kindashy Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 i have a customer at work who has become a good friend of the family. everyone thinks he has feelings for me ,but he has denied this. he did however seem upset when i began dateing someone for a few weeks. he has told me he has been alone for a while because he was hurt,,,,but has also said he is ready to start dateing again. he also made a point of telling me he is old fashioned and moves slow. everyone thinks he is just too shy to tell me he likes me,,,,they all say its so obvious. sometimes i think he does too,,,,but im not good at reading guys,,,so im unsure. he is always smiling at me and trying to get me to laugh,,,,comes outside with me to smoke (even though he doesnt smoke),,,,calls me occasionally. my friend says he holds the goodbye hug a bit longer with me than the others too.she also thinks he denied haveing feelings because he is extremely shy and felt cornered by the person who asked him. any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
ftheunion Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I'm not all knowing, so not sure how you should proceed. He probably feels more than he could ever explain, or talk about. Guys are designed for hunting (evolutionary psychology) so naturally he ain't too keen with feelins and words, quiet is advantageous. Plus he might be too proud to let out info about himself, he feels it would portray the ugly side of him. He doesn't want to tread on anybody. He has hurt though. Guys don't talk about it cause no one in this world cares, everyone has issues. Plus he can't control the universe, or change the past, so there is no problem to solve by talkin it out. His feelings may change or cycle, so its just better for guys to keep the mouth shut. He just has to take it and stuff it down like the rest of us guys. If my goodbye hug was intense, or stronger than most, that would mean I feel somethin. I'm sure he likes huggin you. Tough subject though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindashy Posted September 4, 2007 Author Share Posted September 4, 2007 thank you for your reply,,,,,,,,,,,i think you may be right. seeing a guys take on it is very helpful. my friend thinks i should just come out with it,,,but i think that will make him too uncomfortable. i think he needs to just do whatever it is he is thinking about in his own time,,,being so shy and all. Link to post Share on other sites
ftheunion Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 If you have feelings for him, kiss him on the cheek when you hug goodbye. Or if you walking together take his hand. He just ain't got the self esteem cause of the hurt. Women tend to wait for guys get their **** together, but you'll be waiting along time. If you show him constant affection it I dunno what it will do, but if you are aggressive you can pierce that shy shield he has. If there is opportunity, take it. Sit close to him and lay you head on his shoulder. After this goes on for 3 or 4 months, then you could perfectly well tell him your feelings for him. I am shy too. All through highschool I would daydream about this. Sure would be nice. Buy shyness and not rock solid confidence just is irony. It is hell when a really shy guy is crazy about some girl. It is more intense if he doesn't know/ see her except like once a day. F*** that just is so intense on the heart. I dunno why I didn't get a heart attack in highschool. It's that nerve wracking tug at the heart strings, and everytime when they see her its like one huge resonating strum. I'm just an 18 year old virgin ranting though, so hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindashy Posted September 5, 2007 Author Share Posted September 5, 2007 i kiss him on the cheek all the time,,,,,even missed the cheek and got his neck a few times,,,lol. i keep telling myself that next time im just going to do or say something,,,but then i chicken out. im not shy about alot of things like he is,,,,but im horribly shy when it comes to letting a guy know im interrested. fear of the unknown i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 i have a customer at work who has become a good friend of the family. everyone thinks he has feelings for me ,but he has denied this. he did however seem upset when i began dateing someone for a few weeks. he has told me he has been alone for a while because he was hurt,,,,but has also said he is ready to start dateing again. he also made a point of telling me he is old fashioned and moves slow. everyone thinks he is just too shy to tell me he likes me,,,,they all say its so obvious. sometimes i think he does too,,,,but im not good at reading guys,,,so im unsure. he is always smiling at me and trying to get me to laugh,,,,comes outside with me to smoke (even though he doesnt smoke),,,,calls me occasionally. my friend says he holds the goodbye hug a bit longer with me than the others too.she also thinks he denied haveing feelings because he is extremely shy and felt cornered by the person who asked him. any ideas? The straight way is always the best approach. Just ask him right out if he thinks the two of you could ever go out. Be honest and be yourself and take it from there. That's always the best way, and at least you'd know then. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 It sounds like he is definitely interested in you. If you feel the same, start flirting more or calling him more, but not too much of either. If he starts to get signals that your interested too, he's more likely to make his feelings known eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
ftheunion Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 I would have thought the words would be nothin. Cuase it comes straight out of the subconcious, so its over fast and is natural. Anyway, I'm just some guy who don't know about women. I admire y'all, but yet definitly intimidated. It's the final frontier right ther. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindashy Posted September 6, 2007 Author Share Posted September 6, 2007 i dont know,,,,,im a horrible flirt. i have tried to before,,,and im just not good at it. i dunno,,,lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindashy Posted October 4, 2007 Author Share Posted October 4, 2007 ok,,,so i tried flirting a bit with him,,,and i was right. i have no clue when it comes to flirting,,,lol. anyway,,,he has called a couple times to "just see how i am" and has stopped by work a couple times. the last time he came in we were pretty much alone,,,so we had a more personal type of conversation. we started talking about relationships and stuff. he made a point of telling me he's shy and moves slow. part of me thinks he tells me these things because he is interrested,,,,but then again he might just be telling me because we are friends. also,,,when he hugged me goodbye,,he seemed a bit nervous. almost like he wasnt sure if he should. i found that funny because he always hugs me goodbye,,,so why so nervous now? Link to post Share on other sites
BrandonBlues Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Wow, this guy sounds a little like me. I'm a big flirt, but when It comes to taking the next step with a girl I'm actually really into, I turn into a puppy dog. I'm actually seeing this one girl right now, we're friends with benefits and I'm starting to want more but am afraid to say anything and put myself out there. And like this friend of yours, I've told this girl things like 'I'm not the aggresive type' and that 'everytime I've fooled around with a girl she's been the one to make the first move'. We're basically asking you to hold us by the hand lol. I think if you got this started he would surprise you. I know it's pretty ballsy but I'd consider making the first move the next time you two are alone and having one of those deep conversations. If I were a betting man, I'd say he'd go with it. Actions speak louder than words, after an episode like that I'm sure the words will come easier :-) So I say give it a shot. Next time you go to give him a kiss on the cheek before you leave him, linger there a bit longer and I bet his lips will inevitably line with yours. Move in for the kill and enjoy the rest lol Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 when he hugged me goodbye,,he seemed a bit nervous. almost like he wasnt sure if he should. i found that funny because he always hugs me goodbye,,,so why so nervous now? You were alone, so he was probably contemplating a kiss, and was actually nervous about that. He chickened out, and settled for the usual hug. Maybe him talking about how slow he is in relationships was his way of telling you "That's why I still haven't asked you out yet!". Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindashy Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 ok,,,so the last couple times he came in were like tha last time,,,,,,talking,,,having a lot of laughs. again when he left he seemed nervous when we hugged goodbye,,,,,,,,almost like he thought he shouldnt or something,,,,,lol. i tried the flirty touch the arm thingy,,,,just before he hugged me. maybe i should just suck it up and say something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindashy Posted December 26, 2007 Author Share Posted December 26, 2007 well,,,,,its been a couple months,,,and i still havent got the nerve to just come out and ask him. lol,,,,i know,,,,pittiful. anyway,,,,,he does seem to try to get my attention quite a bit at work ( i work in a bar) and last week he gave out christmas cards to a few of us girls he has become friends with. they all said because the one he gave me was big and very fancy compared to the rest that it means he is trying to tell me something,,,,,lol. do grown men actually subconciousely do things like that? by the way,,,,,happy hollidays to all,,,and thank you for youre replies. Link to post Share on other sites
Vesaras Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 well,,,,,its been a couple months,,,and i still havent got the nerve to just come out and ask him. lol,,,,i know,,,,pittiful. anyway,,,,,he does seem to try to get my attention quite a bit at work ( i work in a bar) and last week he gave out christmas cards to a few of us girls he has become friends with. they all said because the one he gave me was big and very fancy compared to the rest that it means he is trying to tell me something,,,,,lol. do grown men actually subconciousely do things like that? by the way,,,,,happy hollidays to all,,,and thank you for youre replies. i doubt it was a subconcious action...like this guy sounds a whole lot like me...too shy to put things into words...but i find guys like us tend to try do things that sort of drop hints or try and impress the girl...so...i say just go for it after reading all your previous posts...i know it's easier said than done, but try and pick a time/place and just force yourself to say it...once it's said...you'll feel a lot better, plus it'll be out there and you cant take it back...which is a good thing...happy holidays Link to post Share on other sites
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