LittleWingedOne Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 I've been dating this amazing man for over a year. I'm in NY and he's in New Orleans. We decided to live together this summer in Nashville and it was the most incredible 3 months of my life. The last day he proposed and I said yes. Now, we're back to the LD thing until next June when we can finally move in together for good. The thing is, between seeing him (for a few days every month) I get these sickening feelings once in awhile. Like when he doesn't pick up the phone when we are supposed to talk.Weird jealousy ::while I was typing this he called to apologize for not picking up the phone last night:: We both cheated on each other once last year, and came clean about it. I do trust him, but can't help these stupid feelings that come once in awhile. I don't have these feelings when we're together. Not once did I ever get jealous or worried when we lived together... Its just when he's far away. The texts and the calls are ok, and I know we'll be together for good in less than a year, but I just need to know that other people in LDRs get these feelings too. The only thing that I might be crazy for feeling is... well, whenever I see pictures of New Orleans or hear something about Katrina I get sick because of how much I want to be there with him. But yea, can anyone here relate to these feelings at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Beauty28 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Your not alone. When I dont talk to my guy in Miami, I sometimes get these thoughts in my head too. But you musn't let it destroy your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleWingedOne Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 Oh I know. Its ok now because they only come once in awhile. Im scared that I might get too jealous to continue this, but then I remember I did the LD thing for a year and we're still going strong. It just gets scary sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 might help to look at the periods of being apart as a means of fortifying your relationship – that because you survived time and distance separation before, you can survive it if you're faced with the situation again. when I met the man I eventually married, it was in the town where I was going to college. He was from Florida, working as an civil service aviation mechanic. Meaning he only stayed in one spot for a month or so at a time. The summer I graduated from college, we got to be together, but his contract took him back to Florida, so we had from April to early September. After that, it was a phone call and letter relationship (remember this was the early 90s, and we didn't have access to the internet or IM). And for the most part, it was a one-sided effort – mine. he decided to go work for the Saudi government for two years, that was just before the first Gulf War broke out, so there was a good chance I wasn't going to see him again with all the danger that included. Fortunately, we did get together about every six months for a couple of days. The last time we saw each other, he told me that he renewed his contract for another 18 months, but he still wanted to marry me. So we eloped and I went back to Texas, he went back to Saudi. I didn't see him again for six months, then just before our first wedding anniversary. By this time he quit his job so we could be together, but that didn't last long – his wanderlust got the better of him and he started going after jobs that took him far from home. But it was the fact that a good part of our relationship was built on trust and perseverance from being separated for long periods of time that our marriage could survive the time-distance apart thing. LOL, I've often said it was harder living with him than it was being apart, because it was a whole other world! bottom line is, you've got a choice: You can use this experience as a way to build up your relationship, knowing that because you can weather this, you can weather anything. Or you can mope about it and make yourself miserable. Or you can just give the guy up. Period. If you choose him, then do your best to make the most of the situation even though you miss him like mad; keep reminding yourself it's not forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Beauty28 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Also trust is a BIG thing. If you can't find it in yourself to trust him, then you have to let him go because it's just going to come back again and again. Could it be that you guys both cheated on eachother that makes you unsure??? Because that breaks trust. Anyhow, if it makes you feel any better sometimes I wonder if the guy I am seeing has caught some hottie on the beach in Miami! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleWingedOne Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 bottom line is, you've got a choice: You can use this experience as a way to build up your relationship, knowing that because you can weather this, you can weather anything. Or you can mope about it and make yourself miserable. Or you can just give the guy up. Period. If you choose him, then do your best to make the most of the situation even though you miss him like mad; keep reminding yourself it's not forever. Oh, I choose him. No question. I'd rather deal with the moments of sadness then never have those moments of pure joy when I'm with him. I know its not forever. He's flying up to see me on the 10th for my birthday. So soon Oh, and Beauty.. I know what you mean about being worried. I do trust him though, 100%. I think that no matter how much you trust someone, when you're separated for long periods of time those weird feelings come. Its just a part of the LD package I think.. heh Link to post Share on other sites
Beauty28 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Well that's good you trust him. I totally agree with you though on the distance thing being a big factor in getting worried. But I'm sure you guys will pull through. I think if he's "the one" and you guys are right for eachother then it will all work out. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 He's flying up to see me on the 10th for my birthday. damn, I need to get my eyes checked ... I read this as "He's flying up to see me for my 10th birthday"!!! :lmao: yeah, the weird feelings do come, but do your best to keep them at bay. He sounds like he's committed to this relationship, and that's a VERY positive thing – especially if he's making the effort to spend your (10th) birthday together Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleWingedOne Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 haha, I know kids are growing up fast these days, but thats FAST:laugh: Yea, we are both commited to seeing each other as much as possible. Every other month I fly to New Orleans, the other months he comes to see me. Its good, and I'm glad other people get those weird feelings too. You guys made me feel a lot better.. thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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