Feeling guilty about BJ in Vegas

[Mustang Sally]

It's better for a man to go the prostitutes than to rape some poor girl in the bushes.

 

But maybe that just Dutch upbringing.

Hmmmm....

<rubs chin thoughtfully>

 

I find that to be both disturbing and oddly comforting at the same time.....

 

[woodsfield]

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..

my thoughts exactly.

 

don't bother get worked up over someone else finding out about it.

 

i'm just glad you had a chance to bust one....LOOK! NO HANDS!

[SoHotZanzibar]

 

And for the guilt...

My mom told me when I was about 12:

It's better for a man to go the prostitutes than to rape some poor girl in the bushes.

 

But maybe that just Dutch upbringing.

 

Well, your mom and many others like her are mistaken.

The rape you are describing is hardly ever about sex. (and I would actually say NEVER, but there always seems to be an exception)

 

Do your research. You will find that I am right. I won't bore anyone with medical terms, but rape is not about sexual gratification.

 

In fact, you are just giving rapists an excuse when prostitution is illegal. And I don't buy that excuse for a minute. There is NEVER an excuse for rape.

You are a defense attorney's dream!

Unbelievable the people that agree with this without thinking.

 

And I assume there is no rape in Vegas? Doubt it.

[DutchGuy]

Well, your mom and many others like her are mistaken.

The rape you are describing is hardly ever about sex. (and I would actually say NEVER, but there always seems to be an exception)

 

Do your research. You will find that I am right. I won't bore anyone with medical terms, but rape is not about sexual gratification.

 

In fact, you are just giving rapists an excuse when prostitution is illegal. And I don't buy that excuse for a minute. There is NEVER an excuse for rape.

You are a defense attorney's dream!

Unbelievable the people that agree with this without thinking.

 

And I assume there is no rape in Vegas? Doubt it.

 

Where did you hear me say that legalizing prostitution prevents rape?

But even so, no judge will ever have understanding for a rapists motives, so please don't act like I'm setting back the legal system here.

 

Of these motives of rapists I've found, a substantial number could also be satisfied by (certain) prostitutes:

1. have emotional need to feel and act powerful/dominant during sex.
   
2. crave sadistic sex.
   
3. crave attention
   
4. feel unloved
   
5. take revenge against a husband or wife by raping a son or daughter
   
6. are pedophiles.
   
7. are flooded with hormones, and are overwhelmed with sexual desire. These rapists are typically teenagers who engage in acquaintance rape or date rape.
   
8. are sociopaths which find a "crime of opportunity," meaning a victim in a situation where chances of getting caught are slim, and/or the consequences slight.
   
9. are attempting to resolve inner conflicts with female or male archetypes
   
10. themselves were raped or sexually abused.
    
11. feel sexually inadequate.

And I don't know if you know the phenomenon of sex therapists that engage in sex with their clients (a fine line between being a prostitute and being a therapist), but those could help for some of the other motives too.

 

Saying that rape is not about sexual gratification is just as unaccurate as saying it is.

[SoHotZanzibar]

Where did you hear me say that legalizing prostitution prevents rape?

But even so, no judge will ever have understanding for a rapists motives, so please don't act like I'm setting back the legal system here.

 

Of these motives of rapists I've found, a substantial number could also be satisfied by (certain) prostitutes:

1. have emotional need to feel and act powerful/dominant during sex.
   
2. crave sadistic sex.
   
3. crave attention
   
4. feel unloved
   
5. take revenge against a husband or wife by raping a son or daughter
   
6. are pedophiles.
   
7. are flooded with hormones, and are overwhelmed with sexual desire. These rapists are typically teenagers who engage in acquaintance rape or date rape.
   
8. are sociopaths which find a "crime of opportunity," meaning a victim in a situation where chances of getting caught are slim, and/or the consequences slight.
   
9. are attempting to resolve inner conflicts with female or male archetypes
   
10. themselves were raped or sexually abused.
    
11. feel sexually inadequate.

And I don't know if you know the phenomenon of sex therapists that engage in sex with their clients (a fine line between being a prostitute and being a therapist), but those could help for some of the other motives too.

 

Saying that rape is not about sexual gratification is just as unaccurate as saying it is.

 

Wow! If you back peddle any faster you can go back in time and fix your ignorant post from the start.

 

We are so happy you can search the internet and regurgitate information you find.

 

But unless you are a professional, spare us your amateur hour analysis until you know you what you are talking about.

[Green]

no what would be really horible getting raped by a prostitue, theyd try to charge u after ward

[rooseveltjezebel]

pardon me if this is inappropriate, but this post made me smile. you sound like a really sweet guy, based on the words you used in your OP.

 

i also think that the guilt you are currently experiencing is due to your nature being exactly the opposite of a "sleaze ball."

 

all in all, don't worry about it. what happened, happened. just try to not do it again if it's going to make you feel this uncomfortable.

 

My thoughts exactly. It sounds like you are a really sweet, respectful guy.

[DutchGuy]

Wow! If you back peddle any faster you can go back in time and fix your ignorant post from the start.

 

We are so happy you can search the internet and regurgitate information you find.

 

But unless you are a professional, spare us your amateur hour analysis until you know you what you are talking about.

 

I know some guys in their late 20's early 30's that never had unpaid sex, they only have sex with prostitutes.

I'm just saying, who knows what those kind of men would do without being able to go to the prostitutes.

Maybe they're only a small portion of the potential rapists out there, but nevertheless.

 

Meanwhile you make all these accusations towards me, but you don't present any evidence yourself.

I never said that I knew all about the subject, but at least I'm trying to prove my point here.

[Mustang Sally]

Wow! If you back peddle any faster you can go back in time and fix your ignorant post from the start.

 

We are so happy you can search the internet and regurgitate information you find.

 

But unless you are a professional, spare us your amateur hour analysis until you know you what you are talking about.

Holy-self-righteous-internet-analysts, Batman!

 

Geez, SoHot. You've jumped on my ass in the past, so I'll go to bat for all the DutchGuys out there.

It's a freaking INTERNET FORUM for criminey's sake! All sorts of non-professional people can give their amateur opinions whenever they want.

 

Want to crack open your DSM and review 'delusions of grandeur?'

 

OP - I hope you can make some personal peace with your predicament. I agree with other women who advise to not make this a big discussion point with future GFs until sure they are ready to hear about it.

[SoHotZanzibar]

I know some guys in their late 20's early 30's that never had unpaid sex, they only have sex with prostitutes.

I'm just saying, who knows what those kind of men would do without being able to go to the prostitutes.

.

 

Wow. Great conclusion. If guys could not get paid sex, they may become RAPISTS!

That is SUCH an ignorant statement.

"Who knows what men would do without prostitutes?? WHO KNOWS...!"

So if it werent for prostitutes, we would have more rapists.

 

Why don't you start a thread asking all men here if they would become rapists if that was their only way of having sex?

 

Is this something you would do?

 

And you don't have to answer. I am sure Mustang Sally will come to your aid!

[Green]

research also shows with out prostitutes the show CSI would have no spin offs. wait a second dont prostitutes get raped and beat up all the time hmmmmm maybe thered be less rape with out prostitutes???

[DutchGuy]

Wow. Great conclusion. If guys could not get paid sex, they may become RAPISTS!

That is SUCH an ignorant statement.

"Who knows what men would do without prostitutes?? WHO KNOWS...!"

So if it werent for prostitutes, we would have more rapists.

 

Why don't you start a thread asking all men here if they would become rapists if that was their only way of having sex?

 

Is this something you would do?

 

And you don't have to answer. I am sure Mustang Sally will come to your aid!

 

I do think men could become sexual predators if they are denied sex.

Especially if they are brought up not to masturbate.

[NYCmitch25]

I do think men could become sexual predators if they are denied sex.

Especially if they are brought up not to masturbate.

 

I see your point but generally rapists aren't about having sex, they are about controlling other people to 'resolve' control or abuse issues in their own past. In the US, straight men in prisons are doing this kind of thing.

[DutchGuy]

I see your point but generally rapists aren't about having sex, they are about controlling other people to 'resolve' control or abuse issues in their own past. In the US, straight men in prisons are doing this kind of thing.

 

Yeah, I allready acknowledged that most rapes aren't about sex, but the discussion is whether prostitution could prevent SOME people from raping.

[Fun2BMe]

Yeah, I allready acknowledged that most rapes aren't about sex, but the discussion is whether prostitution could prevent SOME people from raping.

 

If rape's not about sex, then you mean if prostitutes get raped it won't 'count' since society will then have designated rapees to relieve the rapists desires to rape?

[Green]

I say prostitues are a big victim of rape both b4 and durring and after they are prostitutes. Not to mention that thing happening around the world called forced prostitution

[sb129]

I know some guys in their late 20's early 30's that never had unpaid sex, they only have sex with prostitutes.

I'm just saying, who knows what those kind of men would do without being able to go to the prostitutes.

Maybe they're only a small portion of the potential rapists out there, but nevertheless.

 

Meanwhile you make all these accusations towards me, but you don't present any evidence yourself.

I never said that I knew all about the subject, but at least I'm trying to prove my point here.

 

I think that a few posters here are missing the point that you are living in a country where prostitution is legal, and the fact that the Dutch are generally quite relaxed in their attitudes towards sex. (and paying for it).

 

I have a feeling that the Netherlands has actually got a relatively low sex-crime rate too? Am I right?

 

Prostitution is legal in my country (not the UK) too, and what that has done has cleaned it up, given the working girls rights and mandatory health checks, and drastically reduced violent crime against prostitutes. They also have to pay tax now too! I am all for legalising it- its never going to go away, why not regulate it for the safety of all parties instead?

 

To the OP- don't beat yourself up, you didn't have a GF at the time. Just don't broadcast it from the hills when you meet a girl you like.

[Fun2BMe]

I am all for legalising it- its never going to go away, why not regulate it for the safety of all parties instead?

 

In the US Workman's comp would cost a fortune. These women would be in situations where they could get raped, contract diseases, get drugged, killed, beaten and so on. I don't think their employers would want to legalize it otherwise they'd be filing BK in days with all their girls legally suing them for all the mistreatments they endure! I don't think suing is as common in other countries where the girls probably sign away their rights to hold their employers accountable for anything that may happen to them, something not done in the US. Currently because prostitution is illegal, if any girls suffer from their clients, they have nobody to hold accountable except for themselves. That's prety much the bottom line to it (and I'm not talking about brothels where the men come to the girls on their own turf with her people around. There are already plenty of 'massage parlors,' strip joints with back rooms and private clubs all around the US as it is - WAY more than in the Netherlands BTW).

[sb129]

I don't think suing is as common in other countries where the girls probably sign away their rights to hold their employers accountable for anything that may happen to them, something not done in the US.

 

Wrong.

Suing happens everywhere. You guys just publicise it more.

 

Where I come from, employers are made SO accountable for anything that happens to their workers while at work that they have to pay the government an employees levy, and if things happen to the employees at work they get compensated automatically.

 

That includes prostitutes. Did you not read the bit where I said "legalising REDUCED the amount of violent crime"??? IE: makes it safer?

[sb129]

There are already plenty of 'massage parlors,' strip joints with back rooms and private clubs all around the US as it is - WAY more than in the Netherlands BTW

 

Of course there are. The US is a MUCH BIGGER COUNTRY than the netherlands.

 

Duh.

 

The difference is that the girls in the Netherlands are protected, regulated, pay tax, and are accepted as members of society.

That is the point I am trying to make here. Get it?

Legalising prostitution won't suddenly make hundreds of brothels spring up.

 

It will simply protect the women already working as prostitutes.

 

It will never ever happen in the US, because it is by and large a country with very conservative views.

[Fun2BMe]

Of course there are. The US is a MUCH BIGGER COUNTRY than the netherlands.

 

Duh.

I'm talking about per capita so don't duh me.

 

The difference is that the girls in the Netherlands are protected, regulated, pay tax, and are accepted as members of society.

That is the point I am trying to make here. Get it?

Legalising prostitution won't suddenly make hundreds of brothels spring up.

 

It will simply protect the women already working as prostitutes.

 

It will never ever happen in the US, because it is by and large a country with very conservative views.

 

Read my response again, maybe you don't get it. There are already legalized brothels in certain counties but not if the prostitutes go out to the jons. The liability in that scenerio is too high as I have mentioned, but you don't get the court system in the US and the liabilities involved in this country, a place oozing with sex and drugs and home of Vegas so seriously, it's not about conservativism. Duh right back.

 

If the OP had invited the stripper/prostitute to his hotel room and she legally gave him a blowjob and contracted herpes in her mouth because let's say they did use a condom but it broke and he came in her mouth, she'd sue the owner of hte strip club who she works for (not to mention the man she performed the deed on) for millions and that just won't fly in the US, even in the "city of sin" which is far far from being conservative. There are already a lot of areas where they cover the streets (Hollywood Blvd comes to mind to name one) and those who want prostitutes can go to those skanky neighborhoods, but to legalize it, they'd flood into the family neighborhoods too.

 

The legalized brothel hoes (just outside Vegas) perform their services under different circumstances and rules that are impossible to enforce in other environments and situations. Also where there are prostitutes freely roaming along the streets, there are a lot of drugs and crime that they bring into those neighborhoods so it's more of a safety issue as well but actually that's fine if you want to calll it conservatism too.

[sb129]

I'm talking about per capita so don't duh me.

 

So why didn't you say so?

 

I get it.

 

Your posts clarity leave a little to be desired though.

 

I haven't a clue about the minutiae of prostitution laws in the US, thank you for clearing up a few points about the "hoes". Funny you call them that. Bit degrading isn't it?

 

I said "by and large" the country has very conservative views. Despite it being

a place oozing with sex and drugs and home of Vegas

It is a generalisation- I know it.

 

Your very attitude towards the topics in this thread confirms it to me though. Down with hoes! Down with drugs, sex and Vegas!

 

Is Vegas that bad, really? There are seedy places all over the world.

Bangkok- Illegal prostitution MAJOR problems.

Just as an example.

[Green]

personaly the area aroud Washington D.C. seemed the worst Ive ever seen very violent people

[Fun2BMe]

 

Is Vegas that bad, really? There are seedy places all over the world.

Bangkok- Illegal prostitution MAJOR problems.

Just as an example.

 

It's actually a very fun place so not sure where you got that I said it's bad. There's a lot of prostitution, but just not 'legal' so that nobody has to worry about liability basically.

[Fun2BMe]

personaly the area aroud Washington D.C. seemed the worst Ive ever seen very violent people

 

 

When they were looking for Chandra Levy's body in DC, they found so many dead prostitutes all over the place in the same week that it was a big disturbing to say the least, especially in the park where they finally found her remains several months later - home to the congressmen who obviously don't want to legalize something they are big users of for obvious reasons.