riverrat Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I have been seeing a beautiful lady since May of last year. We have had our ups and downs since she used to be married to a very abusive man but I have stood by her and things have been going very well. That is until a couple of months ago. I had started getting feelings that something wasnt quite right and I have learned a long time ago to trust my feelings. I would make suttle hints and ask gentle questions but nothing. Then I noticed she was checking an email from my computer when I was there that she never ever checked before. It was her yahoo IM mail and she would only check it when I was in the shower or outside. She has stayed at my house most every weekend that we have met as I'm gone 10 days at a time. We have been talking of moving in together, well mostly me because I have fallen head over heals in love with her. She tells me that she loves me too but isnt quite ready to do that yet because her daughter still stays at her place part tme and her daughter comes first. Then one day after she left from a wonderful weekend of us being together I started my puter. She had forgotten to sign out of her email and must have accidentally hit the keep signed in for 2 weeks button. I was torn between the betrayal of reading her private mail and the overwhelming desire to know. So I opened it. I would have stopped there but the first page was unbelievable. I almost had a heart attack. She had saved every mail she had ever gotten and every mail she had sent. All to men that she chatted with. To make matters worse she had signed up to all kinds of dating sites and it was a flood mails. Seems that every since we had met she has been doing this. Actively looking for men online and several of them she had met. I was floored at the things she would say to them. Setting up dates and times to meet, telling them all her dislikes which were everything about me, never once mentioning me. I didnt know what to do because I love her so and I would ask her straight questions pertaining to what was in her mails without giving away that I had read them. She would look me dead in the eye and lie to me. All the while I knew the truth. It took almost a month before the guilt of me reading her mails got to me and I confessed to her. Told her I read em all. She screamed at me that we were finished. I've never been so hurt in my life and I have just recently went through a divorce after 21 yrs of marriage. The next day she calls me and apologizes and tells me how wrong she was to do it. I have a forgiving heart. She is now talking about when we move in with each other and us starting a home together. I have not been able to get those mails out of my head and to make things worse she hasnt taken her profile off those dating sites, just hidden them. When I mention that to her she just laughs it off. The other day I told her that since the day we met I have not even flirted with another woman let alone been with one. She laughed and said thats cute.......cute??? CUTE!!!! Can you believe it. Although she proclaims her love for I went to one of her dating sites tonight. I have her password from one of her mails and checked her account. Had to see if she had been doing anything. Yes all the messages were there and she had been very active. I'm on the road now working and dont know what to do. My better judgement says drop her but my heart is so deeply in love with her..........what do I do? I dont wanna loose her Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 You are in love with the way she was not the way she is now. Have some self respect and drop her. I think she would drop you sometimes in future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author riverrat Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 You might be right. I have thought of pretty much every part of it in the 2 months I've known of it. I might also add that she is going through menapause right now and it might have something to do with her behavior Link to post Share on other sites
bestadvisor Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 "I've never been so hurt in my life and I have just recently went through a divorce after 21 yrs of marriage." Why the divorce? Did she come in before the divorce was final? "I might also add that she is going through menapause right now and it might have something to do with her behavior" Are you serious? She's been doing this before and during your entire relationship. You are trying to lie to yourself and giving yourself excuse to allow her to abuse you. It's so obvious what you should do for your mental, physical (STDs), pschygological well-being. Well, unless you don't mind diseases and having a sleep-around-slut as a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Listen to your better judgement or you're headed for major heartbreak in the future. From what I've read of your behaviour, she's been treating you like a doormat and you've been allowing her to do so. Of course she's going to want to have her cake and eat it too. DO NOT move in with her. The last thing you want is someone who's not emotionally committed, to have common law rights to your assets. Get rid of her now before you invest even more time, emotion and energy into her. Link to post Share on other sites
FrequentFlyer Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 RUN as fast as you can! Change your cell phone, email, and consider moving! Did you hear me? R U N Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run And get tested too! Six billion people on the planet. This is the ONE for you? Link to post Share on other sites
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