natch Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Ok so here's the thing, my h2b's sister is really testing my patience to the dizzy limit. 1. She was 'so disappointed' that she is not 1 of my bridesmaids. Which i think is a load of crap. She is honestly just sour coz the spotlight is gonna be on her brother for once and not on her. To prove a point she goes to complain to my friends about how cut up she is. I have always thought that your bridesmaids are close family or close friends. I have been a bridesmaid 3 times before all for people i have a really good relationship with. My H2b did not ask my brother to be 1 of his bestmen, why should i ask his sister to be my bridesmaid? 2. She is a part-time mother. She is 21 and has a 6 month old daughter, the most adorable and pleasant baby in the world! The father of the child is a loser who has 2 kids from his gf who he was cheating on with my future SIL. Anyway, the child sleeps over at her friends houses every weekend, NO exaggeration!!! She is of the opinion tha a child should not get in the way of you having a 'party life!' I get that she is entitled to break loose but EVERY WEEKEND?!? Her child responds more to us than she does to her mother. 3. She continually questions our plans for OUR wedding. We had an 'aggressive' conversation last week because she believes we should invite some people and not others. I tried to 'calmly' tell her that we are the hosts of our wedding and when she is contributing anything financially she is more than welcome to run her mouth off about the guest list. Besides, she can invite the president for all I care to HER OWN wedding. Until then, we will stick to what we want. 4. My H2b accounts all this behaviour to her being spoilt He gets upset with her but never when she is there. like, what is the point??? wth do i do??? HELP PLEASE... Link to post Share on other sites
blowingthetrout Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 don't expect your H2B to deal with her. you might as well take of this now and see how the family responds BEFORE you marry because you will have to either deal with her now, or deal with her later. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 1. She was 'so disappointed' that she is not 1 of my bridesmaids. Which i think is a load of crap. She is honestly just sour coz the spotlight is gonna be on her brother for once and not on her. To prove a point she goes to complain to my friends about how cut up she is. I have always thought that your bridesmaids are close family or close friends. I have been a bridesmaid 3 times before all for people i have a really good relationship with. My H2b did not ask my brother to be 1 of his bestmen, why should i ask his sister to be my bridesmaid? I don't see the problem here unless you both are super-close which you have stated, you aren't. It's up to you who you choose as your bridesmaids. She's not on the list so leave with that! 2. She is a part-time mother. She is 21 and has a 6 month old daughter, the most adorable and pleasant baby in the world! The father of the child is a loser who has 2 kids from his gf who he was cheating on with my future SIL. Anyway, the child sleeps over at her friends houses every weekend, NO exaggeration!!! She is of the opinion tha a child should not get in the way of you having a 'party life!' I get that she is entitled to break loose but EVERY WEEKEND?!? Her child responds more to us than she does to her mother. When you have a child, your life should revolve around your kid. She shouldn't have the kid if she can't let go of her party-life!! Gee whizz.. 3. She continually questions our plans for OUR wedding. We had an 'aggressive' conversation last week because she believes we should invite some people and not others. I tried to 'calmly' tell her that we are the hosts of our wedding and when she is contributing anything financially she is more than welcome to run her mouth off about the guest list. Besides, she can invite the president for all I care to HER OWN wedding. Until then, we will stick to what we want. She has no right to tell you who should and shouldn't be on the invitation list. Come on! It's your wedding, not hers. What IS her problem?? 4. My H2b accounts all this behaviour to her being spoilt He gets upset with her but never when she is there. like, what is the point??? Hmmm... I am spoilt, well not in this way. I do almost always get things my way with my family members, being the youngest and the only girl but I don't tell my brothers who to invite to their weddings! All 3 brothers of mine are married and none did I interfere. I helped out but it wasn't my place to say anything about it esp when I didn't contribute financially. If I was your SIL, my brother would have told me off!!! You should talk to your H2B about this... that it is really making you feel uncomfortable (that is putting it mildly, I would say?). Who knows what else she'd do in the future. Off topic - I see that you're from SA. I just came back from SA. Beautiful country! I was in CT and I fell in love with that place!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 Hi there Thank you for your responses... thought i was going off the deep end in paranoia! Maybe i should just thrash it out with her and get it over with, so she knows exacly where i stand...she has a very dominating personality but when she is 'made aware of the boundries' she tends to back off. Any thoughts??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 3, 2007 Author Share Posted September 3, 2007 I am from SA...Durban, it is on the East coast...nicknamed 'SA's playground' if you loved CPT you will love Dbn even more...the weather is like summer all year round, the people are so friendly and the city is like nothing you have ever seen, not to mention we have some of the most BEAUTIFUL beaches in the world. Your next trip to SA has to be here... Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Hi there Thank you for your responses... thought i was going off the deep end in paranoia! Maybe i should just thrash it out with her and get it over with, so she knows exacly where i stand...she has a very dominating personality but when she is 'made aware of the boundries' she tends to back off. Any thoughts??? If that is the case then you might want to tell her off. You are after all, marrying her brother so she has to face the fact that you will be part of the family and that you have a say in your wedding. Why? Obviously because IT'S YOUR wedding not hers! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I am from SA...Durban, it is on the East coast...nicknamed 'SA's playground' if you loved CPT you will love Dbn even more...the weather is like summer all year round, the people are so friendly and the city is like nothing you have ever seen, not to mention we have some of the most BEAUTIFUL beaches in the world. Your next trip to SA has to be here... Sounds lovely! I would love to visit Durban now! My BF is from CT so when I visit him next, will ask him to take me to Durban!! Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Just a thought... It might be a nice gesture on the part of you and your fiance to each add one more. Making his sister a bridesmaid and your brother a groomsman may be a mature and kind thing to do out of respect for each other and your parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 5, 2007 Author Share Posted September 5, 2007 Thanks for that, we thought of that but we are beginning to realize that more and more of our decisions are based on 'being the mature ones' or 'keeping the peace' I don't want to get to the point where all we did was please everyone else but ourselves for OUR wedding. Am I being selfish??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 5, 2007 Author Share Posted September 5, 2007 Also, she has already made it clear thta she will not be a part of my wedding party even if i begged her. If i ask her now she has threatened to not attend the wedding period. Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 You need to start with setting some very firm boundaries right now with your sil, otherwise this could very well get out of hand. And once those are set, do NOT let her cross them at any cost. Also you need to let your h2b know how much this upsets you. If you don't start setting your boundaries now this will only get worse because she will think she can get away with whatever she wants. It's your wedding and your day, she sounds like she is sort of trying to live the experience through you. Don't give in!!! This is about you and your fiance, not her, not his family or yours. The two of you and only the two of you. Enjoy it and be happy, don't let anyone ruin it. Best of luck and congratulations!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 5, 2007 Author Share Posted September 5, 2007 Heya, glad to know that i am not the only one who thinks this is out of the ordinary. Gonna try my best to be diplomatic but effective Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Just don't let her ruin your happiness. Hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natch Posted September 6, 2007 Author Share Posted September 6, 2007 Thank a lot sweetie! Appreciate it... Link to post Share on other sites
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