Kam the clueless dork

[Kamille]

Now that Tanbark had solved my epillatory quandaries, I've suddenly been hit by how bad of a flirt I am.

 

Yesterday I was at a chain book store, and, being my usual bumbling self (I talk a lot to most salestaff, guy, girl young or old it doesn't matter), I ended up chatting with the really cute sales clerk about who knows what and he brought up the topic that he was brand new to my city and didn't know where anything was....

 

......

 

And I was like, oh really, where are you from?

 

He told me what he was doing in my city, and then repeated so that explains why I don't know where anything is.

 

I think I said something about: oh I like [his city].

 

Whack me now.

 

Jeeebus! That was as clear an opening as I could get to tell him about my favorite hang outs and upcoming local events I plan to attend!!!!!! Aaarrghhgghghg.

 

Lesson: I need to learn to be more assertive about these things.

 

I think part of the problem is that I only recently realized that a lot of guys show me some interests and I always feel a bit unsettled -and actually insecure- when I start to think that maybe a man is flirting with me.

[Trialbyfire]

Kam, Kam, Kam, don't be so hard on yourself. I don't see anything wrong with your response. If his comments were intended as bait, he should also be creative enough to leave another opening or take a more assertive role. It takes two to tango.

 

Go back in about a week and don't forget to smile at him. If he approaches you again, add the truth. You felt bad for not helping him by suggesting places for him to check out, so...here are a few suggestions of places you really enjoy.

[Kamille]

Kam, Kam, Kam, don't be so hard on yourself. I don't see anything wrong with your response. If his comments were intended as bait, he should also be creative enough to leave another opening or take a more assertive role. It takes two to tango.

 

Go back in about a week and don't forget to smile at him. If he approaches you again, add the truth. You felt bad for not helping him by suggesting places for him to check out, so...here are a few suggestions of places you really enjoy.

 

Thanks Trial. I am so clueless that when I left the bookstore I was wondering why he was so insistant on telling me he didn't know anything about my town. Then got distracted by the question of body hair as I walked into Yves Rocher to buy myself some waxing strips. It is true that he also could have been more assertive but he also had kind of a confused look in his eyes everytime I kept changing the subject off of him not knowing the city.

 

It would have been the perfect opening for : "While you're here, you should check out Kam's Favorite pub...".

 

I don't usually follow up on these things. Should I? He was very cute. And he sells books. I love books.

[Kamille]

What am I saying. OF COURSE I should follow up. I'm really lazy when it comes to flirting. I expect the guys to do all the work.

 

Anyone's got a good book to recommand?

[tanbark813]

Anyone's got a good book to recommand?

 

This will help pique his interest:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Blow-Him-Away-Give-Mind-Blowing/dp/0767916565/ref=sr_1_5/105-3074683-6198058?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188406226&sr=1-5

 

 

[Kamille]

This will help pique his interest:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Blow-Him-Away-Give-Mind-Blowing/dp/0767916565/ref=sr_1_5/105-3074683-6198058?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188406226&sr=1-5

 

 

 

His interest would be piqued and I would steal a peek to see if his pants are peaking.

 

You guys won't believe this but an association I volunteer for just asked me if I could go help them with a function they are having tonight at that very bookstore!!!! I think they were suprised at how enthusiastic I was about going. I'll let you know if I run into this guy again.

[JCD]

LOL! I can just see you Kam practically throwing yourself at them for choosing you. My type of flirting is more upfront or obvious. I poke fun at the other person hoping they would pick up on my clues and poke fun at me. Then I would continue with somewhat serious discussion with more of these jabs in between followed by laughter. I'm a type of a person that doesn't take myself seriously and I'm looking for the other person to be the same. When they are this fun poking is really fun. They have to have good sense of humor for this to work. If they do, it really motivates me to find out more about them. There have been times when the other person was quicker on their feet than me and caught me off guard. That happens but it's good because they're more fun than I thought. I always come away with a smile on my face when I think how ridiculous we were and how far we've taken this flirting. There have been times when the other person doesn't understand my flirting and that's awkward. I have to follow that with "I was kidding" to get them to laugh. I then know this one is not for me. So it's important for me that the other person has the same sense of humor. I never use one liners and just go by the seat of my pants. So Kam, you have to know yourself and figure out how far you push this flirting. Some girls have used sex jokes to break the ice, etc. For example, we were talking about me able to drive a stick shift and she responded that she can ride a stick Needless to say, our flirting was heavy on sex.

 

Then again, your style of flirting can be more discreet if you find someone that is not a good flirter or is shy, etc. For example, you mentioned that he's new in town and doesn't know places. Ask him if they have a book section on places and tell him to take you there so you can show him books about your city. That will allow you to make further conversations about your city and favorite places you like to go to. If he hangs around you while you're showing him things and comes back with the other 50% of conversation then he's interested. Otherwise he would excuse himself. You can then talk about music and movies, etc. and he might show you some books about these topics, etc. Ask him if they have books about jokes and you can read jokes to each other, etc. There is a whole bunch of fun stuff you can talk about in a book store.