Feeling guilty about BJ in Vegas

[emery3000]

Hi everybody. I just found this forum and figured it would be a good place to get opinions and advice. I'm a sexually frustrated male virgin in my mid-20s. I would love to find a nice, compassionate, beautiful (inside and out) girl but I've been derailed from this quest by my own frustration. I recently went to Vegas on vacation. While there I went to a strip club and received a lap dance from a stripper. She then told me that she would do "more" for more money. So I paid for her to give me a blow job. At the time it seemed like the best idea, no downside (besides spending more money) and I would get a BJ from a hot stripper. I've never had a BJ either. But now I feel guilty, like I'm scum now, like I don't deserve a sweet girl who likes me because I did this. I've talked to some of my other friends who think this was harmless but I can't shake the guilty, shameful feeling. I just keep thinking about it, saying to myself "what if a girl I like knew about this? Would she think I was a perverted jerk who disrespects women?" Am I overly guilty over this? I mean I probably could've had sex with her if I had paid her enough to come back to my hotel but I didn't want to lose my virginity by paying a stripper/prostitute. Is a BJ just as bad? My guilt is really nagging me. I feel like I disrespected all women and I am very respectful of women.

[directx]

Yeah, you are overly guilty. You are not hitched. Heck, you don't even have a GF.

 

Man, I never even got an offer from a stripper, let alone a hint.

 

The most I used to get was them checking their watch to when their shift ended.

 

Life sucks.

 

(PS: Did you use a condom?)

[emery3000]

Yeah, you are overly guilty. You are not hitched. Heck, you don't even have a GF.

 

Man, I never even got an offer from a stripper, let alone a hint.

 

The most I used to get was them checking their watch to when their shift ended.

 

Life sucks.

 

(PS: Did you use a condom?)

 

Yeah she put a condom on. I think they do that kind of thing a lot because she had a condom on her. It is Vegas. If you want to score with a stripper go to Vegas, Everywhere else is a waste of money. Prostitution is legal in Nevada but not in Vegas. They bend the rules all the time in Vegas though I just feel guilty from it. You're probably right, I am overly guilty, just my nature.

[directx]

Yeah, don't beat yourself up.

I wouldn't make a habit of it though.

 

You should really try to find a GF.

 

You know, if you do the vegas BJ thing enough, it probalby wont be that big of a deal.

[Lishy]

Its ok getting a BJ in Vegas.

 

Never get one in New York!

[Lizzie60]

you know what they say:

 

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..

 

Don't sweat it.. come on ... you enjoyed it... so... it's your own little dirty secret... no big deal..

 

I won't tell your gf... I can keep secrets... LOL

[Enema]

Yeah no big deal.

 

How much did you pay?

[beautifulearth83]

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure you're still that good guy that is respectful of women and on his way to a really nice girl. You may look back at this one day and laugh or see it as a fun memory.

 

You tried something that helped reinforce your values and morals. Maybe that's why it happened. And it's true, I suppose if you're going to partake in something like that anywhere, it's Vegas.

[Lizzie60]

Yeah no big deal.

 

How much did you pay?

 

....how much?

[Lishy]

Was it good?

 

Isnt a BJ with a condom on, like eating a packet of crisps without opening em?

[wwjd]

Hi everybody. I just found this forum and figured it would be a good place to get opinions and advice. I'm a sexually frustrated male virgin in my mid-20s. I would love to find a nice, compassionate, beautiful (inside and out) girl but I've been derailed from this quest by my own frustration. I recently went to Vegas on vacation. While there I went to a strip club and received a lap dance from a stripper. She then told me that she would do "more" for more money. So I paid for her to give me a blow job. At the time it seemed like the best idea, no downside (besides spending more money) and I would get a BJ from a hot stripper. I've never had a BJ either. But now I feel guilty, like I'm scum now, like I don't deserve a sweet girl who likes me because I did this. I've talked to some of my other friends who think this was harmless but I can't shake the guilty, shameful feeling. I just keep thinking about it, saying to myself "what if a girl I like knew about this? Would she think I was a perverted jerk who disrespects women?" Am I overly guilty over this? I mean I probably could've had sex with her if I had paid her enough to come back to my hotel but I didn't want to lose my virginity by paying a stripper/prostitute. Is a BJ just as bad? My guilt is really nagging me. I feel like I disrespected all women and I am very respectful of women.

 

pardon me if this is inappropriate, but this post made me smile. you sound like a really sweet guy, based on the words you used in your OP.

 

it's good that you didn't sleep with the stripper because i don't think that is a good "first time." i think you should wait until you find someone special, ideally, or at least someone you are going to be comfortable being intimate with--and i think a stripper doesn't satisfy either of this scenarios.

 

i chalk up what you did to your sexual frustration. perhaps you got so worked up and were so eager for release that, at the time, a BJ from the willing stripper didn't sound so bad. i also think that the guilt you are currently experiencing is due to your nature being exactly the opposite of a "sleaze ball."

 

all in all, don't worry about it. what happened, happened. just try to not do it again if it's going to make you feel this uncomfortable.

[climbergirl]

Was it good?

 

Isnt a BJ with a condom on, like eating a packet of crisps without opening em?

 

(above quote-LMAO!)

 

OP-Aw, come on. So you got some head while in Vegas. As I see it, you weren't seeing anyone so you and your vegas girl both benefited and no one got hurt in the process.

 

You're still a sweet guy, so relax and enjoy the memory.

[Star Gazer]

Prostitution is legal in Nevada but not in Vegas.

 

Not really true. Prostitution outside licensed brothels is a misdemeanor in Nevada. Brothels are illegal under county or municipal law in Carson City (which encompasses the entire county), Washoe County (which contains Reno), Clark County (which contains Las Vegas), Douglas County, and Lincoln County.

 

In other words, you pretty much have to run off to the boondocks of the desert to find a legal prostitute. Fun.

 

 

 

As for your situation, OP, I'd just keep quiet about it. You sound remorseful, but honestly, a lot of women wouldn't be too thrilled to know about this.

[Lizzie60]

Was it good?

 

Isnt a BJ with a condom on, like eating a packet of crisps without opening em?

 

The only time I will give a BJ with a condom is if it's flavoured and well lubricated... other than that it taste awful... and burns the lips... ewwww

[Green]

Dude I would just stop thinking about it and not tell any girls your into about this. Obviously I wouldn't do this again if its made you feel dirty but you should forgive yourself. The reason you probably a virgin and in your mid 20's and wanting to lose your virginity and having trouble is the fact that you respect women to much. Take the p*ssy off the pedestal, woman are people just like men who have flaws and blah blahblah. First off ask alot of girls out, you'll acomplish this by flirting with as manny girls you come across that you find attractive that means girls who help you in stores, the girls you see in stores, women at parties you go to, girls at the book store and library. Now this is very important be yourself, dont turn yourself into this castrated fluff of a man who acts like he just wants to be friends with the girl and go chatty cathy with her... So when I say be yourself I mean call her on something stupid she says, try to kiss her if you feel any opening at all, and in your case if you want a bj or sex try to get it. look if you ask a girl up to your place and she says yes or she invites you back into her place u win lose that virginity and clean those pipes u r your own worst enemy.

[Capricciosa]

you know what they say:

 

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..

 

 

I was going to say the exact same thing. Give yourself a break. You are judging yourself very harshly. Maybe you come from a place where sexual expression and desire is seen as bad, but really, what happened can be left between you and the stripper.

 

And all of us, of course, but really, we won't tell.

[tanbark813]

Not really true. Prostitution outside licensed brothels is a misdemeanor in Nevada. Brothels are illegal under county or municipal law in Carson City (which encompasses the entire county), Washoe County (which contains Reno), Clark County (which contains Las Vegas), Douglas County, and Lincoln County.

 

In other words, you pretty much have to run off to the boondocks of the desert to find a legal prostitute. Fun.

 

There are brothels just outside Carson City right off 50. I pass by them everytime I visit my mom.

[emery3000]

Take the p*ssy off the pedestal

 

"You're makin' the p*ssy look like this great big greek goddess named pussalia and what you're doin' is that you're psychin' yourself into to thinkin' that it's some impossible feat."

 

I think I should watch 40-year-old virgin again:D

[Green]

"You're makin' the p*ssy look like this great big greek goddess named pussalia and what you're doin' is that you're psychin' yourself into to thinkin' that it's some impossible feat."

 

I think I should watch 40-year-old virgin again:D

 

yes you should watch 40-year-old virgin again and knocked up & superbad. P.S. your still a good guy now go out there and get a women who you dont have to pay for sex from

[mental_traveller]

As for your situation, OP, I'd just keep quiet about it. You sound remorseful, but honestly, a lot of women wouldn't be too thrilled to know about this.

 

On the other hand, being open about it is a good way to screen out prudes and scolds. Better to date less repressed women IMO.

[lindya]

On the other hand, being open about it is a good way to screen out prudes and scolds. Better to date less repressed women IMO.

 

Being open about it is fine, provided he's cool with the girl responding "that's great, because it makes me feel better about the time I went on holiday with the girls and paid a gigolo £10 to lick me out."

 

If he's not okay with that response, then dismissing a woman who's not thrilled to hear about BJs from Vegas prostitutes as a prude or a scold would be the worst kind of hypocrisy.

 

Reading the OP's post he doesn't sound like the kind of guy who'd want to be with the "gigolo licked me out for a tenner" girl. So he might want to keep a low profile about the Vegas prostitute blowing him.

[johan]

...now go out there and get a women who you dont have to pay for sex from

 

...at least not explicitly.

[Fun2BMe]

I think we learn who we are through our experiences. You could've had the opposite response where you didn't feel guilty and you'd be posting here saying you wanted to go to vegas every weekend to be with strippers.

 

Now that you tried it once and feel dirty about it, you know to stay away from it in the future. Better you experimented now than behind a future gf's back. Try to learn from the experience instead of beeting yourself up about it.

[shoesies05]

Dude,

you were horny and did something that probably wasn't the best idea. But you're sweating it way too much.

 

Im 19 and wouldnt care if a guy got a bj from a stirpper just as long as he is clean.

 

But you sound like a super sweet guy, and deffinetly wait for someone you care about on a deeper level to de-flower you. It'll make it a lot more special.

 

But just dont do anything like that ever again- its not healthy or safe for you. and dont worry about degrading the girl, she offered and was just using you to make money and decided to degrade herself by working as a stripper. and im a girl and ive been to a strip club before- and i dont think i was degrading women.

 

Just forget the whole incident ever happened. {and get checked if u havent yet, even tho u wore a condom u still could've got something... just to be safe!}

<3 take it easy

[DutchGuy]

I think you feel funny about having to pay for (one of) your first sexual experience(s). The fact that you didn't sleep with her also points to that direction. I understand how you can feel guilty after this, people should't engage in payed sex before even having had 'free' sex.

But it's behind you now, what are you going to do?

 

And for the guilt...

My mom told me when I was about 12:

It's better for a man to go the prostitutes than to rape some poor girl in the bushes.

 

But maybe that just Dutch upbringing.