to make yourself see that IT IS OVER. She isn't the right person for you, she's unhealthy...Yes, you have feelings for her, and this hurts alot, but with that being said, you seem to not 'get' what she's saying...She is being rude and mean to you, so why do you think she's missing you? Sadly, you won't ever win her heart back. I am sorry to say this but you need to see this...She is mentally ill and will be for the rest of her life. Hopefully one day she will get herself on medication and get therapy, but until then, she is not living nor functioning normally...Which means she isn't thinking of you and what's best for you...She isn't capable of giving at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author budd98 Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 I understand she is toxic for me and all that.....but really what helps me get over her is knowing that she cares or wants me back. You may say it is an ego thing, but she hurt me so much that I would like to know that deep down it is tearing her apart. That is why I am curious what her actions might be if I don't respond at all or if I should? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 she cares or wants me back Do some research on depression and bipolar. You have to understand the beast abit more and then you'll have more answers. Depression aside, bipolar aside, I'm sure she does care for you and probably loves you too...BUT, because she isn't getting any help, this disease has taken over and her thinking/feeling isn't normal. If you don't respond to her, she'll be pissed off. Go on rants, make you feel bad, blame you, mistreat you, hurt you...THAT is the depression talking...The unstable part of her, which unfortunately is alot of who she is right now. I know this is hard on you, but for your own peace of mind, and your own well being, you need to heal yourself.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author budd98 Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 I really appreciate your advice. I did purchase the book "Walking on Eggshells" yesterday and have already read most of it. I have learned a lot and they said they are most afraid of abandonment and fear itself. They also said they will do things first in case the other decides to. That confuses me cause I think that might be why she always breaks up. I don't know. So you think if I leave her alone and ignore all contact from her, she will treat me really bad somehow? Maybe I should send her this book when I am done reading it, that would really make her mad! Link to post Share on other sites
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