I need help. PLEASE! This is a long one.

[ASDFJKL]

I've always thought that eighth grade relationships were pretty stupid. Why do they matter when you're only 13 years old? But, I do have to admit that I have a boyfriend...and I need some good advice. I know I won't care about this relationship in five years, but I do care about it now...and just because I'm young doesn't mean my problems and concerns don't matter. Right?

 

Well, I have never been really experienced with having a boyfriend. This certain one at school caught my eye, and I really liked him. On a trip to DisneyLand I figured out he liked me as well, and we kissed and cuddled in the back of the bus (No, it was not X-rated). After this, I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was moving to another school. We talked every day and realized we had to see each other over the weekend. So we did. Then we talked more, and then he decided to transfer back to the old school. He told me that he did it for me...I'm not sure, but he told me. Then we started "going out" or whatever you want to call it. It's weird...right when he came back to my school I didn't have the same feelings for him. They were a little different. Before I would think about him all the time, and it's not like that anymore for some reason. Anyway, so now we're going out and for some reason he's saying that I'm not being me. He has been saying that for quite a while now and I don't understand. I don't want to bug him about it because I don't think he likes talking about it. He says it's not affecting me and him in any way so it doesn't matter. But, anyway, what I am really concerned about is making sure our relationship doesn't get very boring and old. I want to keep things exciting, so what can I do? Should I avoid talking to him on the phone every night? My best friend says that if we really like each other, then we won't be bored. Is that even true?

 

So, that was really disorganized and jumpy, but I had to get things out...to make things more simple, my questions are:

 

Why is he telling me I'm not being me? If he thinks I haven't been "me" this whole time, then doesn't that mean that that's how I really am?

 

Should I believe him when he said he just moved back to this school for me? It doesn't seem that he likes me THAT much.

 

What can I do to keep things from getting bored and routine-y?

 

ALSO! Apparently he was a little more touchy with his last girlfriend. I guess he would give her a kiss every morning and everything. But it's not like that with me. We don't even hold hands! (LOL, that sounds really eighth grade) WHY IS THIS? Am I sending out "get away" signals even if I am the first one to kiss him usually?!

 

Thanks...for helping me out with my stupid eighth grade drama problems.

[Kat]

Why not hold his hand? Why not kiss him on the cheek when you go off to class??

 

Why aren't you guys being "coupley"? You are aware that you are one half of this couple and you are responsible for the 'affection' not just him?

[witchbreed]

You are both very young and therefore still "finding" your own personality. My oldest daughter is your age and by seeing her and remembering my own teenage years, puberty is changing you very fast and most people are pretty moody then. So it might be, that you have changed in the time he was away and thats why he is saying that you are not yourself anymore. You sure are, but maybe that self changed a bit.

 

Why you feel different, now that you have him around, could be the following too: in your age, sometimes the fantasy about a steady boyfriend is actually more alluding then having one. You are in complete control of the relationsship in fantasy, of his and your own reactions, but in real life you are not in control about his behaviour and reactions.

 

Then it can be, that you both are not really in love with each other but in love with the idea of having a bf/gf.

 

One thing not to get bored and that counts for relationsships of all ages: do things together you both like but give each other space for other hobbies and friends. Do things on your own too.

 

Good luck.