How can I get her back?

[Bill]

I need help! I met this wonderful girl in May. i am out of college and looking for a good job. She graduates in May 2000. She lives about 1 hour and 45 minutes away. I met her online.

 

First off, this is the most wonderful woman i have ever met. She is kind, beautiful, caring, loving, etc etc etc. We have a lot of the same interests, we could spend all day just laying in bed and be entertained.

 

Our relationship lasted 5 months, i was truly in love, she acted like she was in love too. In fact she acted like it hurt her badly to be away from me. We only got to see each other on the weekends, sometimes only for 1 day. but the time we spent together was magical.

 

She broke up with me in October. She said she loved me but wasnt in love with me. 3 weeks before that she drove 3and a half hours here and back to see me. 2 weeks before that she asked me to move to her college and we could move into the dorms for married couples(this would mean we would have to be married!) she even had the forms.

 

We had had some fights before this. I wanted to see her all i could, and i pressured her to come home a lot, which was a really stupid thing to do. She had a lot of pressure from her family, they are very tight knit, and very possessive, they all live in a small area. her mom went half blind when my ex was 10, and she had to take care of her. she can see very well now, just cant drive, her mom still makes her do a lot of the work around the house, while she lays in the pool all day. she was also very controlled in the way they made her go to church every sunday, though she doesnt believe in it

 

Her friends were also very jealous, they treated me bad. they were all single. when she is home, we are 1 hour and 45 minutes apart, when she is at school we are 3 and a half hours apart. the distance thing is very hard, but I was willing to stick it out i guess she wasnt

 

I love this girl with all my heart, i have dated ohters, but no one compared to her. I want her back so bad, she graduates in May, she will be free from responsibilities then,

 

My friends have tried to talk to her, she says she will never get back with me. She was always very insecure, allways needed me to kiss and tell her i loved her. she could never have enough contact. her ex treated her bad and dumped her by dropping her off at her dorm and never calling her again and moving away. she admited she was afraid I would do that to her

 

Please I want her back so bad, and I would do anything to be with her, can someone help me?

[Kate]

I'm really sorry you're hurting Bill. It's very painful when our beloved breaks up with us. But if I may say, you are engaging in the, "It was her friends...they were jealous; She has too many family pressures..." etc, personal mind torture that so many of us do to ourselves, when we struggle to understand our partners reasons for ending the relationship. If we, dare I say, convince ourselves that the real reasons they broke up with us had nothing to do with our involvement with them, we then also try and convince ourselves that we might be able to get back together with them. More importantly, we might then be able to help them understand what is "really" going on in their lives and they'll hopefully see the "error" of their ways and come back to us. Like I said Bill, many of us have put ourselves through this mental torture and analyse the relationship over and over again, hoping that things will eventually return to the way they were. I'm only surmising here of course, but I'd say that it is over... for her anyway. She has already told your friends this. I really don't think it has anything to do with what else is going on in her life. I'm not saying that outside pressures don't occasionally infringe on our romantic lives... but in this case, I really don't think that is happening. I believe you would be better off completely letting go of this now. I'd say she has pretty much made up her mind on this. But, remember Bill, that even though you may not realise it at first, DON'T think it has anything to do with how valuable or attractive a man you are. Because you would be... BOTH of these things. There are just some relationships, as painful as it is to acknowledge sometimes, that just aren't meant to last the rest of our lives. In time, you WILL feel better about this. And in time, you WILL meet and mutually fall in love with a woman who will think you are, in Tina Turner's words, "Simply the Best". Be strong, be positive, and take care, Kate.

I need help! I met this wonderful girl in May. i am out of college and looking for a good job. She graduates in May 2000. She lives about 1 hour and 45 minutes away. I met her online.

 

First off, this is the most wonderful woman i have ever met. She is kind, beautiful, caring, loving, etc etc etc. We have a lot of the same interests, we could spend all day just laying in bed and be entertained. Our relationship lasted 5 months, i was truly in love, she acted like she was in love too. In fact she acted like it hurt her badly to be away from me. We only got to see each other on the weekends, sometimes only for 1 day. but the time we spent together was magical. She broke up with me in October. She said she loved me but wasnt in love with me. 3 weeks before that she drove 3and a half hours here and back to see me. 2 weeks before that she asked me to move to her college and we could move into the dorms for married couples(this would mean we would have to be married!) she even had the forms. We had had some fights before this. I wanted to see her all i could, and i pressured her to come home a lot, which was a really stupid thing to do. She had a lot of pressure from her family, they are very tight knit, and very possessive, they all live in a small area. her mom went half blind when my ex was 10, and she had to take care of her. she can see very well now, just cant drive, her mom still makes her do a lot of the work around the house, while she lays in the pool all day. she was also very controlled in the way they made her go to church every sunday, though she doesnt believe in it Her friends were also very jealous, they treated me bad. they were all single. when she is home, we are 1 hour and 45 minutes apart, when she is at school we are 3 and a half hours apart. the distance thing is very hard, but I was willing to stick it out i guess she wasnt I love this girl with all my heart, i have dated ohters, but no one compared to her. I want her back so bad, she graduates in May, she will be free from responsibilities then, My friends have tried to talk to her, she says she will never get back with me. She was always very insecure, allways needed me to kiss and tell her i loved her. she could never have enough contact. her ex treated her bad and dumped her by dropping her off at her dorm and never calling her again and moving away. she admited she was afraid I would do that to her Please I want her back so bad, and I would do anything to be with her, can someone help me?

[Stressful Situation]

I definitely can relate with what you are going through. However, I also do not think it has anything to do with you so don't beat yourself up over it. I believe and would chalk it up to her having a wall up due to no closure from her past relationship and fear of someone else doing the same thing. She has issues she hasn't overcome or dealt with and seems to be seeking other things in her life to use as an excuse. She simply isn't ready for a serious relationship yet. It has nothing to do with you. I know how painful this is but I hope this will bring you some peace of mind. I truely believe this to be the case because I have had similar situations. You need to have your closure

 

and I analyze as well until you realize the truth was so obvious and you were looking too deep. Good luck. Concentrate on you.

I need help! I met this wonderful girl in May. i am out of college and looking for a good job. She graduates in May 2000. She lives about 1 hour and 45 minutes away. I met her online.

 

First off, this is the most wonderful woman i have ever met. She is kind, beautiful, caring, loving, etc etc etc. We have a lot of the same interests, we could spend all day just laying in bed and be entertained. Our relationship lasted 5 months, i was truly in love, she acted like she was in love too. In fact she acted like it hurt her badly to be away from me. We only got to see each other on the weekends, sometimes only for 1 day. but the time we spent together was magical. She broke up with me in October. She said she loved me but wasnt in love with me. 3 weeks before that she drove 3and a half hours here and back to see me. 2 weeks before that she asked me to move to her college and we could move into the dorms for married couples(this would mean we would have to be married!) she even had the forms. We had had some fights before this. I wanted to see her all i could, and i pressured her to come home a lot, which was a really stupid thing to do. She had a lot of pressure from her family, they are very tight knit, and very possessive, they all live in a small area. her mom went half blind when my ex was 10, and she had to take care of her. she can see very well now, just cant drive, her mom still makes her do a lot of the work around the house, while she lays in the pool all day. she was also very controlled in the way they made her go to church every sunday, though she doesnt believe in it Her friends were also very jealous, they treated me bad. they were all single. when she is home, we are 1 hour and 45 minutes apart, when she is at school we are 3 and a half hours apart. the distance thing is very hard, but I was willing to stick it out i guess she wasnt I love this girl with all my heart, i have dated ohters, but no one compared to her. I want her back so bad, she graduates in May, she will be free from responsibilities then, My friends have tried to talk to her, she says she will never get back with me. She was always very insecure, allways needed me to kiss and tell her i loved her. she could never have enough contact. her ex treated her bad and dumped her by dropping her off at her dorm and never calling her again and moving away. she admited she was afraid I would do that to her Please I want her back so bad, and I would do anything to be with her, can someone help me?